When jealousy eats at you and all you can do is sit there

Title: When jealousy eats at you and all you can do is sit there
Rating: Teen
Series: Sex Pistols, Archer
Pairings/Couples/Characters: Fujiwara Shirou, Madarame Yonekuni
Part of: Sex, Spies and other small lies
Beta: None, all mistakes are my own
For: Stephanie, who has been cheering me one and helping me so much with this universe
Summary:  Yonekuni has to tag along on Shirou’s mission, getting his first taste of what the male actually does.  During this, he finds out somethings that doesn’t sit well with him.  But it’s not like he has a choice about what Shirou does for his job.  After all, it wasn’t his place to voice his objection.
Notes:  Still going strong (slow).  This was written down in a notebook as a rough draft, the next part hasn’t been written out yet, so it’ll be a while for the next part.  There’s rough drafts for my Red Dead Redemption/Sex Pistols stories, so those will be typed up while I write out a rough draft for the next part.

Rolling emotions left him unsettled, the surging of jealousy with anger rising and mixing. Yonekuni tried to to push these emotions down as he leaned further into the table, ignoring the chattering and hesitant looks that were sent his way.  It wasn’t hard to guess that those around him were catching onto his emotions and his attitude, giving him the space that his body was silently giving off.  That hadn’t stopped someone from approaching him a while ago, taking a seat next to him, watching him for her own amusement.

The clearing of a throat, the drink that he had forgotten was pushed towards him.  The wafting scent from the side, a hand that crept up his leg.  Swallowing quietly, he stilled himself as he eyed the table nearby, he wasn’t used to older woman with such strength as the one next to him to approach him.

His gaze flitted from where he had been watching Shirou work to the older woman and her sharp gaze.

“You shouldn’t be so jealous,” the husky voice whispered, her free hand reaching for her drink while her occupied inched up further.  “You told him how you feel, haven’t you?”

Yonekuni paused, reaching for his glass.  He wanted to tell her that the feelings he was having was just infatuation, nothing more than just a boyhood crush.  But he didn’t know how far down his feelings ran, never actually stopped to think about what he was feeling.  His eyes turned back towards the table to watch as Shirou leaned in, the ache in his chest growing.  He didn’t like that feeling at all.

“I barely know him. And I as hell don’t know how I feel,” he muttered, downing it in one gulp.  Ignoring the burning the liquid left in his throat, he stared down at the table as though the wood had all the answers that he wanted to know.

“So tell him,” long fingers found purchase along his lap, teasing fingers that lingered for a moment before slipping away, causing him to look up at her once more.  “There’s nothing wrong with just confessing, even if you’re not sure how you feel.  You wouldn’t believe how sometimes just admitting to some kind of feelings leads to what someone wishes. Unless,” the older woman paused, eyeing him with suspicion that didn’t didn’t match the tone of her voice, “this is nothing but a joke to you.”

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Yonekuni tore his gaze away, unsettled by the way the woman was now eyeing him.  When she had first started touching him, he had thought that the woman wanted sex, something he would have taken up in a heartbeat weeks ago.  That wasn’t what the vibe he was getting now, feeling as though he was under scrutiny by a predator, a feeling that was completely foreign to him

Already agitated and ready to tell the woman off, it was the sight of the empty table and the fact that Shirou was walking away with the man stop him.  Watching as the man Shirou had been talking to pause to pay for their tab.

Ready to push back his chair and storm over, Yonekuni paused when Shirou glanced over at him.  From across the room, dim enough to give everyone just a little privacy, he could see the older male’s expression.  The one finger that was held up, silencing him.  The nod towards him, though he couldn’t tell if it was towards him or the woman, going by the tension seeping away and the brush of fingers against his arm that turned into a gentle squeeze before falling away.

“He’ll be back,” amusement that laced her voice, lips curled up before she waved at a passing waiter to quietly request another drink.  A sharp nod from the waiter, leaving only to return quickly with another glass, placed just opposite of them and the empty chair.

“How do you know that?”  The harshness of his voice didn’t surprise the woman, eyebrows raising slowly.  Looking as though she had caught her prey, her lips curved into a smile

“You’re the first person he has ever brought with him that he didn’t work with,” a sidelong glance at him and if he were just looking at the surface, he would have thought the tone of her voice was nothing but teasing.  But years of living with a mother like his taught him that the surface was nothing but a lie.  The chuckle the woman gave was enough to prove him right.

“What makes you so special?  I wonder,” a look that resembled curiosity, though Yonekuni couldn’t be sure, as the woman thought and looked him over.  Low hums before the sound of a ping from her phone pulled her from her thoughts and her appraisal of him.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” he commented after a minute of silence, having waited until she was done with her phone.

“I would say that it really isn’t any of your business to how I know.  I could easily tell you, but where’s the fun it that?”  A shrug of a shoulder, though her body language was different from her attitude.

Which changed instantly as a true smile crossed her face as Shirou approached the table.  For the briefest moment, one that she would later deny to him, her control over her soul slipped.  The warm hug that she pulled Shirou into and the murmured words that he didn’t catch.  It was easy to see the warmth between the older woman and Shirou, and while the atmosphere was anything but sexual, Yonekuni couldn’t help the feeling of envy of how relaxed and comfortable Shirou was around the woman.

In the time he had spent with Shirou, the male hadn’t been this relaxed.  Biting back a sigh, Yonekuni was about to look away to give them privacy when the hand on his shoulder had him turning his attention back towards the two.

“I see you’re getting along well with my mom,” Shirou commented with a fond smile as he reached for the glass that the woman had ordered.

Yonekuni paused for a moment, letting Shirou’s words sink in.

The woman that had bought him a drink, felt him up while talking about his feelings, was Shirou’s mom.  The heavyweight cat to his side, one who looked nothing like the wolf.  Working his jaw, running through the questions he wanted to ask, it took Shirou downing the drink in a few swallows before placing the glass back onto the table.  Eyes that darted from him to his watch before worrying his bottom lip.

“You didn’t have to use your other tricks, did you?”  Shirou’s mother asked, concern lacing her voice.

This caused Yonekuni to lean forward in his seat, eyeing the two figures with more curiosity and focused on the woman’s expression.

Shoulders that tensed a little, lips that pressed down to hold back a sound before a short shake of his head.  The comfortable atmosphere had evaporated quickly with a heavy sigh.

“You know I shouldn’t actually say anything, mom.  And the fact that you know such information could get me into trouble with Malory.  But no, I didn’t.”  A glance around the room by Shirou, Yonekuni pushed his chair away and stood up before Shirou could say anything.  It wasn’t hard to tell that this sort of conversation between mother and son would be better in private.

The grateful look Shirou sent him was enough to ease back the worry, a genuine smile crossed the older male’s face.  For a brief moment it looked as though the woman’s ears had appeared, flattening back against her head, but it couldn’t be what he saw.  The shake of her head, a sigh that he wasn’t supposed to hear.

“Come on, we can head back to the room to talk,” Shirou motioned with his head towards the elevators.

“I wouldn’t think you would be here, mom,” Shirou tossed over his shoulder as he pressed the button for the elevator, turning to see the flicker of a smile on her lips.

“You know how it goes, Shirou, trying to keep everyone on their toes.  But being honest, there were some reports filed that I needed to check in on.  It’s just a coincidence that I would be at the same hotel as you,” a raised eyebrow from Shirou as they entered the elevator and the laugh from the woman.

“Okay, you got me.  When you called to make a reservation, I made sure to be here when you arrived.  You’re no fun.  I just haven’t seen you in a while, so I came here.  I do have work to do here though, so I can only talk for a little bit before I start on actually working.”

Confusion wasn’t new to him lately and Yonekuni was lost at their conversation, struggling to keep up with what was being said.  It took him a moment that Shirou was looking at him, eyebrows drawn before clearing up.

“Sorry if this is so confusing,” Shirou confessed as he lead them away from the elevator once it reached their floor, “I forgot that I never actually introduced you to my mom and she, well,” a shrug of his shoulders, “you’ll find out.”

“Boo,” Shirou’s mother’s voice followed, stepping inside the hotel room and closing the door with a click.  “Really Shirou, you’re no fun.  But he’s right, I’m Saitou Makoto and Shirou’s mother.”

“So that fully explains why you felt the need to touch me?”  Yonekuni took a seat, enjoying the uncomfortable look that crossed her face and the widening of Shirou’s eyes.  “I’m not mad, but I was just wondering why you would approach a seventeen year old and just,” a wave of his hand as he enjoyed the situation he was causing, almost as fun as seeing Shirou flustered.

“I was just seeing if you were just there for a quick fuck-”

“Mom!” Shirou’s voice, face flushed with embarrassment.  “He’s my ward-  I mean, I guarding him.  I was hired as a bodyguard for him by his mother.”

“Mother?”  The steel in her voice, shoulders tensing as she stood up straight, her attention zooming in on him.

“Yeah, this is Madarame Yonekuni.  His mother hired me to be his bodyguard-”

Ignoring Shirou’s words, Makoto moved away from her spot and towards where Yonekuni was sitting.  Working her jaw and pressing her lips into a thin line, she breathed deeply as though she was struggling to control her anger.

“Your mother is Makio, correct?”

At his nod, she inhaled a hiss of a breath, taking in the information for a moment before turning back to Shirou, her tone conveying emotions that she hadn’t voiced.

“I’ll see you later, Shirou.  Give me a call whenever you can.  Stay safe, you know I worry about you.  And you,” a cool look towards him, “If I were you, I’d be very careful.  I don’t trust you nor your mother, there’s always something up with the Madarame.”

Yonekuni bristled at Makoto’s tone, the thinly veiled threat didn’t sit well.  Opening his mouth to retort, he didn’t have a chance as Makoto turned on her heel and moved quickly out of the room, leaving him staring at the closed door.

“What the hell was that?  Shirou, c’mon, you gotta tell me,” Yonekuni nearly leapt out of his chair to pace along the spacious room.

“There was an incident or two when I was younger, with your mother,” Shirou sighed, taking a seat at the edge of one of the beds.  “You once asked how I knew your mother, correct?”

At Yonekuni’s nod, Shirou continued.

“My mom was the one who found out about Makio having me “work” for her.  She has never forgiven your mother for tricking me-”

“How can she trick you?  You were eighteen, weren’t you?”  Yonekuni found himself asking, knowing only the basic of details of his mother’s business.  He wasn’t expecting the bark of a laugh that held a touch of bitterness, the way Shirou dragged his hand down the front of his face to cup his chin.

“Is that what she tells you?  That she waits until someone is of legal and age consent to approach?  I thought you were smarter than that, Yonekuni.  No, she approached me when I was fifteen.  That-”  Shirou swallowed and licked his lips, struggling to keep from letting the young blond know how much that had affected him.  “That’s a story for another time.”

Stopping his pacing, Yonekuni eyed and watched as Shirou tried to hide the nervousness that his question had raised.  This was a completely new side to his bodyguard, one that he wasn’t sure was actually real.  Realizing that he was stepping out of line, Yonekuni took a seat next to Shirou.

“Back there, earlier, in the lounge.  What were you really up to?  Why did you mom mention “other tricks“?  And how is a cat, one that’s stronger than you, your mom?”  Yonekuni drew in a breath, struggling to put a lid on the questions that he just wants answered.

“What do you think I was doing?  Just flirting with someone for fun?  Because let me tell you, it’s not fun.  Sure, the first few times it is, but after all this time, it’s not.”  Shirou shook his head, glancing at him before turning his attention to the floor and gathered his memories.

“Yonekuni, how do you think I get the Intel that I need?  I’m normally not a bodyguard, you know that-”

“So you’re a spy?”  A quirk of lips as he tried to lighten the mood, a small smile was his answer in return.

“I guess you can say that, I prefer the term “Covert Agent” to spy,” a shrug of a shoulder.  “So I can’t just walk up to them and start asking questions without raising suspicion.  So what other way is there for me?  Majority of them are just simple setups.  Approach them, buy them a drink or two.  And then, my pheromones lure them into a false sense of security.  None of them remember meeting me afterwards.”

Another shrug, teeth worrying a bottom lip before a heavy sigh as Shirou’s shoulders drooped a little.

“I might as well tell you, since I have to bring you.  The targets I’m given have information that I need.  And the best way to get that information?  Attention.  Heavyweights tend to bask and live for attention.  Regular humans and light to middleweights, I have no problem with just my pheromones.  But when it comes to heavyweights, my pheromones aren’t enough to get them hooked.”

Shirou tensed beside him, silent for a moment before opening his mouth a few times.  A rising flush to his cheeks.

“I use my body,” Shirou cleared his throat, staring down at his hands.  “You know, my coworkers think it’s funny.  That it’s so easy, lure them into bed and let them fuck me.  But it’s so much more,” Shirou’s words trailed off into a whisper.  “It sounds so much better when I don’t have to explain it,” Shirou laughed to himself.

Yonekuni could feel the tension building along his skin, the jealousy that he had been ignoring earlier rose up.  Wanting to question the male and demand answers he didn’t have the right to know.  Instead, he pushed himself to his feet and moved to the mini fridge to grab two bottles of water before returning back to his seat next to the older male.  Handing one to Shirou while opening his, he heard the low murmur of thanks.

“I guess, you’ve got to do what you got to do to get the job done,” Yonekuni offered after taking a drink.  “I can’t judge you for that.”

‘Even if I want to be the one you sleep with,’ his mind provided.

He wanted to ask Shirou about it more, wanted to know more about why and how.  But at the same time, he couldn’t stomach the information.  It was already hard enough to not picture Shirou with someone, anyone.

“I’m telling you this because-  Well, I’m used to working alone, none of my coworkers really want to be partnered with me.  So I’m used to dealing with the aftermath of everything.  They won’t remember the few hours, won’t remember even meeting me.  But that takes a lot out of me,” Shirou took another drink of water, attempting to wash away the embarrassment and the shame.

It wasn’t like he was ashamed at using his body.  He was ashamed at the reaction Yonekuni was giving him.  He enjoyed sex and the targets he had in the past were good looking and enjoyable, giving him the outlet he needed without the hangups of a relationship.

“You know, you still haven’t told me about your mom,” Yonekuni offered, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had built while he had gotten lost in his thoughts.

Cracking a smile, Shirou shook his head to clear away the thoughts and confessions, knocking his shoulder against Yonekuni’s.

“What’s there to tell?  Makoto adopted me when my parents died when I was a kid.  She’s, well, she’s my mom.  I remember my birth mom, but Makoto-  She’s the one that stepped up and took me in.  And if you ever ask her, she’ll tell you stories about me.  True or not, she’ll talk your ear off.  But,” tilting his head back to stare up at the ceiling before closing his eyes.  After a long day, he was tired.  Even if he hadn’t done as much as he normally would do.

“Don’t be scared of her.  She’s protective, she cares and worries.  I’m sure your family does the same when it comes to you.”

Shirou startled, a hand on his arm and the hesitant look before Yonekuni rested his head on his shoulder.  Swallowing past the lump that appeared in his throat, Shirou ignored the way his heart lurched in his chest, ignored the way it started to pound and ignored the faintest trembling of his hand as he raised it to smooth away blond hair.

“Yeah,” Yonekuni agreed quietly, closing his eyes.


Admin note

Still alive, though i barely started typing out the next part of Sex, Spies and other small lies. Also working on more John/Shirou.

I’m tempted in posting teasers, like i did on my livejournal before i deleted it ywars ago.

And if you like to, please feel free to leave a comment. You don’t know how much they mean to me. It lets me know that you’re enjoying the story. 🙂

Questions leads to answers and that’s not exactly what you want to hear

Title: Questions leads to answers and that’s not exactly what you want to hear
Rating: Teen
Series: Sex Pistols, Archer
Pairings/Couples/Characters: Fujiwara Shirou, Madarame Yonekuni
Part of: Sex, Spies and other small lies
Beta: None, all mistakes are my own
For: Stephanie, who has been cheering me one and helping me so much with this universe
Summary: Yonekuni has been curious as to why Shirou doesn’t live the way other heavyweights live.  Doesn’t flaunt his strength and his status.  Of course, he hadn’t thought much about Shirou’s other job.  Yonekuni finds himself embarrassing himself.
Notes:  Been working on this very slowly.  It’s summer, but everything has been slow.  I’ve been slow.  But things have been pretty weird for me.  Had family visiting in June, so I hadn’t had a chance to actually sit down and type anything up.  I’m winging this, writing for the sake of writing.

In the two weeks since he met the one person that changed his life, becoming his now bodyguard, Yonekuni had been accidentally hit twice and knocked out once.  Of course he knew it was his fault for sneaking up behind Shirou, intent on stealing a kiss.  Each time he had hoped to steal one and on the fourth time, he managed to get that kiss he had been wanting.  A kiss that, as brief as it was, was the sweetest kiss he had ever had.

Yonekuni found himself wanting to smile, just a hint of a crack of one before he ducked his head.  In the background he could hear the teacher drone on, the murmuring of surprise telling him that the girls had caught onto the fact that he wanted to smile.  He could feel the gaze on the back of his head, the ever telling presence from the back of the classroom that watched him and the whole classroom.

At the time, he hadn’t thought that Shirou would take the whole “body guarding” seriously.  He thought that the older male would be like the other body guards that some of the students had.  Either station themselves in the hallway or in the teacher’s lounge, relaxing and chatting among themselves until their wards required them.  Deep down he knew he wasn’t in as much danger as he had lead others to believe.  Only wanted to have the male close by, hoping the heavyweight would notice him.

Of course it hadn’t escaped his notice of how he acted around Shirou versus how he acted around his male classmates.  The hostile looks when they got too close to him, either by accident or on purpose.  The lovesick looks that the few light and middle weights dared to send his way.  Briefly wondering if Shirou felt the same way when he sent the older male looks of his own.

Tapping his pencil on his open text book, glancing at the whiteboard and the calculations that the teacher was writing out.  It didn’t take a genius to see how the middleweight teacher hesitated, pausing for a moment before shakily continuing under the watchful gaze.  He didn’t have to look around to know that he was the recipient of a mixture of jealousy, enviousness and resentful looks that others would constantly send him.  It didn’t matter if they weren’t in his class or even in his grade.  Those that had their own bodyguards were jealous of how close Shirou was to him.  Of the attention that the older male gave him.  They wanted the closeness that he had, jealous of the fact that while they had their guards and their money, they don’t have the attention he was getting.

If he were to fully think about his classmates, put himself in their shoes and know the loneliness that they felt, he would understand.  But they just didn’t understand.  They just wanted their guards to give them the same feeling that Shirou was giving him, even if Shirou didn’t know of his growing feelings.

They didn’t understand the fact that Shirou was suppressing his soul, giving off the appearance of just a middleweight dog.  Nothing he showed to the world would indicate of what the older man truly was.  Just a false front, one that was timid with little strength to back up the cool aloof he gave off and gave his charge his attention in ways that others in his profession would never do.

After the first few days of school, he tried to corner the heavyweight.  Thinking he was clever and fast enough that he would be able to get answers to his questions.  Instead, through he found his back being slammed against the wall with a hand braces just centimeters away from his throat.  A muffled curse, hands dropping away and a few steps backs.  He should have remembered, should be scared by the male’s actions.  Instead, the thrill of excitement and the overpowering scent coming from Shirou had him wanting nothing more than to nuzzle into Shirou’s neck and breath in more of that scent.

Instead, he watched as grey eyes searched his face before the shaking of a head.  The turn away from him, almost as if his bodyguard was dismissing him.  Reaching out, his hand caught Shirou’s arm to stop him from putting more distance between them.

“Why do you act like that?”  He had asked, dropping his hand quickly.

“Like what?” An almost innocent look and tone, one he would have believed if he hadn’t constantly witnessed the male wearing a calculated look out in public.

“Act like you don’t have the strength you were born with,” a nod towards the window and the school buildings that lay in the distance, “in the classroom.  You don’t act like a heavyweight.  You downplay your status in society.”  He tried to explain, not fully understanding the reason the male had yet to explain.

It was the way pale eyes lit up in understanding, turning away from him to the other side of their shared room, another thing that was specially afforded to him.

“I rather like keeping others on their toes,” Shirou explained, loosening his tie before slipping it over his head with a sigh of relief, tossing the piece of his uniform on his bed.  “If they see me as someone weaker than what I actually am, they wouldn’t give me a second thought.  Which, to be honest, I enjoy,” a small smile the he caught, biting down on the inside of his cheek to hold back the grin that wanted to join.  “It allows me to do my job a lot easier than if others were to know that I am a top tier.”

Emptying his pockets and shrugging off his blazer to hang it up for the following day.  Yonekuni watched Shirou’s movements in silence, taking what was said to heart and knew he had to find out more.

“Still,” he sat down on his bed with a little bounce, “others would respect you more if you carried yourself like the way I do.  You’d command the attention of everyone around you-”

“And what would that prove?”  Shirou shot back, narrowing his eyes over his shoulder.  “That just using your birth status you could get whatever you want?”  A shake of Shirou’s head.  “Not everything can be solved by showing the world what I am and using my status to get what I want.  I want to believe in above that.  Above the basic nature of madararui.  But I’m not.”

Yonekuni watched as nimble fingers slipped each button through each small hole.

“I don’t want to be reduced down to my basic nature, though I end up using my gifts and talents to finish jobs and missions,” the pause of words, the silence as the heavyweight from across him struggled to explain his reasoning.

“I’ve seen the aftermath of a top tier snake had their way to get what they wanted.  To see a lightweight being reduced to tears, a puddle of urine and vomit all because they could.”

“That doesn’t mean it happens all the time, ” Yonekuni pointed out, leaning forward.

“You’re right, of course,” Shirou said softly, folding his shirt even though it was going to be washed the following day.  “That doesn’t happen very often, they have their own masks and their own facades to keep up.  But when one does lose sight of themselves and decide to use their power and strength to destroy others because they can, I don’t want to be seen as ruthless as them.”

A deep breath that hitched as it was released, Yonekuni pressed his lips together to keep himself from speaking out.  It was enough that Shirou felt comfortable to explain his reasoning, even if he himself didn’t fully see it from the older man’s point of view.

“Everything I have, everything I’ve accomplished so far in my lie, I worked for.  The status that I have, what I was born with, is for those who need to know.  Even then, when I tell them, I am the one in control.”

The look that Shirou sent him, silently judging him before sitting down on his bed, staring down at the floor.  For a brief moment, he wondered if the person Shirou was talking about was his mother.  He wouldn’t put it past her to tear down someone that got in her way.

Shirou hadn’t been fully forthcoming about himself and his past, almost tight lipped.  He had, on more than one occasion called his mother and asked her about his bodyguard.  Normally she would be less than forthcoming about her work and those that inquired to her about the services that she offered.  But when he asked about Shirou, she seemed happy, almost gleeful with boasting.

With information that had nothing to do with the older man.

When he asked more about him, more about the professional relationship she had with Shirou, she had hung up on him.


“Mister Madarame,” the call of his name pulled him from his memories, jerking his head up to see that not only his teacher looking at him over his glasses, but his classmates were as well.  “If you could actually pay attention and answer the question, you can leave for the day.  Which, of course, your classmates will be very thankful.”  Despite the teacher’s stern words, Yonekuni caught darting glance from himself to the back of the classroom, leaving him guessing that his bodyguard wasn’t amused.

He couldn’t see Shirou from where he was sitting and he had hopped that the older male would be cracking even a hint of a smile, the behavior of his teacher lead to more questions.

Licking his bottom lip, determined to find out what was going on, he didn’t notice the visible way his teacher gulped at him.


By the end of the day, behind the closed door of his private dorm that he shared with Shirou, he had his chance to ask though he found himself hesitating.  Knowing that he normally wasn’t shy, more often than not he went after what he wanted.  But now he found himself taking baby steps, confused about the swirling emotions behind what he felt for the heavyweight.

Sucking up his courage, he was about to ask what was going on with his teacher and his strange behavior when the sound of an unfamiliar ring of a phone filled the air.

A low curse, long fingers reaching for the phone to answer it on the second ring.

For the two weeks that Shirou had been with him, that phone that he kept with him had stayed silent.  Yonekuni didn’t have to ask, going by the stiffening of shoulders and the widening of eyes.  The look that Shirou sent him before turning around and heading towards the private bathroom, closing the door.

Yonekuni could only catch the muffled one sided conversation, barely understanding what was being said.  Rolling his shoulders and turning away from the door, wishing he could hear what was being spoken.

Normally he wouldn’t consider himself nosy.  Usually kept to himself, not wanting to push his way into a situation that had nothing to do with him.  Now, though, he couldn’t get enough.  Wanting to know more, wanting to know why he felt the urge to ask such questions that wasn’t any of his business.

Moving towards Shirou’s bed and the overwhelming scent that tugged at his senses, calling out to him.  A rumbled sound that resembled a call of his soul, reaching for one of the pillows that Shirou used.  Trailing his fingers across the crisp pillow case, picking up and bringing it up towards his face.  Burying his face into the pillow and taking a deep breath, letting the lingering scent wash over him and his senses, he didn’t hear the door open.

Didn’t see the slight confusion cross Shirou’s face nor the coloring of cheeks.  He could only commit the scent to memory, hoping that would be enough to get through some personal alone time.

Hearing the clearing of a throat, his grasp on the pillow loosened, dropping it to the floor while his head jerked up.  Feeling a heated blush crossing his cheeks, Yonekuni licked his lips as he tried to ignore the embarrassment that was filling him.

Shirou didn’t acknowledge the situation, his gaze calm and his words even.

“Get your things together,” Shirou pushed away from the doorway and past him, grabbing his wallet and an empty bag that rested against the wall.  “We gotta go.”

“What about classes?”  Yonekuni couldn’t help but ask, not fully caring about his classes, only wanting to hear the older male’s answer.

“You’ll have a tutor when we get back to help you catch up with what you miss.”

Yonekuni caught the twitching of lips and wondered if the ache in his chest was related to the budding feelings that started to grow.  Nodding his head, Yonekuni followed.

As he started packing a few clothes, unsure of how much to bring and what type, he found himself asking.

“What’s going on?  You know, back in class?  I’ve never seen the teacher be that nervous.  Especially when he kept on looking back towards where you were sitting,” he looked at Shirou, catching the widening of eyes.

“So you noticed that,” Shirou chuckled softly before his expression became serious.  “I over heard some gossip going on, especially about you.  It seems as though your teacher wants to have sex with you.  He brought up the subject of maybe drugging you to get what he wants.  I didn’t catch if he wanted to fuck you or be fucked by you.”

Shirou shook his head, frowning.

“I didn’t like the thought of him tricking you and others, so I just confronted him and reminded him that what happens to those that prey on under aged students and children,” he scratched at his chin, eyeing him with worry that didn’t show on his face.  “I may have also pulled my gun on him when he didn’t take my words seriously.”

With a shrug at his look, Yonekuni shook his head.

“Then I better take you seriously,” Yonekuni joked as he slung his back across his shoulder, eyeing the way the gun holsters were situated, comfortable under the male’s arms and the two guns that were checked and slipped back into their rightful places.

“By the way, did you pack for the heat?”

‘Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad,’ Yonekuni thought to himself, a grin on his lips.

Though not everything falls before you, keep your head up

Title: Though not everything falls before you, keep your head up
Rating: Everyone/Teen
Pairings/Characters: Fujiwara Shirou, Jack Marston, hints of John Marston/Fujiwara Shirou, John Marston/Abigail Marston, John/Shirou/Abigail
Series: Red Dead Redemption, Sex Pistols
Part of: Trying something new won’t kill you, until your imagination runs wild.  Set further into John and Shirou’s relationship, and the budding relationship between John, Abigail and Shirou.
Beta: None, all mistakes are my own
Warnings: This series completely ignores the ending of Red Dead Redemption, I just want some John and Shirou smut with some sort of plot mixed in.
Summary: The noise of the winter storm waking him up, Shirou knows that he’ll be unable to sleep.  He didn’t expect to be startled by Jack nor was he expecting the questions that make him question the budding relationship.
Notes: I had this idea back in September/October and love the idea of Shirou being invited into the house once the weather starts to become unbearably cold.  I have no excuse to my lateness 😦

The howling of the wind rattled the window in its frame as the ends of branches scraped along the glass planes, leaving the creaking wood of trees struggled against the wind while the house stood firm against the storm.  He could feel the cold seem through the cracks and under the doors despite the fires blazing in the two fire places.

Burrowing deeper under the heavy blanket, Shirou huffed to himself as he tried to ignore the sounds coming from outside.  If he were to strain and listen carefully, he would be able to hear the howling of the wolves that feared to stray close to the property.  Guarded by one who is extremely territorial, able to feel the aura and the scent that would drive them off.  None of the yipping of pups, only the warning howls to each other.

Shirou ignored the ache in his chest as memories of his childhood surfaced.  Being with his parents and carefree, before everything went to shit.  Before his life changed forever.  No longer could he remember the comforting scent of his mother and her kind smile, nor of his father that taught him how to control his soul.

Poking his head out from underneath the blanket, groaning deep at the chill.  There was no way he would be getting back to sleep, not with the memories that haunted him and the echos of his parent’s voices in his head.

It hadn’t been that long since the cold weather descended upon them, the chill in the wind becoming sharper with each day, Shirou took up the offer when John had almost hesitantly brought it up at the time, one morning when the returner to ancestry came to check in early in the morning and noticed the near freezing temperature.  At the time and still now, grateful for the offer, in the spare room across the hall from Jack’s.  His “old room” in the barn was now being taken up by the cattle at night, giving them a little reprieve from the cold and wind.

Trading one lumpy mattress for another left him little room for complaints.  The room in the house was warmer than the barn.  The nights no longer long and miserable, his elevated body heat only going to far before the cold got to be too much.

Sitting up and pulling the blanket with him, Shirou quietly opened the door and stepped into the near silent hallway.  The crackling of the fire flared several times with every gust of wind, brightening the room before becoming dim once more, leaving just enough light.  Pulling the blanket tighter around his body, moving the chair closer to the fire, just close enough to be heated perfectly.

Before he sat down, Shirou grabbed a book that lay forgotten on the small coffee table, skimming his fingers along the worn and soft cover, he couldn’t make out the title of the book before opening it to a random page.  Curling up in the chair, Shirou read.

It didn’t matter that the page he picked was in the middle of the story, nor did it matter that everything seemed like a mess, even if it worked well enough to suck him in.  Losing himself in the words, a story similar to what he was told while growing up.  Stories told to keep children in line and have them listen to their parents, giving them the consequences of disobeying.  One story, told to him after he wandered away from his mother’s side at a market.  The combination of worry and fury in her normal gentle eyes had him listening.  Even his soft spoken father had taken the same tone of voice.

So deep in his memories and thoughts of growing up, he didn’t hear the creaking of the floor underfoot and the dark head that peaked around the corner.  It would be the hand on his shoulder, the jump and the muffled sound of surprise, dropping the book onto the bare floor.

“Jack?”  Shirou whispered, trying to control his breathing and the racing of his thoughts at being startled by the younger man.  It wasn’t like him to get startled as such.

“Sorry,” Jack whispered back, giving him a little shrug before stepping away from him and closer to the fire, a blanket pulled around his body for warmth, “I didn’t mean to startle you.  I would’ve thought you heard me.”

Biting his lower lip, Shirou swallowed back a question, reaching down to pick up the book that he had dropped.

“Can I ask you something?”  Jack broached, almost hesitant, something Shirou hadn’t thought the teenager wouldn’t be.

Giving Jack a nod, silently telling him to continue.  He should tell Jack that he shouldn’t be afraid to ask him any questions.

“I know you don’t talk much about your family, but what was it like?  Back in your home country?”  Jack paused, gathering his thoughts as though not to offend.

“Why do you stay here?  I mean, this country alone is so huge, but you have the whole world to explore.  You could live anywhere.”

Shirou paused for a moment, seeing the look of curiosity on Jack’s face.  It wasn’t a secret that the boy wanted to see the world beyond Blackwater and the surrounding areas.  The fact that the young man across from him just wanted to explore, not to be stuck here where nothing seemed to happen.

“From what I’ve seen and while it’s not much as to what other’s have seen, there’s just something that draws me here,” Shirou confessed, pulling his legs up to wrap his arms around his knees.

“You mean my father,” the whispered words he wasn’t supposed to hear.  It wasn’t hard to recall the look on Jack’s face when he had found out about his relationship with both John and Abigail.  Twisted as it was, the relationship worked in a way that Shirou could only would continue.

“Well, yeah,” Shirou sighed softly, “during my travels there have been some who were nice enough, I suppose.  But John, he was the only that saw me for me, I guess if I had to explain it.  Offering me a chance when I asked.”  Shirou smiled to himself, worrying the inside of his cheek for a second before looking at the dark haired teen.  “The fact that you, yourself and your mother treat me so swell.”

“The overwhelming feeling of being home, Jack.  That, the feeling of home, I miss it so much,” he tore his gaze away to blink away the tears that started to fill his vision.  “I-” a hitched breath, licking his bottom lip in nervousness.

“I’m not accusing you of anything, Shirou, I’m just surprised is all.  I don’t know what you see in my father,” the teenager shrugged his shoulders, hunching forward as though to hide away from him before staring into the fire.  “You seem to get him to calm down.  A lot.  It’s something that ma’s been wanting-  You’re not trying to break up my family, are you?  They’re finally happy.”

Shirou could feel the heavy words, that heavy gaze of Jack as he watched the play of emotions on his face.

“I would never do anything of the sort.  I would,” Shirou paused, breathing deeply as his heart started to pound, “I would leave.  Pack up and leave this place I consider home before anything like that.  Move on.  Jack, I never-” a shuddering breath, realizing that his body was trembling.  He tried to calm himself down, the biggest of his fears pushing to the front of his mind.

“Your family has been so good to me, I-” he stared down at his hands, his attempt to calm himself down failing.  Toughed skin and built up calluses, tiny scars that dotted the tops of his hands and his fingers.  Skin that is thicker than his emotions, able to deal with the brutal elements and unforgiving sun than him sitting there, crushing under the weight of his conscious and the nearly innocent words from Jack.

He didn’t expect the feel of heavy hands on his shoulders nor the scent that had drawn him in weeks and months ago, drowning his senses.

“You should know better by now,” the rough draw as John leaned over the back of the chair, a hand moving with fingers trailing across his shoulders and up towards his neck.  Sliding up and through his hair.  Glancing towards Jack, his eyes down turned and away, cheeks darkening in color with embarrassment, which seemed to be a constant occurrence since finding out about their “arrangement”.

Shirou hoped that his expression wouldn’t give away what he was feeling.  The want and desire for the older man, fighting the guilt he felt for pushing his way into John and Abigail’s relationship.  He was lucky enough that John let him stay.

“What are you both doing up so late?”

The fingers in his hair, turning his gaze to the floor as heat flooded through him, he didn’t see the look that John sent Jack.  If he were to look up, he would catch the mixture of curiosity and warning, possessiveness that he was just starting to find out about the returner to ancestry.

“The noise,” Shirou confessed, dropping his head and pulling away from John’s touch, wrapping the blanket closer.  The warmth from John’s hand had him swallowing past a lump in his throat.  He wanted nothing more than to crawl between John and Abigail, to be cradled between the couple.  Biting down on his lower lip, Shirou’s imagination took over.

The near silent inhaling of a breath, Shirou peeked through his lashes, seeing Jack’s flush darker as he looked anywhere but in front o him.  A mutter that he didn’t catch, footsteps that carried Jack to the other side of the house.

“Jack’s just curious, but don’t let his words bother you,” John comment, fingers lingering along his neck, rubbing against the one spot that usually would drive him to groan out a sound that resembled John’s name before the older male pulled away.

“Both Abigail and myself enjoy you being here.  Besides, you’re over thinking this, not giving yourself credit,” the buttons of long underwear were slipped from the small holes.  A look in John’s eyes told him enough.  Shirou licked his lower lip, pushing himself out of the chair to follow John.

With his senses on fire, he closed the door softly behind him with a soft click.