Baring your soul shouldn’t be this nerve racking pt 2 of 5

Title: Baring your soul shouldn’t be this nerve racking pt 2 of 5
Rating: Explicit
Series: Baldur’s Gate 3
Characters/Pairings/Couples: Astarion/Everett (Male Tav named, Original Character), Astarion/Tav, Everett, Astarion, Karlach, Gale, Wyll, Jornathan (Original Character reference another Male Tav named), Gale/Jornathan
Part of: Falling into a sea of stars
Beta: No Beta, all mistakes are my own
Summary:  He never thought he’d be confessing his feelings, determined to keep his secret close to his heart.  But here he was, baring his soul to Astarion.  There’s no going back now.
Warnings: Mention/references of self mutilation, slight mention of underage masturbation
Notes: this started off just as an attempt to have some smut between Astarion/Everett and just snowballed from there.  This is also a way to involve Astarion into Everett’s backstory.  It’s stated in the game that Tav is from Baldur’s Gate.  And while that seemed okay, I wanted to have Everett explore.  No place to call home, only the small room that he rented above one of the taverns.  He’s not from Baldur’s Gate, but he’s deeply in love with a traumatized and hurt character, while he himself is flawed.  And would do absolutely anything for him, unhealthy as it is.  After all, Everett has never had a healthy relationship and no one has ever taught him to value himself.  So when he finds happiness with Astarion, he will do anything to protect that happiness and Astarion.

There is a line or two that was inspired by the movie Interstellar, my favorite movie.  And a lot of this was written before I finished the game, before I finished Astarion’s quest.  So Karlach is still alive and Everyone is pairing up.  Shadowheart’s parents live, I wrote that before even finishing her quest and I don’t like how it ends. 

💜

Lost in thought, curious as to who or what watched them, Astarion cared for Everett once he brought them back to camp.  A few quirked eyebrows, a shake of a head the majority of them just rolled their eyes.  So used to their antics, that many of their activities were fodder for gossip and friendly jabbing.  Ducking through the entrance to his personal tent, Astarion stopped himself.  He never brought Everett inside, let alone anyone else, that uncomfortable feeling his chest that twisted and tripped.

The fact that the Tiefling respected his boundaries, giving him choices that normal people would have tried to push to get what they want.  Seeing him through Everett’s eyes, the warmth and those goddamned feelings.  Feelings that were so plain to see now, knowing that the warlock followed him around like a lost puppy dog.  Latched on to him, determination in those fiery blue-gray eyes, an embrace that would remind him of home if he could recall that far.

He couldn’t help the way his chest tightened a bit with how forward Everett had been when confronted.  No games, lies or trickery.  Just that confession being blurted out, twisting up his emotions and sending his thoughts into a spiral.  He had been honest with Everett, unsure of what to call this feeling that grew.  It had been so long since someone showed him kindness without expecting anything from him. 

Everett stirred as he placed him down, leaving only for a moment to grab the bedroll and pillow from the campfire.

“Aren’t you the lucky one,” Karlach teased when she caught him snagging Everett things, though her teasing tone dropped when she caught his expression.  “What’s the matter?  I thought you’d be smug about having some fun, a secret that Everett finally confessed to you.”

“Normally I would be,” he retorted, turning away from the woman.  “this is something I have to figure out,” rolling his shoulders, uncomfortable with admitting, “even if I don’t fully understand.”

Astarion paused, narrowing his eyes at Karlach.  “Secret?  You knew? “

Karlach shrugged her shoulders, used to the standoffish elf.  “Of course I know.  I do speak Infernal, you should have remembered that.  Still, it wouldn’t hurt to let someone know what’s going on,” she said as an olive branch.  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about when it comes to Everett,” she gave a laugh, dropping down onto the ground to enjoy the comfort the fire gave, despite giving off just as much heat as the fire.

“You should have seen him, fretting over you-” Catching his expression, Karlach snorted before waving her hand when he tried to deny it.

“Look, Everett ain’t exactly subtle in his actions, Astarion, nor in his words.   I picked it up when he’d talk to himself.  The fact that Shadowheart figured out that he was in love with you before you is surprising,” Karlach snickered at the widening of red eyes before the vampire looked away.

“But seriously, his feelings are kinda cute, in a weird way.” Karlach gave him a knowing smile.  “I guess he finally confessed to you, yeah?  He seems like the sort that would take off in embarrassment.  Despite all that, he appears to be firm in his feelings.”

The woman paused, turning her attention away from him to stare into the fire.  “I think you should get to know him. Maybe he’ll give you the love you desperately deserve.  Get to know him a bit, hmm?”

Astarion got the feeling Karlach wasn’t really talking about him and Everett, more like lost in her own memories.  He would have said something if not for the far off look in her eyes before he gave a nod.  With the bedroll and pillow in his bands, quietly returning back to his personal tent.  He wasn’t really surprised to see the Tiefling awake and sitting up.  Clothes that he had tried and failed to put back on Everett were sitting in the male’s lap.  Color dusted cheeks before Astarion gave a little laugh, feeling a little more at ease as he unrolled the fabric.  Using the bedroll to cover up what clothes didn’t, he took a seat next to Everett and awkwardly handed his lover the pillow.

“I take it that you heard what Karlach said,” Astarion guessed, a little happy to see Everett nod his head, color dusting gray cheeks that reached pointed ears.

“Yeah,” Everett admitted, peeking up at him through his bangs.  An expression of uncertainty and hope mixed together that crossed Everett’s face.  Hiding a smile as the Tiefling moved over, giving him room to sit next to him.  He couldn’t stop the sound of content that escaped, hoping it was quiet enough not to be noticed.  Astarion took Everett on the offer and sat next to him.  The way a shoulder knocked against his, the quickening of breathing and pulse jumping.  How could he not have seen this before?

“What Karlach said, was that true?”  He asked, looking over to Everett.  He expected Everett to deny it, that everything was just a lie, messing with him.  To look away and just shake his head.  “This whole time when you would speak to me in Infernal, it was a confession?”

But no, the set of a jaw and a nod.  Horns that he teased and touched, finding it hard to resist reaching out to touch them once more.  

“It is,” a deep breath as shoulders hunched, curling in on themselves.  “It should feel good that you know now.  And it does.  But that was a little secret I kept to myself- until earlier, that is,” Everett added, giving him a fragile smile that seemed to be on the verge of breaking.  “It was easier to confess to you in a language you don’t know.”

A tilt of a head a little when Everett caught his hands reaching for his horns.

“Just the tip, I-” a swallow and the nervous laugh that he had grown fond of. “I don’t think I can take another round of teasing like that so soon,” a huff of breath.

“I don’t think I ever came so hard in my life,” Everett admitted with a more confident voice.  Freckled cheeks darkening, the blush reaching the Tiefling’s ears even further.

“I never knew horns could be that sensitive,” he observed, bringing his finger a little further to see shoulders tense before dropping his hand away.  “Are they normally like that?”

The nod of a head, a peek at him before Everett reached out a hand, hesitating before asking; “Can I touch you?”

It still tripped him at how respectful the male was towards him.  Giving him the option to choose, the confession and what Karlach had told him led him down a path of uncertainty and hope.  Never had he thought he would get a declaration of love, he didn’t deserve such adoration.

“Yes,” an answer, keeping his gaze on Everett’s face as the man reached for his hand.  Fingers curling around his, Everett turning to face him.  “Sorry, it’s easier to see you,” a sheepish look as Everett held his hand.

“These hands, they’re so strong and can easily kill.  Yet, they can be gentle, like you, Astarion.”

“If you believe that, Everett, then you’re awfully naive,” he bristled, pulling his hand away.  Unable to quash the disappointment when the other let his hand go. Catching the hurt look in Everett’s eyes, flitting away quickly enough that he wasn’t exactly sure if was there in the first place.  That simple smile that the Tiefling wore was back, hiding everything behind a mask, just like him.

“I guess I can be naive, but I still hold that in my heart.  You don’t hurt me, physically, unless I ask for it,” the blush was back, the tip of Everett’s tail twitched as it swayed slowly back and forth.  “I’m sure you have questions.  You can ask them and I’ll try to answer them.”

“You’ll try to answer them?  Why not just answer them?”  He asked, withholding judgment for the poor word choices.

“I can answer them, it’s just up to you to believe me,” Everett answered looking at him.  “You shared a lot of your past.  You trusted me enough not to judge you and I don’t.  Fuck, if I could, I would go back in time and-”  Everett dropped his gaze down, digging his nails into the fabric of the bedroll.

“What would you do?”  Astarion found himself asking, curious to know.  Like he hadn’t thought about this a million times before, wishing he had a way to break free from Cazador.

“I would stop the group that attacked you that night,” Everett answered, taking a deep breath and shuddering when he released it.  “I would have killed them and gone after that goddamned vampire that made your life a living hell.” Shoulders dropped at the admission as Everett’s voice became a near whisper before the male looked up at him.  In those fiery blue-gray eyes he could see tears that built up, the back of a hand rubbing them away before they fell.

“Astarion, I thought that if you died while fighting Cazador or-” a swallow before continuing “the Netherbrain.  I would have found a way to tear the fabric of reality apart just to get you back.”

“A weird compliment, I’m sure.  But that doesn’t fully explain what you mean.”

“I would have broken every rule the gods have placed in and on Faerûn, in these forgotten realms, just to bring you back.”  Everett paused, seeing the confusion on Astarion’s face before explaining.  “I heard there is a spell, locked up in Candlekeep that would allow me to go back in time.”

Astarion paused, first the declaration of love and now this.

“I would have done anything, Astarion.  Anything.  If I went through time, I would have enslaved myself to my patron to use their power, contract be damned.  My soul would have been theirs to use if it meant I could be with you again.

“I don’t know if I should be impressed or worried,” Astarion commented, seeing the way Everett wasn’t joking.  With his jaw set and eyes narrowed.  The words reminded him of the power he could have had if he had finished the ritual instead of killing Cazador.  Almost unhinged, unhealthy and desperate.

“Fuck,” Everett sniffed, finally admitting to his fears.  “I was so scared.  Scared that I never got to tell you.  Scared that I would never get to feel you again, Astarion.  Scared that I would lose you forever.” 

“I wish I still had that damned worm in my head so I could show you,” the Tiefling tried to joke, though after everything they went through, it fell flat.  A moment of silence before Everett started rummaging through his pockets to pull out a scroll, handing it to him with a look of sincerity on his face.

“When I looted this off of Raphael, back in the house of hope, I thought it was just for detecting thoughts.  But it’s not,” Everett held it out the scroll for him, offering him the chance.  Not forcing nor doing it out of fear.  “It’s more than that.”

If Everett were anyone else, Astarion would have thought of this as a trap.  Lure him in and trap him into another prison of hell.  But this was Everett, the only one that didn’t give up on him.  He fought Cazador for him.  Not by himself, but still.  Been there to feed and keep him fucking sane.

Hesitantly reaching for the scroll, hissing at the power that came from the parchment.  “It burns just to hold it,” nearly dropping the scroll, Astarion took a deep breath and opened the parchment.  Looking over the edge of the scroll, seeing Everett straighten his posture and give a sharp nod.  It didn’t take a scholar to know that what he held would give him a glimpse into Everett’s mind.

As he read the words, keeping the Tiefling in the forefront of his mind, eyes scanning the scroll. The last word left his lips, racing through Everett’s memories.  Warmth surrounded him as he settled, watching as quickly as he could.  Everett’s memories he couldn’t sort, couldn’t decipher in what order they were.  Inside the Tiefling’s mind he couldn’t hear anything but a steady heartbeat.  Heavy, over and over and over again, racing and slowing down.  Fear tingled from his fingertips as a book opened, an invisible hand leafing through the pages, slowly before landing on the section that had Everett’s name inscribed at the top.

Ink slowly appeared on the pages, written in a language that forced him to turn his eyes away only to see a younger version of Everett standing there.  No scars, nor tattoos.  Innocent to the world and himself.

“What was that?”  He found himself asking the child.

“He wanted you to know,” the child offered, reaching for his hand and froze before looking up at him, withdrawing and giving him the space.  Respectful, like his adult self.

“I can see why he likes you,” the nod, as though the young boy was talking to himself.  “Take care of him, will you?  He’s bound and determined to go through hell just to prove himself.  To protect you, even at the cost of himself.”

Astarion paused, it was a little different hearing from the younger Everett than the man at his current age.

“Did someone protect you?”  Astarion found himself asking the boy, knowing his answer when he saw the big smile.

“Yeah!  Axaros!”  Excitement that only children seemed to have shone through in his words.

“And who is that, exactly?”

“He was so nice to me.  He talked to me like I was someone who mattered,” young Everett looked away, it didn’t take an idiot to figure out what the child was saying.  “He’s what I think a father would be like,” a soft smile sent to him, a secret the little tiefling wanted to reveal.  “You’re here for answers, aren’t you?  Go ahead, you don’t have much time.”

“Why?” Astarion asked, kneeling down to look the child in the eyes.  Blue-gray flames that held the same kindness that his lover had.  He didn’t need to elaborate his question as the child knew what exactly he was asking.

“Love.  Love is a powerful force, it transcends time and dimensions as well as realities.  Love is something we can trust and while we may not understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  It doesn’t mean we’re wrong.  And he- we love you.”

A simple answer, he could easily recall when Everett held him, brought him closer while he raged.  Why couldn’t he have met the Tiefling when he was newly turned?  Why couldn’t he have been saved from the hell of Cazador?  His ached, wanting to know the possibilities.

“He mentioned that if I had died, he would have done the impossible,” Astarion tried broaching the subject, seeing the look of concern as young Everett nodded, fidgeting where he stood.

“Yes, he- we would.  We would have found a way to tear apart the fabric of time if it meant being with you.  Would defy the gods just to be there,” a sad smile crossed the boy’s face.  “We have never felt like this before, so this- you, are the most important person to us.”

“In his bag is the book that led us to the patron that chose us.”  A deep breath that came out shuddering, a look of fear that crossed the boy’s face.

“Normally patrons don’t choose someone so young,” he commented.  “How young?”

“When I found out?  I think I was seven or eight, when Axaros caught me reading in Candlekeep.  Fourteen when I agreed to what my patron was asking of me.  You can ask him, Astarion.”   Everett paused, Astarion felt as though the child was reading his soul, that the child knew of his thoughts.  A step forward, then another.  “May I touch you?”

He should say no, ask the damned question and leave this place.  Still, he couldn’t deny the child’s request. He nodded, expecting his hand to be grabbed like any child would normally do.  Instead, his head was cradled against the small chest.

Where one would normally hear the rhythmic beating of a heart, it was silence.

“You suffered so much, Astarion,” words in his mind, hands cradling the back of his head.  “Suffered all by yourself.  What you’re asking for, he will do it.  If it’ll make you happy, he will do whatever it takes.  Just know that if he does this, taking this risk, our patron will require your help as well.”

Hands drifted away from the back of his head as the boy stepped back.

“Things are a lot more than what they seem, Astarion,” the faint press of lips against his forehead, a briefest of a kiss before young Everett disappeared.  Back in his own mind, his body and camp.  Hands that held his and the worry of Everett’s face.

“Are you alright?”

He could still feel the child’s lips on his forehead, the spark of memory that the child shared with him.  Showing the devotion that Everett had for him, the love that filled him up.  Images that the male had thought up before they slept together, had gotten off to.  Some he hadn’t even thought about.  He was sure that this was something Everett didn’t know was being shared.

“I’m fine,” he paused, leaning in to rest his forehead against Everett’s shoulder.  Taking in that familiar scent of the Tiefling, he let his eyes close.  “Can I just stay here, like this?” Astarion mumbled, ready to just close his eyes and let sleep claim him.

The turn of a head, lips pressed against his forehead in a kiss before Everett laid down, pulling him along and across his chest.

Baring your soul shouldn’t be this nerve racking pt 1 of 5

Title: Baring your soul shouldn’t be this nerve racking pt 1 of 5
Rating: Explicit
Series: Baldur’s Gate 3
Characters/Pairings/Couples: Astarion/Everett (Male Tav named, Original Character), Astarion/Tav, Everett, Astarion, Karlach, Gale, Wyll, Jornathan (Original Character reference another Male Tav named), Gale/Jornathan
Part of: Falling into a sea of stars
Beta: No Beta, all mistakes are my own
Summary:  He never thought he’d be confessing his feelings, determined to keep his secret close to his heart.  But here he was, baring his soul to Astarion.  There’s no going back now.
Warnings: Mention/references of self mutilation, slight mention of underage masturbation
Notes: this started off just as an attempt to have some smut between Astarion/Everett and just snowballed from there.  This is also a way to involve Astarion into Everett’s backstory.  It’s stated in the game that Tav is from Baldur’s Gate.  And while that seemed okay, I wanted to have Everett explore.  No place to call home, only the small room that he rented above one of the taverns.  He’s not from Baldur’s Gate, but he’s deeply in love with a traumatized and hurt character, while he himself is flawed.  And would do absolutely anything for him, unhealthy as it is.  After all, Everett has never had a healthy relationship and no one has ever taught him to value himself.  So when he finds happiness with Astarion, he will do anything to protect that happiness and Astarion.

There is a line or two that was inspired by the movie Interstellar, my favorite movie (in the second part).  And a lot of this was written before I finished the game, before I finished Astarion’s quest.  So Karlach is still alive and Everyone is pairing up.  Shadowheart’s parents live, I wrote that before even finishing her quest and I don’t like how it ends. 

💜

His sharp fingernails dug into the bark of the tree as he failed to suppress the shudder.  Pushing his cheek against the tree, panting out Astarion’s name as he tried not to push back against the man’s face.  That sharp tongue that would bring a person to their knees; be with wit, scorn or desire was wreaking havoc on his body.  Nails digging into his skin, massaging his ass while  that talented tongue of his licked and slipped further inside, teasing his sensitive hole.

“Ahh,” Everett panted, rubbing against the bark as he bit down on his bottom lip.  “Sh-shit, Astēr,” he tried to swallow down a high pitch whine as his lover pulled away, giving his hole a lick before rubbing fingertips against him.

“Language, Darling,” the purr from Astarion as he slipped a finger inside, searching for the spot that had his whole body trembling, legs awakening.  “Besides, I haven’t done anything to you yet,” words curled and fell off that talented tongue.  Everett couldn’t see behind himself yet he knew that damned elf had a smug look on his face.  Corners of those lips that would twitch and curl, feeling a throb of his body and grinned, sending  whispered words of prayers that would be welcomed.  His patron was watching, this secret he kept to himself.  Astarion still had his secrets and so did he, his lover had no clue that his patron liked to watch.

“C’mon, don’t be such a tease, Astēr,” Everett licked at his upper lip as he tried to get those fingers further inside himself.  “If not your fingers, then your dick,” a beg as he felt his own flesh throb, wanting nothing more than to be cupped by his lover’s hand.  Fuck, pretty soon he’d have to do it himself.

“How crude, Everett,” a tsk sound as teeth nibbled at the skin of his ass.  “You don’t know how you look right now.  With two of my fingers inside you, watching as your body tries to pull me in deeper.  But here,” fingertips found that spot inside him, pressing just to hear him cry out.  “Here shows how much you want it, you should enjoy it, Everett.” Another press of fingertips, he struggled to not fall onto the forest floor as pleasure raced up his spine.

“You’re glowing again,” a comment that had him jerking his head up to look over his shoulder to get some sort of peak.  There it was, a glow from the underside of his tail.

Shit.

“That must mean I’m doing something right,” the hum, slowly working two fingers around.  Another brush, enjoying the way his body jerked as it took more concentration to not whisper and mouth the prayers that would give him more strength, not that his patron would complain.  “I wish you could see yourself.  The way your body clings to my fingers and how it slowly opens up for me.  To cradle and welcome me inside.  Tell me, Everett,” he felt the movement as Astarion stood up.  Fabric rustling, he caught sight of the man pushing his pants down just enough to free that hard flesh he wanted inside him.

“What do you think about when I’m doing this to you?” Fingertips against his stretched hole, dipping inside and out gently.  For all his harsh words and strength, Astarion was gentle with his hands.  No matter how cruel he got, the vampire made sure not to hurt him. 

Unless he asked for it.

“You,” Everett admitted, heat rushing to his cheeks as he pushed back.  “I think about you so fucking much,” the confession he let slip letting the elf see a side of himself he tried to hide.  “Fuck, you don’t know how much you turn me on, Astarion.  It’s hard enough to hold myself back after battle, to see how excited you get after all the chaos.”

Astarion’s fingers slowed to a stop, forcing Everett to still himself.  A deep breath, he didn’t want to move, nor did he want to stop.  He’d normally kept his secrets close, just like the vampire kept his secrets close with false flattery.  A sprinkling of flirting that he knew wasn’t true, that he was being used. 

And he didn’t care.

No, that was a lie.  He cares.  He cares so damn much.  He fell for Astarion hard.  Heart pounding heavy in his chest, disappointment filling him.  He fucked this up, just like always.

“Is that… true?  Normally one would think of their own pleasure.  Pretend to be somewhere else,  or-,” a huff of a breath as Astarion leaned down against his back. “Something I don’t want to relive.”

Everett could feel those lips against the ridges of his back, a peck or two.  The scrape of teeth against his skin, he hung his head before nodding.  A night of barring his soul.

“It’s true-”

Gasping as he felt the blunt head of Astarion’s cock against his hole.  Just a nudge and the vampire would be inside of him.  Trying to move backwards, push back against and scratch that itch that always rears its head up when he watches Astarion.  He was falling hard and fast, knowing he could- no, not could.  He was setting himself up for heartbreak.  He wasn’t a fool, he knew Astarion was just using him.  He just-

“Such a shame,” the sigh from the vampire, hands holding his hips to stop any movements.  “You wear your heart on your sleeve, it makes me want to toy with you.”

A rub against him, Everett felt his heart sink as Astarion pushed inside.  Lovesick and desperate, willing to do whatever it took to make the elf think of him differently.  To keep him safe, even if it directly caused himself harm.

“Hmm, you stopped glowing,” it was rare to hear such disappointment in Astarion’s voice.  “I wonder why, it’s rather nice to see that glow.  What does it mean?”

Heart skipping a beat, he shouldn’t be mad at the man that he had gotten his hopes and expectations up.  There had been no promises uttered between them other than the pleasure they both shared.  Quietly chastising himself, giving himself a little wiggle to force Astarion deeper inside his body.

Humming in satisfaction, pulling himself up a little on the tree and widening his stance.

“It means I’m enjoying it,” and he was.  Enjoying the way that hard dick inside him felt, the intimacy that he imagined and wished so much for it to be true

“Then why, why did you stop glowing?”  For the first time since Astarion mentioned his past, he heard uncertainty in his normally confident words.  “Are you not enjoying this?”

Head jerking up, Everett would have pulled away if not for the grip on his hips tightening.  Sharp nails now biting into his skin, he couldn’t turn around to see the expression on his lover’s face.

“I’m enjoying this, really and truly, I am-”

“You’re lying,” venom slipping into normally honey words.

“I’m not!”

“You are.  I thought we had-”

Everett gathered his courage, it was now sink or swim.  The worst he could do is have his heart broken, getting dumped by the one he was in love with.  Licking at his bottom lip, he spoke the words he had learned to hide from everyone.  What does a Tiefling even know about love?

“Xe ip ul dajy suzm haf!” He slipped back to the infernal language, scared that he had just fucked this up.  It would be just like him to mess up a love confession like this.

“I don’t understand Infernal!  Astarion argued back, frustration laced his voice while his grip refused to slack.

“I am in love with you!”

“Love?”

Heart pounding now, mouth dry as he tried to pull away.  Sharp pain was dulling as the vampire refused to let go.  He wasn’t ready.  He shouldn’t have gotten lost in his thoughts, this was his fault.

“Yes,” he whispered as he hung his head.  “You won’t believe me, Astarion, I know you won’t.  You use those pretty words when you lie and I swallow it all up because it allows me to be close,” behind his tightly closed eyes he could only imagine the look of indifference or cruelty that Astarion would wear.  “I offer myself every day so you can have that strength to fight on because I want you to be happy.”

Everett took a moment, feeling his strength fleeing quickly as he parted his lips in a prayer to his patron.  Words that he offered up, silent and not meant for ears but himself in the hopes his patron will grant him the strength he needed.  A tingling sensation ran through his body, he gave a silent thanks.  Taking a deep breath, feeling as though a lump grew in his throat, opening his eyes to the darkness that surrounded them.

“Patron bless me, I do, Astarion.  As you said, I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to you.  I’m a lovesick fool who would do whatever he can to be with you,” Everett swallowed and took a deep breath, ready to bare his soul to Astarion. Why was he so scared? 

“I am in love with you, so fucking much.”

Movement stilled, the grip on his hips slackened just a bit in shock.  Over the heavy beating of his heart he could swear he heard his name falling off those sweet lips.

“Then, what about the glowing?”

That…wasn’t what he was expecting.  It was rare enough that he glowed with someone he slept with.  All the years he lived, memories of lives that passed, he couldn’t remember how connected he was with his heart.  Lovers that he had, people that he slept with, no one has ever made his mark glow bright before.  He was lucky that he got a brief glow at all with a few that made his heart lurch.  But hell, when was the last time he had fallen so hard for someone?  Has he ever felt this type of happiness?  Ever?  It hadn’t been in this life, one or two, not even close to love.  Never like this.

“That’s the mark my patron placed on me after I agreed to the contract, the next morning.  The brighter it gets, the more I’m enjoying it, the more connected I feel with you.  Because of my feelings for you, it glows more.  Stronger.”

A sound of understanding, wanting nothing more than to believe the elf understood.

Silence between them, his breathing still erratic.

“Whenever I speak infernal to you, I  confess to you about how much I love you.”

“Then why did you stop glowing?  That was rather rude.”

“Because everything is just one sided,” Everett wished he could just shut himself up but he kept on going.  “I tricked myself into thinking you liked me like that, when you actually don’t.”

“Let me get this straight.  You think I don’t like you?”

Everett nodded his head, resting his head back against the tree.

“Darling, if I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have had my tongue up your ass.  You really are sensitive, I was only teasing.  You should know that I feel the same for you as well.”

Heart racing at the words, his face heating up and the glow was back.  Brighter still, he could see his shadow with how bright it got.  Feeling his body trembling, more of the tingling sensation as his patron gave him more.  Briefly wondering if his patron could actually feel the emotions coursing through him instead of just the pleasure.

“My little glow bug,” affection coated his lover’s voice.  “Let’s talk about that later.  Right now, enjoy the pleasure.”

Weight against his back, hands releasing their grip on his hips to slide upward to his chest.  Dragging nails against his skin, Astarion nuzzled his nose into his neck.  Deep breaths that were puffed out, teasing licks at his skin before those fangs found purchase in his neck.  Groans that escaped with as Astarion fucked into him, drinking his fill.

“It’s exquisite,” a moan as the vampire released his hold on his neck to drop his head against Everett’s shoulder.  “To- ah, to know I cause that much-”

Dropping one of his hands, he worked his wrist, stroking his cock in rhythm to Astarion’s thrusts.  Heart beating so hard, feeling as though it would burst from his chest.  This felt better than his first time with the vampire, felt better than anything he ever had.  Fingers grabbing, turning and tilting his head, his bitten lips kissed.  With the taste of iron in Astarion’s mouth, that wicked feeling that grew in the pit of his stomach.  Curling and twisting, tingling and tremors, his patron feeding off what he offered.

“Come for me, let me see what you got,” words hissed against his mouth.

“Ah- As-” Everett tried to say, tried to call out as the man swallowed his words as he came, cum staining his fingers as trembled.  Nerves alight with pleasure, feeling as though he’d break into a million pieces.

A groan that could have been his name as Astarion dropped his head against his shoulder.  The rush of warmth in his body as his lover came deep inside him, welcoming the way hands gripped at his chest.  Chest heaving under those talented hands, Everett welcomed the weight of Astarion against his back.

“I wonder about your horns,” a sigh into his skin.  Lips tasting the sweat that dotted his freckled covered shoulders before reluctantly pulling back.  “Are they sensitive?”

Normally a Tiefling wouldn’t allow anyone to touch their horns.  To even allow someone to touch was a sign of complete trust, knowing that they were putting their lives in their partner’s hands. Swallowing, he nodded.  A deep breath, ignoring the cum drying on his hand, Everett tilted his head back enough so Astarion could reach.  Barely feeling the touch at the tip, fingers tracing the lines and ridges. The closer those fingers got to the base the more he felt until the wash of pleasure had his knees knocking.  Fighting to keep himself on his feet, huffing out a sound as his blood thrummed and raced through his veins.

“Astarion,” he panted, trying to get more of the elf’s touch.  “Pl-”  mouth moving, no longer able to form words.

A sound amusement, just brief enough before those restless fingers slowed to just a rub against the base and his skin.  Whispers of words, encouragement that left his heart tripping as it raced.  Feeling as though he had butterflies in his stomach, arching into Astarion’s touch.

“So responsive,” a hushed voice as fingers abandoned his horn to tilt his head once more.  Catching a glint in those red eyes, a smile on lips he couldn’t resist before closing his eyes as a hand wrapped around his dick.  “Just touching your horns got you this hard,” if he was in the right mind, he would have noticed the wonder in Astarion’s voice.  “Coming even more, look at you, so sloppy.  You’re dripping all over my hand.  And you haven’t stopped glowing, you must really like having your horns played with.”  Hips bucking up into Astarion’s hand, voice hoarse as he tried to form what he wanted.

“Come for me, Everett.  Let me see you.”

The sharp hiss into his ears, fingers fighting as his lover twisted his wrist just right.  A sound that clearly was Astarion’s name if anyone were to strain to hear it.

It took Astarion by surprise when the Tiefling collapsed, unable to keep himself up on his feet.  Even surprising himself by grabbing Everett before he fell to the ground.  Hands placed over Everett’s chest, warmth over that thundering heart.  Ridges that he enjoyed tracing with his tongue seemed just a little less sharp.

When the hair on the back of his neck prickled, pulling Everett close before looking around.  It felt as though they were being watched by something that wasn’t there, a feeling he didn’t quite enjoy.

That scent of yours goes to my head

Title:  That scent of yours goes to my head
Rating: mature to Explicit
Series: Baldur’s Gate 3
Characters/Pairings/Couples: Everett (Male Tav named, Original Character), Astarion, Astarion/Everett, Astarion/Male Tav
Part of: Falling into a sea of stars
Beta: No Beta, all mistakes are my own
Summary: He knows he smells, he can smell himself.  And he finally has a chance to bathe, hopefully uninterrupted.  It does not go as planned
Warnings: blood drinking, Masturbation, just an attempt at smut. 
Notes: I said I was trying not to write Astarion sexual and here I am, doing what I meant not to do.  This is set after Everett learns about Astarion being a vampire but before the Tiefling party.  He’s falling and he’s falling fast.  This was supposed to be a drabble, based on the word Scent.

💜

He could have ignored the looks others had been sending him and knew.  It wasn’t his fault that they’d been trekking across Faerûn with no preparation.  After all, being abducted and forced to carry a tadpole in your brain, the last thing you’d be thinking about would be washing.  He, at the time, gave himself a sniff and knew he smelled.  Knew that his scent was the reason why everyone was giving him a wide berth.

Sighing under his breath, Everett fished out the soap he found while rummaging through an abandoned home as well as a clean rag and towel.  Taking a deep breath, ignoring his scent, Everett squared his shoulders.  He could do this.  Walking quickly, hoping no one would notice and comment.

Or join.

He swallowed, maybe one person could join.  Or all.  He didn’t know them well, not yet, but it never hurt to look and imagine what it would feel like to have their arms wrapped around him.  To make his heart pound heavy in his chest when he thought that one of them-  who was he kidding?  Just one of them to treat him like a lover and not something to be ashamed of-

“Well, it seems as though you had the same idea as I,” the drawl of the voice that he heard in his dreams.  Dreams that he’d wake up and take care of himself rather quickly, quietly while biting his bottom lip as not to say the elf’s name when he came.  “Not that I’m complaining about the smell,” a sniff in his direction.  Red eyes that landed on his neck, the same spot he had allowed Astarion to bite just a few nights prior.  Everett could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand, enjoying the attention even if the man didn’t see him, but his blood.  The protection he offered.  He wasn’t the fool Astarion took him for, seeing the way the man hid behind pretty words and beautiful lies.  And though he knew, he couldn’t help but be drawn to him.

Everett gave an awkward laugh, the ache in his chest growing just a little more.  “Sorry about that, I know the scent isn’t pleasant.  At least there’s some time to wash,” keeping his gaze forward, hoping that Astarion wouldn’t pick up on his nervousness.  Heart in his throat, Everett tried to peek out from the corner of his eye.

“Your scent, Astarion, is rather pleasant.”

“Now you’re just lying,” the bored tone from the vampire had him stopping in his tracks, catching the hurt that lay beneath.  “I usually don’t care about lying, everyone does it.  But about my scent?  Do you take me for a fool?”

“I’m not lying.  To me, your scent reminds me of books, long forgotten by everyone but the few who care to read them.  Of a garden that needs extra attention to bring back the nutrients.  Is it the best smelling thing in the world?  No, but to me, it reminds me of what a home could be.”  Tearing his attention away to the path ahead, kicking himself for sounding so sentimental.

“It’s a scent I would like to smell again,” Everett admitted, feeling like a fool as those words left his lips.  “Underneath the faint perfume you wear is a scent I like, Astarion.”

“Oh,” a single word from the pale elf, he forced himself to continue onward with his head high.  They walked in silence, he lost in his thoughts while Astarion looked as though he was lost in thought as well.  Crouching at the small, sandy bank, Everett tested the warmth of the running water.  He couldn’t sit and relax, to enjoy the bath and soak away the ache.  With water that cold, it would be better to quickly wash than to freeze.

“Have you ever worked in a garden?”  The voice behind him asked, he looked over his shoulder at Astarion.  Giving the man a shrug, turning his attention back to the water.

“Something like that, it was more like a small farm, outside of Elturel.”

A skeptical look on the vampire’s face, it hadn’t been that long since Elturel fell into Avernus.  The man didn’t believe him, so he didn’t blame him.  The amount of Tiefling refugees they encountered, the horror stories of those who escaped told the tale.

“Before it fell, quite a while ago,” turning back to the water to dip his hand in once more before rising.  Pulling his shirt up and off, careful of his horns.  Folding and setting it off to the side, along with his shoes.  Keep his gaze down to give Astarion the privacy that he deserved, making quick work of his trousers.  Folding once more, placing them alongside his shirt and shoes.  Underwear having been long gone, having sold them for a little gold when he struggled.

Grabbing the soap and one of the rags, he made no mention of the sound Astarion made, stepping into the cool water.  Further in, ignoring the sharp pricks of pain from the rocks as the water crawled up to his knees then hip high as he waded further in.  Rag and soap in hand, Everett gritted his teeth and knelt down into the water.  The chill had him lathering up the soap and rag quickly, wishing for a blazing hot day to warm up in.

“What I wouldn’t give for hot water,” Astarion sighed as he followed, looking over at the rag and soap.  Quirking an eyebrow, the predatory gaze on him.  Everett swallowed, hoping that the cold water would help stop the heating of his blood, keeping his eyes on Astarion’s face.

“I don’t have any fireball spells, unlike you,” Everett uttered, giving in and handing the rag and soap to the man.  Fingertips against his, holding his breath as Astarion gave a hesitant nod, confusion on his face.  Ducking his head under the running water, wishing for things he didn’t know he wanted.  Curious as to why the vampire followed him, the looks sent his way and the obvious lies told through a too perfect smile.  Heart hammering in his throat, breaking through the surface of the water to take a deep breath of air.

“Thank you,” hesitant words that Astarion didn’t want to say, as though he had been waiting for him to surface.  The fight of emotions on the elf’s face told him as much.  “It’s rather nice to hear such words when others tell me I smell of death.”

Everett hummed out a sound, hiding the fact such words would bring him a little joy.  A moment of silence, he cleared his throat while trying not to watch Astarion wash himself.

“It’s just,” he swallowed as he felt heat rushing up to his cheeks, despite the cold water that raced around him.  It was only fair to share information about himself since Astarion shared some of his.  “It’s a smell that reminds me of a time where someone actually cared about me,” Everett admitted.  “So when I say I like the scent, Astarion, I mean it.”

Unable to stop the shivering, Everett pushed himself up.

“Don’t tell me you’re done already, I can still smell you.”

A snort at the words, rolling his eyes at the elf.  “Well, I’m cold and I don’t think I can take much of it any longer,” Everett sighed out more to himself and not to Astarion.  “I can’t stand the cold any more and if I smell, then,” Everett swallowed and gave his head a shake before putting on a smile he didn’t feel. 

“Look, didn’t I say I don’t find your scent unpleasant?  I do.  I like it, by the way.”

Everett froze, his mind whirling with what Astarion told him.

‘Don’t get your hopes up,’ he told himself, even as his heart started to race.  The chill on his skin did nothing to fight back the blush he could feel climbing up his cheeks.  He told himself not to read too much, that the vampire was lying.  Didn’t everyone lie about things like this?

“Thank you,” his voice squeaked out, ducking his head in embarrassment at the laugh that Astarion gave.

“Since you seem to be self conscious,” the soap and rag being held out to him, the same way that he had held out to the vampire.  “That’s the strange thing about you, you know?  Your decisions in battle seem to be precise, no second guessing.  But when you’re alone?”  He could hear the change in Astarion’s tone, red eyes that flicked down to where his hard flesh had been growing.  The cold water did little to stop him from getting turned on.

“It makes me wonder, what do you like?  I’ve seen the way you look at me,” behind the flirty words and tone, he caught the flicker of something in Astarion’s red eyes.  Unable to read the man’s expression, Everett knew he would be a fool to fall for those words.  And he was that type of fool to answer truthfully.  Instead, Everett took the soap and rag.

“There’s a lot of things I like,” he kept his gaze down, knowing if he were to look at Astarion his secrets would be laid bare for the world to see.  As though the man could easily read his mind and just know.

“No need to be coy,” the splash of water as the elf moved closer.  A hand on his shoulder, the press of a chest against his back had Everett hitching his breath.  “I’ve seen the way you react to me.  See?” Words whispered in his ear, a hand sliding along his chest to rest above his heart.  “Your heart is pounding so hard and your pulse,” the brush of lips against his neck where Astarion had bitten him multiple times, “is jumping for me.”

“There’s no need to lie to me,” a hiss of words against his skin.  “Show me,” the lick against his ear, Everett couldn’t stop his hand that dropped the soap and rag into the water.  Uncaring that they were swept away by the current, his hands moved down.  Encircling around himself.  He could hear a question Astarion asked, unable to make out what the man asked.  Was it about blood? Fighting against himself to look over his shoulder, the words Astarion had uttered seemed to have power over him.

More words spoken, was it the same question?  His blood pounding heavily in his ears, drowning out everything Astarion had said.

Fingers trailing along his neck, lifting his head up and parting his lips just to dip inside.  His teeth scraping against the digits  He didn’t know, could only gasp out a strangled “Yes” around those fingers.  A sound of approval from Astarion, those fingers slipping out of his mouth as lips trailed along his neck.  Teeth scraping where the man first bit him, his breath hissed out as those fangs found purchase.  The chill in his skin subsided and yet his blood still thrummed in his veins as he moved his hand.  Behind closed eyes he imagined the vampire doing this to him, not his hand.  Words of want that would be whispered in his ear, praise and words of affection he heard others use to their partners.  A gentle touch that would call to him, a hope he held onto that he could find someone.

How long had he dreamt of something like this?  Right now, it didn’t matter.  Nothing mattered as he caught the sounds Astarion was making, the groans that matched with the way the elf’s hand was pressing into his chest.  The grip on his neck lessened, gasps of breath that held the scent of iron as the man leaned into him.

Not a word from the man as he jerked himself off, he couldn’t  stop himself from crying out Astarion’s name as he came spilling over his hand and into the cold water.  Cheeks heated up as he realized that not only did Astarion know he got himself off, but the chuckle he heard from the man topped off his embarrassment.

“That was a show,” Astarion hummed, dropping his hand down from where it had been pressing against his chest to his hand, lifting it up to see the cum that still clung to his fingers.  “See?  You could have just told me the truth, getting off to the sound of my voice.  Who knew you had it in you?”

The tsk sound from Astarion, laced with something he couldn’t put his finger on.

“You made a mess of yourself,” the low chuckle.  “There’s more to you than what you show the world.”

As Astarion stepped back, Everett held back the sound of disappointment.  The chill rushed back through him, reminding him where they were and how he just humiliated himself.  All for the feeling of his chest tightening, emotions that he couldn’t name.

“Yeah,” he agreed as he tried not to show his disappointment in himself.  Reaching down to the running water to rinse off his hand, he wished he had the forethought to toss the soap and rag to the shore.  “Guess I’ll be smelling soon enough,” Everett sighed, ignoring the way his stomach twisted as he splashed water to wash away lingering cum that lingered across his skin.

“Don’t worry about it,” Astarion dismissed his words as he made his way back to the river bank.  “You should believe in what people say, Everett.”

The purr of words over a shoulder, and gods did he want to peek and take a look at the elf.  Take in his fill to help him get off the next time he wakes up hard and aching.  Instead, he kept his gaze away, afraid he’d see the vampire laughing at him.  If he had looked up he would have caught the way Astarion hesitated for a moment.  Just a flicker of uncertainty that crossed his face, the gaze that slid away from him to the clothing he had folded and placed aside.  The way the man hesitated, wanting to say something.

Everett would have seen this all if he had taken the chance to look up.  Instead, he gave Astarion his privacy the man deserved.  And gave himself more confusion as his stomach twisted, his heart skipping several beats.  Taking a shuddering breath, glancing through his lashes to see that Astarion had left, wondering why he felt such disappointment.  Why was his hand shaking and body trembling?  What was with this rush of emotions?

Oh gods, what has he gotten himself into?

An intimate display meant for one

Title:  An intimate display meant for one
Rating: Explicit
Series: Baldur’s Gate 3
Characters/Pairings/Couples: Everett (Male Tav named, Original Character), Astarion, Astarion/Everett, Astarion/Tav, Karlach
Part of: Falling into a sea of stars
Beta: No Beta, all mistakes are my own
Summary: Karlach just wanted to see if Lae’zel would let her borrow her whetstone to sharpen her Greataxe.  Instead, she witnesses a display that would normally be reserved for the bedroom.
Notes: I totally head canon that Tieflings lift their tails up when they’re interested in someone/their potential partner.  Be it just sexually or in love and Everett is doing it unintentionally.  He’s so into Astarion that his body is just taking over.  The use of the Infernal language is from a common to Infernal language translator. 

💜

Eying her greataxe with concern, the normally razor sharp end was starting to dull rather quickly.  And the only one who had anything close that could help sharpen up the dulling blade was using their whetstone.  Going through her items, hoping she had enough gold to even think of paying Lae’zel to use the whetstone, Karlach slipped her greataxe on her back.  She may not have enough, but surely Everett would have enough to pay Lae’zel or even convince the Githyanki to let her use the whetstone.  Humming a melody, it didn’t take her long to find the Tiefling.  And the person he was talking to.

Animated hands moved, a little bounce on heels as the Tiefling spoke with Astarion.  From where she stood, Karlach could see that it could have been just a one sided conversation if not the way Astarion’s body leaned just a little closer to Everett.  If the Tiefling’s tail hadn’t lifted in interest, a signal that had Karlach blushing and trying to look away from the intimate scene.  Swallowing past the lump growing in her throat, she couldn’t bring herself to turn around and walk away.  Instead, she leaned closer to hear what the two were talking about, even though she knew it was a lost cause to figure out what was being said.

Everett’s tail lifted a little more at what Astarion had said, at a height she hadn’t seen someone do in public in so long.  Feeling more than flames crawl up her cheeks, she stole one last glance at the two before leaving to give them their privacy.

–

She waited, her Greataxe forgotten, watching the way Astarion would look at Everett through his lashes.  Karlach could guess that Astarion believed he was being sly, periodically looking down at the book he held before turning his gaze back towards the tiefling.  A smile crossing her face at the way Astarion followed the man with his eyes.  She must have made a sound, maybe a giggle of happiness that had the vampire looking up at her with a frown.

“What do you know about a tiefling in love, Astarion?”

“Hmmm?  What makes you ask such a silly question?”  The evading, his tone slipping to carefree, unlike what she’s heard the elf used when he’d speak to Everett.

“Well, if you ever notice one speaking to someone they really like or love,” a little nod towards Astarion’s direction.  “You’ll notice a tail being lifted unconsciously,” a raise of an eyebrow at the widening of Astarion’s eyes.  “It usually signals to their chosen partner that they-” she coughed, feeling a little shy for a moment.  “Why don’t you ask Everett? He’s doing it without even realizing he’s doing it.”

The confused look that crossed Astarion’s face, closing the book and setting it to the side.  An expression that she rarely saw flittered in the man’s eyes.  Shoulders stiff, Karlach wondered if she made a mistake, pushing herself to her feet.  A glance around the camp told her that everyone else was busy with their own things.  No one noticed that Astarion followed Everett away from camp and no one noticed her waiting a few minutes before sneaking off.

Hoping that her footsteps were quiet enough to not be noticed, Karlach followed the path Astarion had taken.  Crouching low, taking cover behind a rather large outcrop of rocks, Karlach peeked around to see Astarion talking to the Tiefling.  A tilt of a head, she guessed he was trying to see if Everett’s tail lifted like she had mentioned.  It didn’t take a genius to know that Everett had been falling in love with the vampire. Unsure if the others had noticed and knew Astarion hadn’t entertained the idea of love.  She was sure that before she even spoke to Astarion that the man had no clue to Everett’s feelings.

“You know, I always wondered why your tail lifts when I’m around.  Or when I’m close like this,” Astarion’s voice dropped, Karlach peeked once more to see Everett’s cheeks flushed with color.  Astarion nuzzling against the side of a neck, she caught the way the vampire peeked over Everett’s shoulder.  Hands inching down, Everett’s tail lifting higher still, allowing further access.  “I never thought it was about love.”

‘Shit, he went straight for the jugular,’ Karlach thought to herself as Astarion walked the Tiefling backwards.  A barely there sound of a “thunk” before the rustling of clothes, a gasp that easily resembled Astarion’s name.  Chancing a look over to the couple, Everett’s pants tangled as the Tiefling himself stumbled to get the clothing down.

“May I?”

Muffled sounds she couldn’t quite make out, seeing hands work at the clothing Astarion wore.  Hands that gently parted fabric, words that she couldn’t make out before watching the way Everett stared up at Astarion.  Her breath caught in her throat at the look that Everett wore.  A mixture of emotion that was only for Astarion, utterly raw and open, easily conveyed without a word.

Turning her gaze away, she ducked back behind the rock with her face aflame.  She had witnessed something deeply personal between the two.  Something she wasn’t meant to see.  One last glance at the pair, fingers running through blue hair, cradling the back of a head that moved in a way that told her what Everett was doing.

Holding her breath, feeling heat run through her body.  Breath hitching, Karlach couldn’t turn away.  She shouldn’t be watching, only curious to how Astarion would react.  Never would she have thought such an intimate sight would be so romantic.  She forced herself to move away from the spot she had taken cover.  Unable to get the sight of the way Everett’s head bobbed slowly, hands that cradled the back of the Tiefling’s head.  The way the high elf stared down at Everett as though no one had ever offered pleasure to him.  She couldn’t help the stab of envy, wanting that closeness the two shared.  Turning back towards camp, she quietly made her way to her tent with the hopes of being able to get a little bit of privacy behind the flaps of her tent.  Or at least time to cool down.

___

“May I?” Everett asked, biting his bottom lip as he held his hand out.  A tilt of Astarion’s head, he swallowed and pushed aside his nervousness.  “Can I touch you?” His back against a tree, rough bark scraping at his tail.  He didn’t care, didn’t want to think of how Astarion figured out the reason and didn’t care.  Heart beating heavy in his chest, he could imagine the hardness in Astarion’s pants and while that wasn’t the case, he didn’t care.

Didn’t care that he was on his knees before Astarion, pants parted and ripped in some places.  He only cared about the way Astarion stared down at him, hands that seemed to cradle his head.

“I don’t know what-”

“You don’t have to do anything, just- I want-” Everett started to stumble over his words, feeling as though everything was falling apart.

“Tell me, darling, don’t hide behind that mask of yours,” soft soothing words, hands sliding to the back of his head.

“I want to give you pleasure, Astēr,” Everett admitted, not realizing he vocalized the nickname he had in his head for Astarion.

“Astēr?”  A raised eyebrow, thumbs against his cheeks.  The elf had no trouble pronouncing the foreign word, speaking with ease

“It means Star.  A word I learned in one of the dreams my patron shared,” cheeks flushed, looking up to see lips curl a little, parted as though Astarion wanted to say something.  “I want to be the one to show you pleasure.  To let me please you.  You can say no, it won’t hurt my feelings.”

A humming sound, Everett couldn’t tell if it was a pleased sound or not.  He waited for a moment, each passing seconds left him second guessing himself.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I want to, Astēr.  It’s something I really enjoy doing.  A lot.  And it’s something I want to do with you, if you’d like.”

Another moment, the incline of a head.  A smile that was void of mockery.  A smile that seemed to be just for him.

“You continue to surprise me, you know.  I wouldn’t have thought that this would be something you enjoy,” a sigh as hands cupped the back of his head.  “Well, let me see, then.  Show me, please” a hint of uncertainty in Astarion’s voice.  The fear that he wished he could soothe.  Instead, he leaned forward, resting his cheek against Astarion’s leg, nose breathing in the high elf’s scent.

“Just let me, Astēr,” Everett inhaled as he nuzzled against the man’s trousers, trying to keep his hands from trembling in excitement.  Being able to touch Astarion, to map his body with his hands, memorizing the way muscles felt under his touch.  Something to hold onto when the man inevitably gets tired of him.

Swallowing down the nerves, he worked the buttons loose, parting fabric that Astarion took care of not to damage.  Fingers through his hair, feeling the brush against his horns, Everett hissed in a breath.  Trying to muffle the sound, he worked the clothing down enough to reach inside.  It didn’t matter that Astarion was only half hard, only that Astarion trusted him enough to do this.  Working the clothing down a little further, underwear following.  Fighting to keep his eyes open, content to nuzzle against the fine hair at the base.  Inhale and memorize more of the scent Astarion gave off.

Snuffing out a breath, parting his lips to kiss the base of Astarion’s cock.  He could have sworn he heard a hissed breath, it could have just been his imagination.  He didn’t care, only the feel of Astarion’s hands in his hair, guiding him.  Bringing his head up just enough, licking at the swelling crown and the near translucent drop of fluid that was beading.  Pushing back the urge to rush this, wanting to savor and take his time, Everett closed his lips around the head.

He heard the curse above him, fingers gripping the back of his head a little more tighter.  A guide he more than welcomed, enjoying the way breathing hitched as he took Astarion further into his mouth.  Breathing through his nose, the taste on his tongue and the overwhelming love he felt for the man.  Glancing up through his lashes, bottom lip caught between teeth as red eyes stared down at him.  He would have smiled if he could, settling to sliding his hands along Astarion’s legs, urging him to move.  Giving in and closing his eyes, Everett bobbed his head at a pace he thought would work for Astarion.

Going by the fingers pulling at his hair, the hesitant and brief motions of hips, the gasps-  Oh God, those sounds.  The sounds alone would be something he would hear and cherish for the rest of his life.  Sliding his hands up slim hips, moving his head a little faster as he tried to swallow back a moan.  Tracing the veins with his tongue, the taste only got stronger as he swallowed around Astarion’s cock.  Swearing from the man, Everett silently encouraged those hips to move more.  To give in and use his mouth.

“L-look at you,” the low words, harsh under a panting breath.  Hands that pushed his head  further down, a groan that was muffled.  Silently begging for more, Everett pulled back. Breathing deeply through his nose, feeling Astarion tremble under his touch.  Looking up, seeing teeth clenched as he stopped.  Wishing that Astarion could read his mind, wishing he could touch himself while giving the elf pleasure.  Closing his eyes once more, taking the man further in his mouth.

Behind his closed eyes he imagined the look on Astarion’s face.  The caring look he thought the vampire would wear, whispered words that would hold so much weight and promise.  The words of love that could fall from those lips, the praise he craved.  Anything that would ease the ache inside, the desire to belong; to be wanted.  He could pretend that the man had feelings for him, beyond what those pretty words told him.  Could pretend that Astarion’s arms were home.

The hitch of breathing, fingers gripping at his hair, pulling as his head was forced down further.  The sweet burn in his chest as the lack of air started to settle in.  No warning was given as his head was held in place, the flood of cum in his mouth as Astarion made quick, jerky thrusts.  Swallowing what he could, Everett pulled back enough as Astarion’s grip on his head lessened before fully pulling off.  Swallowing what was left in his mouth, he took a deep breath.  It had been so long since he took someone that deep.  Been so long that he even wanted to do that to someone.  Chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath, he could feel a curl of happiness in his chest at the sight of Astarion.  He could feel his whole body aching, wanting to get himself off as well.

“Gods be damned, Everett,” Astarion huffed, staggering forward a bit before falling to his knees to lean into him.  “No one’s ever done that for me,” a confession uttered into his neck as he leaned back further, pulling Astarion’s weight onto his body.  He couldn’t deny the rise of joy when Astarion curled into him.

“I-” Everett swallowed, his breath finally slowing down, wrapping his arms around the man.  “I take that it was good?” He asked, nosing into Astarion’s hair and breathing in the man’s scent.  He couldn’t help himself, running his fingers through soft hair, curls of pale hair that felt like silk against his skin.  Gently touching Astarion’s head while cradling the man closer, enjoying what trust the elf had in him.

A murmured sound of approval, a sigh of content that escaped.  He couldn’t help the swelling of emotions taking over, the love he had for Astarion.  The ache of wanting to keep the man safe, to protect the happiness he finally had.

“Xe dajy haf, Awzirual,” Everett whispered into Astarion’s hair, closing his eyes as he confessed his secret in a way he hoped Astarion wouldn’t understand the infernal language. “Xe dajy haf wa pftm.”

“Hmmm?”  The hum of Astarion’s voice, the shift of weight as the man moved.  “What language was that?”

“Huh?”

“I’m not a fool, you said something important.  Your breath hitched in your chest while your heart was pounding.  Almost with anticipation and your scent,” a nose against his neck, lips against his skin.  “Say it again,”

Everett took a deep breath, body shuddering as Astarion’s hand slipped between them.  Fingers slipping under his clothing to trace along the ridges along his ribs and hip, further down to his hard cock that lay among his torn pants.  He tried to concentrate on the language as it didn’t come as easy as common did, feeling his heart racing just like Astarion said.

“Xe- Xe dajy haf wa pftm, Awzirual.”

“What language was that?”  The swipe of a tongue against his skin, he couldn’t hold back a whimper as Astarion’s fingers curled around his hard flesh. 

“I-infernal,” he answered, licking at his bottom lip, lifting his head in the hopes to see what Astarion was doing to him.

“Infernal?”

A quick nod of his head, unable to look away as Astarion stared up at him.  An odd expression on the man’s face, one he couldn’t read.  A smile on his lips that didn’t match up with what those red eyes silently conveyed.

“Say it again?”

Everett swallowed, wishing to hide away as he heard the uncertainty in the Vampire’s voice, waiting for the mockery to come.  Still, he couldn’t deny the request.

“Xe dajy haf, Awzirual.”

Lips that mouthed the words, that wicked tongue tipping over the pronunciation before rearing back to straddle his hips.  A hand splayed across his stomach, the other worked his flesh, manipulating him.  Biting his lower lip to hold back the sounds that wanted to escape, holding back the secret that would eventually be spilled and completely wreck him.

“These words,” Astarion stared down at him, his hand never letting go of his grip on his flesh. “I can’t understand them. And yet…why does it make me feel strange?”

Everett froze, snapping his attention back to Astarion’s face and the expression that the man wore.  Lips trembled, he swallowed.  Did Astarion understand the words?  Did he understand the feelings he has? Infernal wasn’t a well known language outside of hell, demons and Tieflings.  A language few wanted to learn and something he thought was safe enough to use around someone he loves.

Mouth dry, blood pounding in his ears as he felt panic start to claw at the back of his throat.  The urge to take off rose, instincts telling him he was a fool to even think someone such as Astarion would care for him.  Before he could say anything, to protest what the man was thinking, Astarion ducked down to press a kiss to his lips.

“Don’t tell me,” a whisper, almost a plea.  A beg.  “I don’t know why it’s making me feel like this, my mind whirling with curiosity as to what you mean.  And yet, I like it.”

A briefest of nods, Everett waited for Astarion to let go.  To climb up and off of him and tell him he’s reading too much into it.  Still, to hold onto a sliver of hope that the strange feeling it was giving Astarion was enough to convey what he can’t utter in common just yet.  Nothing came from that, just the sound of a contented sigh while the grip on his flesh slacked a bit.  Biting at the inside of his cheek as Astarion laid back down across him, resting his head once more on his clothed chest.  Never in this life or the previous lives had he ever felt like this.

__

“So you were right about the tail,” Astarion admitted begrudgingly, seeing the smile growing on Karlach’s face.  He didn’t fully understand Everett’s feelings nor what the man said to him afterwards.  He could only focus on how his body reacted, that if his heart could beat it would have been racing.

“How do you feel?”

An innocent question from Karlach, if not for the ‘I told you’ type of voice.

“I don’t know,” Astarion answered truthfully.  “He called me by a nickname-”. He shot Karlach a look when she opened her mouth, watching as she snapped it closed and rocked back on her heels.

“But he said something I couldn’t understand.  And yet…it made me tremble in excitement.  My mind whirling with curiosity and I don’t know why,” his words came out rather quietly, forcing Karlach to lean in a little bit before looking over his shoulder.  Her eyes widened, rearing back and a silent shake of her head.

Looking over his shoulder, he caught the crestfallen look on Everett’s face.  Eyes that were a mixture of heartbreak and disappointment before the Tiefling turned away.

“Shit,” Karlach slipped before stepping back, to call out over his shoulder to the Tiefling.

“Hy’w qaz la ulzyrywz ul py, Ejyryzz. L xe pyil uz.”

“Is that Infernal?”  Astarion asked, still feeling bewildered.  Infernal wasn’t a language taught to just anyone and he wanted to know what Everett said to make him feel this way.

“Yep!  Most Tieflings learn some of it, be it from parents,” a tap to her chest.  “Or picking it up from others.  Did Everett speak Infernal to you?”

Astarion hesitated for a moment, nodding his answer.

“And you don’t know what he said?”

“Obviously!”  He sighed.  “I can’t remember what he said, but the way he said it and the tone,” Astarion swallowed as he pressed a hand to his chest.  “If my heart could beat, it would be pounding.”

The sharp intake of breath, if Karlach’s face wasn’t red already it would’ve been by now.  He eyed her expression, lips that pressed as the woman fought back a smile.  The excitement that had her rocking back on her heels as she clasped her hands behind her back.

“I can tell that you’re not going to help,” he mused to himself, nodding his head.  “I wonder if Gale has a book on that language  he turned away, ready to track down the wizard

“This is something you need to work out on your own, Astarion,” Karlach called out to him.  Keeping his attention forward, he didn’t see Karlach going for Everett.  Pressing a hand to his chest, wondering how his heart would have reacted to whatever the Tiefling told him.  If it would align with the way his mind took off with imagining what those words meant.

Astarion didn’t notice how his steps seemed a little lighter as he went to ask Gale about such a book.