Baring your soul shouldn’t be this nerve racking pt 5 of 5

Title: Baring your soul shouldn’t be this nerve racking pt 5 of 5
Rating: Explicit
Series: Baldur’s Gate 3
Characters/Pairings/Couples: Astarion/Everett (Male Tav named, Original Character), Astarion/Tav, Everett, Astarion, Karlach, Gale, Wyll, Jornathan (Original Character reference another Male Tav named), Gale/Jornathan
Part of: Falling into a sea of stars
Beta: No Beta, all mistakes are my own
Summary:  He never thought he’d be confessing his feelings, determined to keep his secret close to his heart.  But here he was, baring his soul to Astarion.  There’s no going back now.
Warnings: Mention/references of self mutilation, slight mention of underage masturbation
Notes: this started off just as an attempt to have some smut between Astarion/Everett and just snowballed from there.  This also a way to involve Astarion into Everett’s backstory.  It’s stated in the game that Tav is from Baldur’s Gate.  And while that seemed okay, I wanted to have Everett explore.  No place to call home, only the small room that he rented above one of the taverns.  He’s not from Baldur’s Gate, but he’s deeply in love with a traumatized and hurt character, while he himself is flawed.  And would do absolutely anything for him, unhealthy as it is.  After all, Everett has never had a healthy relationship and no one has ever taught him to value himself.  So when he finds happiness with Astarion, he will do anything to protect that happiness and Astarion.

There is a line or two that was inspired by the movie Interstellar, my favorite movie.  And a lot of this was written before I finished the game, before I finished Astarion’s quest.  So Karlach is still alive and Everyone is pairing up.  Shadowheart’s parents live, I wrote that before even finishing her quest and I don’t like how it ends. 

I started this story before even finishing the game nor fully understanding what Astarion went through. I really hope this doesn’t come across as dismissing or completely ignoring the torture, pain and the abuse he went through. That wasn’t my intention. And I struggled on the sex scenes as I fought with myself. I have a one shot in the works that is set further into the future of the story. I also want to work in other characters/tav into the series.

💜

He underestimated how long it would take to reach Waterdeep, though he wasn’t complaining.  The address that Gale has written down for them, instructions on how to navigate the city written in his smooth handwriting.  Though as tired and filthy as he was, he couldn’t suppress the buzz of anticipation at the sounds of the city.  The comforts of a bed that would bring a restful sleep to them all.

“I think the inn that Gale recommended should be around here,” Everett looked around for any signs of the building that the wizard had recommended.  

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but once we get there, I’m gonna find someone interested and have a nice night,” Karlach announced, sending him a wink as she looked around for the inn.  Everett didn’t bother to hide his smile, hoping that his friend was able to find someone that would become more than just a one time thing.  

Shouldering his bag as the building came into view.  More than a few mutters of relief, everyone wanting a full meal and soft bed to sleep in.  Swallowing back at the sight, he knew Gale had taste, not as extravagant as Astarion’s, but enough to know this inn wouldn’t be as inexpensive as he hoped.

“I want a hot bath and a snack,” Astarion sighed, stepping through the doorway.  Head held high, confidence oozing off of him, Everett could only nod and swallow, following behind the man.

“You do know what I mean, don’t you, my little glow bug?”  The whisper in his ear as he stepped beside Astarion.

“I think I do,” a smile in his voice, pulling out the gold needed for the room.  A glance at the three, the look on Wyll’s face as he was led away by a man.  Everett turned back, handing over the gold, adding a few more for hot water to be delivered to their room.

Taking the keys the owner held out, a murmured word of thanks.

“It’s nice to be in civilization,” Shadowheart commented, passing them in the hallway.  Pausing just outside a door just across from them.

“After all that time traveling, I am ready to just settle down for some peace and quiet.  I suggest the two of you enjoy it as well.  After all of this, I just want to spend some time with my parents.  So for now, I bid you a goodnight,” a nod towards them before shouldering her bag.

“I hope she stops by before leaving,” he commented, handing the key over to Astarion.  “This time we don’t have to sneak in.  It’s nice,” he admitted, stepping through the doorway and closing the door with a click.

It wasn’t a large room, nothing compared to The Elf Song.  But it was warm, a bathtub hidden behind several wooden folding screens along with several clean towels.  In the center sat the bed, one that was hopefully as comfortable as it looked.  The way Astarion eyed the window, the curtains he had parted to look out.  As much as the man didn’t want to be under the power of anyone else, Everett could easily see how much Astarion missed the sun.  Could see the longing as he stared up at the moon, a poor substitute for what he wanted.

Dropping his bag in the corner, reaching for the bag that Astarion held.  He knew the elf missed the sun, missed all the color of the world.  He didn’t hesitate, setting Astarion’s bag next to his before reaching for the man’s hand.  He should have asked and it felt wrong that he didn’t.  But seeing the longing on the man’s face, feeling fingers curling around his own.

“Do you remember the feel of the heat of the sun on your skin?”  Astarion asked, turning his head to look at Everett.  “It hasn’t been long and yet I miss it.  I miss the colors, the warmth.  What I wouldn’t give to feel it once more.”

Feeling his heart in his throat as he swallowed.  Pushing down the urge to act first, he had to think before acting.  The squeeze, the smile that crossed Astarion’s face stopped him from sticking his foot in his mouth.

“While we’re here, let’s both sneak into Gale’s home and see if he has anything that would help,” a push against his shoulder and towards the bed, walking backwards. “Makes me wonder what kind of secrets we could find that he’s hiding,” a shove onto the bed.  “Or see if Tara would let me pet her.”

Everett couldn’t stop the snort or laughter, pulling Astarion down on top of him.  Welcoming the weight of the elf against him, Everett slid his fingers through the man’s soft hair.

“You just want a cat, Astarion,” he chuckled when then his lover looked away with a slight pout to his lips.  “One wouldn’t be so bad, you know.  Though they would be best in pairs.  I can see you chasing after them,” his laughter trailed off to a muffled sound as the man rolled his hips.  “What’re you doing?”

“I told you I could go for a snack,” Astarion hunched over him and for the briefest moment he could see the hint of uncertainty.  Breathing out a sound of understanding, reaching up to cup Astarion’s face.  Smooth skin, a hint of chill below the surface under his fingertips.  A pleased sound when the man turned his head to kiss his palm while keeping his gaze on him.

“I know,” his breath hitched as teeth scraped against skin, “though you also said you could go for a hot bath.  Which one would you prefer first?”  

His question was answered by the knock to the door.  Clearing his throat, Everett called out only to be answered by a voice on the other side announcing the hot water they had ordered was outside.

“Just in time,” Astarion announced, giving his palm a last kiss before rearing back.  “Don’t think that this is over, my little glow bug.  We have all the privacy now.”

Face aflame, Everett’s imagination running wild with any and all ideas as to what Astarion had planned.  He watched as the elf gave him a look before crawling off of him, a hand held out to pull him up.

“I rather like you like that,” the comment as his lover walked towards the wooden screens, most likely preparing the bath for the water.  A glance down, hoping his clothes would hide his erection, Everett opened the door to grab the cart with the buckets of steaming water.  A glance up and down the hallway, gently pulling the cart into the room before closing the door behind him.  A quick flick of the lock, wheeling the cart to the folding screens and to where Astarion stood, pulling off his shirt.  Scars that stood out against pale skin, he could only imagine the pain Astarion went through.  

“What?  Like me being embarrassed?” Everett laughed as he lifted the heaviest bucket of hot water first, carrying it to the wooden bath.  Expecting Astarion to laugh or roll his eyes, Everett nearly dropped the bucket of water at the stare Astarion gave him.  The intensity in his red eyes, lips parted as a tongue licked at the bottom lip.

“Seeing yourself have that confidence I know you have.  Like when we’re in battle, you don’t hold back.  But when we’re together you’re more reserved,” Astarion observed, reaching for the bucket he held.  “Don’t hesitate around me.  I rather like it when I glimpse you being yourself, goofy and sweet as you can be.  A little weirdo for sure,” the laugh eased the sting from the teasing.

The pour of water into the wooden tub, steam rising up.  Taking the bucket from Astarion, bringing a full one.  Repeating until the wooden tub was half full, Everett wheeled the cart away only to return to the sectioned off area.  He couldn’t help the way his heart raced, watching as Astarion slipped the last of his clothes off, folding them and placing them away. 

“Aren’t you going to join me?”  Words tossed over a shoulder, a hand being held out.  The gaze that watched him, the trust that Astarion was showing him.  Quickly pulling his clothes off, folding them and placing them alongside Astarion’s, Everett gave the hand that was offered a squeeze.

“Climb in, I’ll wash you,” his voice low, reaching for the soap and a small towel set aside for their use.  “If you would like, that is,” Everett offered, something about the expression that Astarion wore before the sigh of frustration.

“Come here,” a tug, pulling him into the man’s embrace.   “This is for the both of us, not just me.”  Words whispered in his ear, lips against skin as the lingering scent that reminded him of distant memories filled his senses. 

Swallowing at the order, a shiver ran across his skin as he nodded.  He couldn’t deny the urge to take care of Astarion was there, to pamper the vampire.  Holding onto the cloth and soap, Everett followed Astarion into the bath.  A sigh of relief from the elf, he took in the look of happiness that crossed the man’s face as the warmth of the water welcomed them.

“This is a lot better than the bath in that river,” Astarion breathed out as heat of the water enveloped them.  Everett hummed out a response, kneeling down between Astarion’s legs.

“You surprised me,” Astarion admitted, reaching to pull him closer.  The chest against his back while his tail slipped free only to be caught by a hand, fingertips tracing the tip of his tail.  The sound that escaped his throat, he was lucky that his tail wasn’t as sensitive as his horns.  “How just a few words got you worked up.  I didn’t think you would actually do that,” lips against his ears, a free hand slipping under the water to rub at his stomach.  “To get off when anyone could easily see you.  All it took was a few words,” the purr of satisfaction at the memory.  “Watch you get yourself off, the sweet way you cried out my name.”

Everett swallowed, trying to focus his mind away from the memory.  He remembered, of course, the way Astarion’s teeth bit into him, having slid his own hand down to encircle his hard flesh.  The first time the man actually touched him in a way that wasn’t just related to being bitten, a hand pressing above his heart.  Moans that had reached his ears as Astarion drank his blood, the swipe of a tongue as the vampire had pulled away.

“I remember,” Everett replied, licking at his bottom lip as he leaned back against Astarion.  “You lifting my hand and staring at it, I could hear the laughter in your voice.”

He couldn’t help the flush to his cheeks as Astarion nuzzled into his neck, licking where he had bitten so many times that his skin was scarring from the amount of bites.  The snuff of a nose against the nape of his neck as lips kissed his skin.

“You make it too easy, my love. But the image of you ducking your head as you tried to fight back the blush,” the sigh against his skin. “And the fact that you got yourself off to my voice, that was something I wasn’t expecting.”

“You can’t blame me, Astarion,” Everett laughed as he tried to pull away, turning to look over his shoulder. “Your voice is something else, you know?  But enough about me-”

“Hmmm, I know what you’re saying.  Right now, tell me more.” Behind the words that Astarion spoke, the false confidence that laced the man’s voice was a voice carrying a note of worry as hands pulled him back against his chest.  Holding him close as though Astarion was afraid he’d disappear, he gave in and recalled memories he had tried to forget. 

“More?”

A sound of agreement, the hand on his chest slowly moved, a comforting gesture 

“I used to wish that Axaros would adopt me,” Everett confessed with a sigh.  “I think if his husband and son had been alive he would have.”  A small laugh at the foolishness of himself, believing in such wild dreams.  “It was a nice dream.  To escape from Candlekeep and just be a kid.  He told me what he was working on, before he died.  I can’t remember what it was, but it was something important,” his voice trailed off as he struggled to remember what Axaros had talked about.

The hum of Astarion’s voice, an almost silent encouragement as the hand against his chest stilled for a moment.

“What would’ve happened if he did adopt you?” 

It took Everett a moment to realize what Astarion was alluding to.  Could hear the change in the man’s tone, underneath and hidden.  Pulling away and turning around as quickly as he could in the tub, Everett knelt above Astarion’s lap.

“I would find you,” was his answer as Everett reached for one of Astarion’s hands.  “No matter if Axaros adopted me or not, I would still be chosen by my patron and would  agree to the contract.  I would have still found my way to you, Astarion.”

“I never took you for a hopeless romantic, Everett.  How could you be so sure?”  The scoff of his voice, gaze sliding away briefly.

“I’m naive, like you said, Astarion.  When I completed the ritual for my patron, I went to Baldur’s Gate.  That was my first instinct, to reach the city.  I couldn’t explain the feeling, just that urgent need to get there.  And I did-  I made it to the city and didn’t know where to go from there.”  Everett’s eyes closed as the memories washed over him.  He could still recall the vendors calling out to sell their wares, kids playing and chasing each other through dirt streets.  The smell of food being cooked and music from the bard that would play for tips as the sun sent each night.  The glances he would steal at those bold enough to use the alleyways for sex.  Curious to know more, to be included.

A sound from Astarion had him opening his eyes to give the man a reassuring look.

“That urgent need just disappeared and I was there, no clue as to why I needed to be there.  And I had no idea, no idea where to go.  My patron wouldn’t answer any questions and the begging that I made was ignored.”  He brought Astarion’s hand to kiss at the fingertips, as he kept his gaze on the man.  

“I remember what my patron told me, ‘Find that one person you would give anything for,’  For me, it’s you, Astarion.  And-”

Taking a deep breath, Everett pulled back as he placed Astarion’s hand back down.  He let his words die, leaning back to give Astarion the space he needed.  Clearing his throat, Everett fought with himself.  He made this awkward, Astarion probably wanted to hear about something else other than his ramblings.  Not his deranged dreams and wishes, his thoughts and all the stuff that ran through his mind.  Cursing himself silently, he reached for the soap and sponge, a better upgrade than what they used in the river.  This wasn’t what the man needed right now.  His thoughts and past didn’t matter to anyone but him.

“And what?  You didn’t finish,” Astarion interrupted his thoughts, leaning forward to take the sponge and soap from his hands, setting them aside.  Catching the way eyebrows pinch, lips that could promise so much turned downward before reaching out to tilt his head down.  “The expression on your face is telling me you’re overthinking this again.”

“I want to give you everything, Astarion!” His words blurted out before he could stop himself.  Cheeks heated up as his heart raced, pushing past his self doubt and forcing back the thoughts that wanted to crowd the front of his mind.  “After everything you’ve been through, Astarion, I want you to have everything.  To experience what you never got the chance to.”

He swallowed down the nerves he felt crawl up the back of his throat.  About to continue, Astarion’s voice had him stopping, listening quietly.

“I wish you had found me then and yet, I know what would have happened.  If Cazador had an inkling of you, he would have given me the order to bring you in.  Would have tormented and tortured you just to see my reaction.  Would make it his mission to see me break yet again,” the shuddering breath as arms hesitated briefly, pulling him into a hug as the man buried his face into his neck.  A sound of understanding, Everett wrapped his arms around Astarion.

“I would give anything to take away what you went through, Astarion.  To know where you were and just have been there for you.”  A whisper into soft hair, breathing in Astarion’s scent.

“What do you want, Astarion?”  Everett asked, feeling the elf pull away, body stiff.

“Right now, I think-” the shuddering breath, the gaze that went right through him.  “I think I need to be alone.”

Biting down on the inside of his cheek, Everett nodded.  This wasn’t about him, he shouldn’t take this personally.  Hoping to hide the way his heart was racing, pushing himself to his feet.  Climbing out of the wooden tub, reaching for one of the towels to dry himself.  Chancing a look at Astarion, the pensive expression he wore.  Gathering his clothes, turning partly, he gave Astarion a hopeful look.

“I love you, Astarion, just remember that.  No matter what, I’m here for you.”

He paused for a moment before turning and leaving, giving the man his privacy.  The few steps to the bed, pushing down the thoughts that rose up in the back of his mind before dressing.  Grabbing his bag, slipping the book of his patron out.  He knew the time, inside and out.  Cover to cover in the hopes he could find anything else hidden, anything he could have missed despite the years up years he had it.  There were times he hoped his patron would add things, anything that would help him.  Eyeing the bed briefly, turning away to the door that lead to the balcony, bare and open with only a hip high railing.

The smell of the ocean hit him once the door opened, stepping out into the cool night.  Closing the door behind himself, Everett pressed himself against the wall and slid to the floor with a thud.  Curling his tail close to his body, folding his legs and opening the tome with a flick of his wrist.  Biting at his thumb with his incisors, smearing the beading blood on the faded front page.  The briefest of moments passed the material absorbed his blood before disappearing with no trace of having been there.

Text glowing, lighting up his face as he paved through the book.  He had read Astarion the passage, which he first learned before making the pact with his patron.  Spells taunting him, urging him to use more power than what his patron gave him.  Turning the pages, wishing for a chance to talk to Axaros again.  To feel that fatherly hand on his shoulder.  He was so sure the man would be able to guide him, offer suggestions on his life and the mistakes he’s made.  Taking a shuddering breath, tracing his fingertips over the well worn pages.  It used to be that he could take comfort from reading this book.  Bringing him a closeness that would be his world.  If he didn’t have anyone, he had this. 

Now he had someone, someone he would take on the world for.  Someone he loved so deeply that-

“You’re realizing the teachings I’ve been parting on you, little Tiefling.”

Head throbbing at the onslaught of his patron’s voice in his mind, leaving him clenching his teeth as his nerves throbbed; ready to burst and send fire coursing through his veins.

“You should be used to this by now, Everett.  The pain should be nothing to you.  You’re in love,” he could hear the envy in his patron’s voice, and could feel the rolling anger as they wanted to feel such love.  The restraint his patron was showing was more than what others were known to have and he knew why.

“Don’t forget why you’re here Everett.  You remember so much but have forgotten what your precious Axaros told you, didn’t you?”

A hum of electricity ran up his spine, biting his bottom lip as the pain increased further.  The taste of iron flooded his tongue as he couldn’t hold back the cry, nearly dropping his hold on the book in his lap.  Memories rushing through his mind, the sight of Axaros blocking him with his body.  The scent of burning flesh, the key shoved in his hands.  

“Further back, little Tiefling.”

Further?

He tried to focus, how far back?  When did-

“Rowan would have loved to have met you, Everett.  Arawn would’ve been about your age, I bet you would’ve gotten along with him.”

The pained look whenever Axaros talked about his family, the anguish that would coat the man’s words when he would talk about his husband and son.

“You remind me of Arawn, Everett.  If I had been there, they wouldn’t have been bitten.  Wouldn’t have been cornered by angry and upset people.”

The press of lips when the man spoke, anger that would flash across his face before the man crumpled into himself for a while.  Grief that would hit the wizard at times, the books and journals he had scattered across his table.  Times he would take a chance and browse the notes-

Bitten.  Cornered with his son by an angry group of people, fear of what was forced on Axaros’ family.

“He was working on a way to help his husband and son,” Everett realized as a pleased hum from the back of his mind.  The retreat of his patron, leaving his mind feeling empty momentarily.  Pushing away the feeling, the fact that he had forgotten what Axaros had been working on before he died and the fact that his patron reminded him.  He shouldn’t get his hopes up, they hadn’t had a chance to even look for a way for Astarion to walk in the sun.  It had been so long since he originally left Candlekeep, left Axaros’ body and his past.

“There could be a chance,” he murmured to himself, chewing on his lower lip before closing his eyes and hugging the open book close to his chest.

“Maybe it’s still there.”

The fact that he had forgotten what Axaros told him, clenching his eyes tightly as he felt a wave of disappointment with himself.  How could he have forgotten?  Was he so caught up in his happiness that he had forgotten?  Such a horrible feeling, clawing at the inside of his chest.  Burrowing deep, joining in on the guilt he felt for so long, rising and pushing up memories he had forgotten and those he wanted to forget.  

Shaking his head, Everett pushed himself to his feet and closed the distance to the balcony.  Tucking the book close to his chest, he climbed up on the railing and sat down, feet dangling.  Sounds from the street below, low enough that any conversations were muffled.  

Catching the sound of the balcony door opening, Everett Kept his gaze on the streets.  People that were in no hurry, finding their way around with no purpose, no worry.  No sound from the other, just a soft grunt as Astarion climbed up to take a seat beside him.  The quiet presence, Everett hesitated for a brief moment, wanting nothing more than to put his head on the man’s shoulder.  To tell him that it was going to be okay and they had so much ahead of them.  Instead, he felt like he did when he first met the man, the urge to just touch him.  A reassuring hand squeeze or shoulder, a look communicating silently between them.  Instead, he felt like a teenager all over again, nervous in front of his love and so filled with guilt.

“I thought you would have gone further,” Astarion’s voice broke through his thoughts, a bottle of wine in his hands as he pulled the cork loose to take a slow drink.

A little smile that he didn’t feel, he should have gone down to the tavern for a meal to give the man the privacy he had wanted.

“I can, if you want me to,” Everett offered, keeping his gaze down.  “I wasn’t exactly sure if you wanted me nearby or if you wanted me to just go.”

“No,” words spoken with hesitation as Astarion breathed deeply.  “What you told me, before, brought back a horrible memory.  For a moment I thought you were the sweet boy I refused to bring back to Cazador,” a hitch of a breath as Astarion stiffened for a moment before holding out his hand to him.  Everett didn’t waste a moment, reaching out to grasp the hand the man held out to him.  Curling his fingers before lacing them with Astarion’s, he took the chance to lean against the man.  “Memories I try to forget, memories you’ve forgotten,” a dry sigh and a sniff, fingers rubbing away the small trickle of blood from one of his ears 

“I take it your patron talked to you?”

He gave a sound of agreement, nodding his head as well.

“Reminding me what I’ve forgotten.”

“And here I thought just gods like to meddle in the lives of mortals.  Your patron seems more invested in your life than you realize,” Astarion said, offering him the bottle he held.

“You’re not wrong,” he snorted as he took the bottle, taking a drink and swallowing the wine with a sigh.  “They reminded me of what I forgot, sparking memories that I had forced myself to forget.”  Taking another drink, handing the bottle back to Astarion, he whistled at the potency as his mouth tingled.  “Where did you get this?  This is something else.”

“Hmmm?  I take it you’ve never had wine made by high elves have you?”  Astarion made a sound of amusement, enjoying his reaction to the drink.

“No,” Everett admitted as he felt heat coursing through his body, color crawling up his cheeks.  “I’m not much of a wine connoisseur.  But why-”

“Why is it affecting you like that?”  The quirk of an eyebrow, lips curling up in a small smile as the vampire reached, his hand paused before he gave a nod.  A hesitant kiss, as though Astarion was unsure before giving a little further.  Swallowing back a sound of want at the little nip of teeth, his bottom lip licked before Astarion pulled back.  It took everything in him not beg for more.

“It’s known for its potency,” words against his lips, a soft bite before the elf slipped off the railing and back onto the balcony.  “Are you coming?”

Feeling like he was about to swallow his tongue, Everett nodded and fumbled briefly before following.  Closing the door behind himself, setting the book he held aside near his bag before turning back to Astarion.  Hold back his questions, letting the man guide him.  This was about Astarion and not himself, as much as he wanted the pleasure, this was for Astarion.

“I told you early I could go for a snack, and since we were interrupted earlier,” the words hung in the air and while he wanted to question, Everett nodded, feeling the awkwardness all over again.  The hand on his shoulder, the scent he loved filling his senses as Astarion leaned closer.  

“You can feed on me, if you like,” Everett offered, tilting his head enough to give his lover room.  His hand itched to reach for him; pull the man  close and show him the love he deserves.  Instead he leaned a little closer to breathe in more of Astarion’s scent, matching the man’s movement.

“And you can touch me,” Astarion replied with a sound of approval.  “Your pulse is jumping, I wonder what you’re thinking about.”  The nuzzle against his neck, he couldn’t hold back a shiver at Astarion’s breath on his skin.  The moan that escaped his throat when those fangs pierce his skin.  Taking Astarion up on his offer, his hands slid along slightly damp clothes that the man must have thrown on before following him outside.

“So much,” he swallowed as Astarion drank his blood.  Longing to feel skin against his, settling to just wrapping his arms around him. Muffled moans, a tongue licking as Astarion released the hold he had on his neck, a step back away from him. 

“Can I?”  He asked, his gaze flickered from Astarion’s mouth to the bed.  Images of what he wanted and the possibilities.

“Can you what?”  The hum of Astarion’s voice, a smile on his lips and the tilt of his head.  “What are you asking, my love?”

“Can- Could I-” he swallowed as he tried to vocalize what he actually wanted.  Shaking his head in his frustration, why couldn’t he just say what he really wanted?

The snort of laughter, Everett wasn’t expecting Astarion to reach out to tilt his head, the look that the elf gave him.  Gentle fingers on his chin while his thumb rubbed against his bottom lip.  “I think I know what you want, but you need to ask.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”  His tongue darted out to lick at Astarion’s thumb, trying to do more than taste the digit.  Sucking at the tip, wanting nothing more than to feel the weight of Astarion’s flesh on his tongue.  To taste even more of his scent, brand it to his soul to never forget.  Savoring just the brief taste of skin, Everett pulled away and squared his shoulders.

“Can I taste you?”  He asked, heart beating in his ears at the way lips parted in syrprise while a look of uncertainty flashed in Astarion’s eyes.  “Not take you, just a taste.  If you’ll let me.  You can say no, Astarion.  Or just hold me, I do like it when you curl up with me.”

An almost sigh of relief from the man, a hand reaching out to his and the pull, following Astarion onto the bed.

“I thought about this,” Everett admitted as Astarion knelt above him, blocking his head with his arms as the elf leaned into him to kiss him.  His words swallowed, hands pulling at his shirt while a hand reached to tease at his horns.

“Ahhh-” he fought back a shudder, licking at his lips as he tried to speak as pleasure started racing through his body.  “Please let me-” he begged as he slid his hands along Astarion’s thighs.

“What have you thought about?”  He could hear the faint teasing tone of Astarion’s voice through the pounding of blood in his ears.  “Tell me, my glow bug,” fingers continuing to rub against his horns, moving further down to the base and his skin.

“Of sucking you off,” his confession fell off his lips with ease, swallowing back the saliva as he arched his neck as pleasure raced through his body, setting fire to his nerves.  “I think about it a lot.  I love feeling you in my mouth,” he’s babbling, he knows it.  And yet he cannot stop himself.  Memories of sucking Astarion off had plagued him for so long, the scene always at the forefront of his mind.

The whimper escaped as Astarion pulled back, Everett trying to follow when he heard the word “No” in a firm voice.  Freezing, his eyes went straight to Astarion.  Fear that he did exactly what he was afraid of, Everett tried to hold back what his mind was telling him, poisoning him.  Dropping his hands off of Astarion’s thighs, back down to the bed.  Swallowing, he nodded and held still; ready to apologize for whatever he did wrong.  Instead, the weight against his chest as Astarion settled back

“That’s what you want, my little glow bug?”

With a shallow breath, Everett nodded.  “What about you?” He found himself asking, worried he was pushing his wants and desires onto Astarion.

“I do want this,” the hitch in Astarion’s voice, the hand that tilted his head just a little.  “To have a choice makes me feel-” his lips parted by fingertips once more, rubbing and dipping into his mouth.  Swallowing back a sound, licking at the digits slipped inside.  “I can’t describe it, no one’s ever offered me pleasure; bliss without wanting something in return.  It makes me nervous, I want this and yet it terrifies me.”

Everett searched Astarion’s eyes, he wanted to reach out and cup the man’s face.  Tell him that they don’t have to do this if it’s uncomfortable for him.  Instead, he held still, waiting as the elf nodded to himself, almost as if he was having a silent conversation with himself.  The weight lifting away and sliding down to his hips, back in the same position before they were interrupted.

“I never knew you were into things like that,” Astarion commented, corners of his mouth twitched in amusement as Astarion ducked down.  A brief kiss, the lick at his bottom lip and the taste of the man on his tongue.  

“There’s a lot of things I like, and I want to do with you, Astarion,” Everett sighed against Astarion’s lips.  “I want to experience whatever you’re comfortable with. And whatever you want, Astarion.  Seeing you happy gives me the greatest feeling,” he couldn’t help the moan at the press of hips against his.

A sound from the man, being pressed further onto the bed.

“And you, my glow bug, showed me so much,” deft fingers worked at his shirt, pushing the clothing up.  “What love is.  I love this,” a hand against his chest, he could only hope Astarion felt his heart racing.  “Feeling how much I affect you.  How much I love you.”

What light they had in the room was overshadowed by the glow, the chuckle against his lips.  “Hmmm,” the brief nip to his bottom lip.  “How long can you keep that glow up, my love?  I think we need to test it out.”

The weight against disappeared, he made a sound of disappointment, wanting to reach out and stop Astarion.  Instead, Everett watched as the elf took care of removing his shirt, setting the clothing to the side and working on his pants.  Heart shifting into overdrive, fabric being parted and pushed down.  Folded and placed with the shirt.  If he didn’t know Astarion he would have thought the elf oozed confidence.  He could see the brief hesitation, as though the man was fighting with himself.

“You don’t have to do anything, Astēr, this is for you,” Everett sat up on the bed, slipping off to make room for Astarion.  Keeping his eyes on the man’s face, Everett knelt on the floor next to the bed.  Biting the inside on his cheek, excitement racing through his veins

“I do like you on your knees,” the hum of approval, Astarion stepping up closer to him, pausing to rub at the base of one horn.  Unable to swallow back the moan, Everett leaned in to nose at the man’s hip.  Pressing a light kiss, running his hand up one bare leg, he stole a look up at Astarion.  Eyebrows pinched, lips that he loved to taste were parted and that wicked tongue that darted out to lick a bottom lip.  Trailing his lips to the side, taking time to nuzzle at the fine hair trailing down his abdomen before breathing in more of Astarion’s scent.  He would have loved to bathe in his scent before they had gotten into the water, etch that scent into his mind and lungs.  

Reaching for the rapidly hardening flesh, Everett looked up one last time for permission.  The nod and silent ‘yes’  before taking Astarion into his mouth.  A muffled moan at the feel of fingers in his hair, sliding and rubbing against the base of his horns.  Unable to think past the dick in his mouth, pleasure racing and setting fire to his nerves, he let his fingers wander.

Up pale skin, mapping where he couldn’t see as his tongue traced along the underside of Astarion’s cock.  Slowly bobbing his head, taking the hard flesh deeper, swallowing Astarion as deep as he could.  The curse  from above, fingers tightening in his hair and around his horns.  Head being jerked upwards, Everett looked up to see the curl of Astarion’s upper lip.  Was he saying something?  Barely able to hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears, he could only blink before pulling back and off far enough to keep his lips close to the head of Astarion’s cock.

“Is there something wrong, Astēr?”

“No,” a deep breath, eyes holding his and the shake of a pale head.  “I’m enjoying this.  I want to ask you something.”

“Anything,” he gave the flesh in front of him a brief nuzzle of his nose before pushing himself to his feet.  Already missing the weight and taste on his tongue, Everett leaned in as Astarion reached for his horns once more.

“You don’t have to muffle your voice here, be as loud as you want,” lips close to his ear, biting down hard on his bottom lip as the pads of fingertips teased him.

Swallowing down the moan, he nodded, releasing his hold on his bottom lip.

“Before that, since you enjoy suck me off,” he caught the smirk in Astarion’s voice, fighting to keep his eyes open with each rub against his horn.

“And you enjoy my horns just as much,” Everett struggled to keep the begging out of his voice.  “Ah- shit, Astēr!” he swallowed, wanting to reach out and touch the man.  Pull him close and swallow Astarion’s moans.  “I- I think you need to ask your question soon or,” he licked at his upper lip, knees feeling like they’ll cave under him.  Struggling to pull at what strength he had left, Everett tried not to let go.  “I won’t be able to answer.  Y- you’re going to make me cum.”

“Darling, seeing you like that would be even better.  Letting loose, coming undone with just your horns?  And all without taking your clothes off,”  A hum of happiness before fingers withdrew from his horns with a whine from his throat.  “I wanted to ask, since you seem to enjoy tasting me, would you-” Astarion paused, the confidence he had been showing fumbled, that red gaze of his sliding away from him and he knew what Astarion was alluding to.

“I can and,” Everett leaned in to give Astarion’s lips a lick, “I would love to.  Though I need to trim my nails before anything more than eating you,” he couldn’t stop the smile from crossing his lips at the look Astarion gave him.  Heart tripping at what the man had silently been asking him, more ways to taste his lover and with permission?  “Get comfortable, Astēr, because I’m going to enjoy the meal.”

–

Heavy breathing muffled the sounds that Astarion was making, leaving him straining to hear the sounds that he wrought from the man.  Working his tongue past the ring of muscle, his hand cupping Astarion’s still hard dick in his palm.  The push back against him, he could hear the faint curse that resembled his name.  Wishing he could sink his fingers into Astarion’s body like the man had asked, Everett settled for curling his fingers around the hard cock in his palm.  Rubbing his fingertips against the swollen head, liquid beading at the tip, trickling down.  Nuzzling his nose against pale skin, he pulled his tongue free to give the slick hole one last lick as he caught the whimper from Astarion as the man tried to look over his shoulder at him.  

“I wish you could see how beautiful you are,” Everett murmured into Astarion’s skin, moving his hand, urging the man to thrust into his hand.  “Trusting me, I love this- you so much,” his tongue licked once more at the spit slicked hole, speaking against skin  “To give you pleasure, give you everything.”

A sound that could be his name, the sudden movement and the rough hand in his hair.  Strength from the hand, his face being pushed into Astarion’s ass.

“You’re talking too much,” Astarion hissed, between clenched teeth, shooting him a glare.  “Get that tongue back in me, darling.”

Chuckling against, Everett hummed out an agreement.  Working his hand, determined to make the elf ride his face as he came.  Slipping his tongue back in, wishing for more; to take the man or have the man take him. To lick up the essence and memorize his taste, swallow and be the one to be there for him.  To show Astarion that he deserves to walk in the sun.

With renewed determination, his free hand slipped up to cup at the man’s taunt balls.  He could hear Astarion speaking, briefly wondering if it was to stop.  Attempting to pull back, fingers tightening even further in his hair, the press back against his face stronger now.  Everett closed his eyes and let the sound of Astarion’s voice wash over him as he worked to give the elf the pleasure and love he felt.

__

He could feel the shift of Astarion in his arms, pulling him from the light sleep he had fallen into.  The excitement from the night before, the taste that had flooded his tongue as he brought Astarion over the edge several times.  Letting Astarion feed as he got the elf off, making sure the man watched him lick the cum off his hands and stomach.  He had momentarily forgotten about his thoughts from the night before and now said thoughts were back, plaguing him once more.

Of what his patron reminded him the night before.  Of Axaros and the knowledge of what he was working on; not completed, that he knew of but hopefully close.  Maybe if he were to ask Gale or one of his friends if they knew how long items left behind at Candlekeep were kept.  A sleepy sound pulled him from his thoughts, Astarion pressing back against him.  Burying his face against the back of the man’s head, the softness of his hair and scent.

Maybe that could wait, they weren’t in any hurry after all and they did deserve the rest.  Still, he couldn’t hold this type of information inside for much longer.  Resisting the urge to close his eyes and fall back into sleep with Astarion in his arms, Everett pulled away and slipped out of the bed

“You’re thinking too much, darling.  Just out with it,” he caught the sigh as Astarion rolled over to face him, the blanket slipping down to bare his chest.

“I remembered something, last night,” Everett began, feeling nervous.  Which was absolutely ridiculous considering where his mouth and tongue had been.  Fingers itching to do something, running through his hair as he started to pace.  Chancing a look at Astarion, the glow the vampire had to him and the expression on his face had him freezing in his tracks  Steeling himself, taking a deep breath as he squared his shoulders.

“How do you feel about breaking into Candlekeep?”

Astarion stared at him for a moment, eyes wide before his shoulders started shaking as he laughed.  Everett watched, feeling a little numb at the response before Astarion gave him a pointed look, head tilted to the window before he understood.  The sun was quickly rising and the curtains were wide open.  Moving to close the curtains, grabbing the wooden barrier from around the bath to block what sunlight slipped through the curtains.

“Where is this coming from?  I didn’t think you would suggest Candlekeep,” blankets slipping down to slim hips and the flaccid dick he had sucked on earlier.  He tried not to stare, wanting nothing more to crawl back into the bed.  He caught the look that crossed Astarion’s face, the man knew exactly what he was thinking about.  Shaking his head, Everett moved back to the bed, sitting on the edge before scooting closer to Astarion.  He should have just stayed in bed.

“That’s the thing, Astēr.  Axaros was working on something to help his husband and son,” Everett confided, holding out his hand in his lap as an open offer for the elf to take.  “He didn’t tell me a whole lot, but what he did tell me made it easy to guess.  He was away from home that night, when Rowan and Arawn were attacked.”

He watched as Astarion eyed his hand for a moment, reaching out to clasp his hand.  Giving the hand a gentle squeeze, Everett continued.

“He was working on a way to allow Rowan and Arawn to walk in the sun again.  His husband and son had fallen into such despair after they were turned, Axaros couldn’t bear it.  Before he got a chance to actually finish it their neighbors took it upon themselves to punish the two for something they didn’t want.”

“Are you sure this is actually true?”  Astarion asked as he composed himself, watching him with interest.

“As much as I can remember, yes,” Everett nodded.  “He didn’t elaborate what went into it.  But whenever I was in his quarters, he had notes, journals and scrolls scattered around his room.  This- this could be what can help you be in the sun again,” pressing his lips and holding the hand gently, he watched as a range of emotions cross Astarion’s face.

“Was it Cazador that attacked them?”  The venom in Astarion’s voice didn’t bother him, though he didn’t wince when Astarion’s grip on his hand tightened.

Everett shook his head.  “I doubt it, Axaros mentioned that they had a home outside of Elturel.  He never mentioned someone by that name to me.  But if his journals and notes are still there, we could use them.”

Astarion made a sound of agreement, though his expression didn’t change.

“Given how long it’s been, do you think they’d still have his notes?”

He shrugged, unsure of how to answer.  “I can only guess that they packed everything up for a family member to claim his property.  That’s why I wondered if you’d be up for breaking into Candlekeep.”

“Darling, it’s been too long since we’ve done something big like that,” the sigh as Astarion pushed him on his back to crawl over him.  “We should start off small, like getting into Gale’s tower, hmmm?”

Everett held his breath, watching as Astarion just settled down against him with a sound of relief, enjoying the weight of his lover against him.  A nuzzle against his neck, the lick at skin as he brought his arms around Astarion.  “Sure, let’s do that.  Right now, I think we’ve earned this rest.”

“Don’t think that’s all we’re doing,” Astarion mumbled into his neck as he drifted off to sleep once more.  Everett hummed out a sound, closed his eyes and pushed back the thoughts of Candlekeep.  The plans they would have to come up with could wait, he would take cuddling Astarion over trekking across the wilderness any time.