I’m fighting my desires, no matter how much I tell myself I can’t give in

Title: I’m fighting my desires, no matter how much I tell myself I can’t give in
Rating: NC-17
Series: Sex Pistols, Red Dead Redemption
Part of: Trying something new won’t kill you, until your imagination runs wild.  Set after I’m getting pulled in but before Sometimes hope is being encased in someone’s mouth and sometimes it’s somewhere else
Beta: None, all mistakes are my own
Warnings: This series completely ignores the ending of Red Dead Redemption, I just want some John and Shirou smut with some sort of plot mixed in.
Notes: He didn’t mean to hurt Shirou’s feelings, but he can’t help but remember what he saw in the barn.  And when he comes to apologize, John gets a confession and a front view of how his scent turns Shirou on so much.  Italics are Japanese as Shirou slips into his native tongue while intoxicated by John’s scent.

No matter how much he worked on trying to forget what he witnessed in the barn, his brain had other ideas, continuing to replay the scene and the echoing of Shirou’s voice in his ears.  Nothing he tried allowed him to forget the fact that he watched the man jack off to his name.  Or the fact that his imagination wouldn’t stop him from thinking of other possibilities that could happen.

To say the least, it made working with the younger man just a little difficult.  Work around the farm got done a little quicker than if it had been just him and uncle.  But when Shirou spoke, getting a little closer than he usually would, his mind would supply him with what he saw.  The questions Shirou would ask, a brief touch of a hand against his arm.  Snapping over a simple question, leaving the male confused and more than a little hurt, turning to work in tense silence

Despite his behavior, the treatment and the silence that built between them, it wouldn’t take long before Shirou would swallow back the hurt and try to approach him again.  A question about what they were working on or how to use a specific tool, nothing about what had happened in the barn.  Not that Shirou had seen him watching.  He was sure that the male didn’t have a clue to the mental torment he had put him through.

Of course he didn’t tell Abigail about what he saw, dropping the grinding stones on the mantelpiece, the knife following beside it.  Ignoring the sound of Abigail’s voice, the demand to know why he wasn’t sharpening that damned knife.  At the time he had bitten back what he wanted to say, wishing for a hard drink to forget what he had seen.  To forget how much his body had stirred and throbbed, it was under the covers of his bed that he released the pent up passion.  Abigail didn’t question it, enjoying the act, though voicing when he lost a little control, choking out an apology before he came.

Pushing back his thoughts of the male and his wayward interest in him, John tipped his hat back enough, squinting his eyes as the glare of the sun hit the metal work.  The engine that lay before him and the fretting woman behind him, irritating him further as heated steam blew his way.  “I don’t know what I can do, ma’am. I don’t know anything about engines, so there’s nothing I can do other than offer you a ride back into Blackwater.  Maybe there’s someone there that can fix your vehicle,” John offered as he stood up, dusting his hands on his pants, smearing the grease that lingered on his skin.  He didn’t voice to the woman about the rarity of finding someone that knows their way around a car was slim.

He caught the look that crossed the young woman’s face as she glanced around the empty dirt road and fields, the cows that he had been herding with Shirou were settling in the fresh pasture that the younger male had herded them to.  Catching the wrinkling of a nose, he didn’t have to even guess what she was thinking.

“Are you sure you can’t just-” a wave of a hand towards the car as she pleaded “fix it? I mean, how hard can it be?”

Gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath, John counted to ten before releasing his breath, it wouldn’t do him any good to snap at the woman.  “Well, ma’am, if I do attempt to fix it and end up doing more damage, will you be blaming me?  I have more important work to do than just messing with your expensive toys, let alone the funds for it.”  Turning away from the broken vehicle and the woman, John scanned the fields, spotting the figure returning, his horse slowing behind on a rope tether.  Suppressing the feelings rising at the sight, though John chalked it up to gratitude.

“Well,” the hesitant reply as the woman figured before giving in, “fine, but you better not lay a finger on my person,” the huffed reply as the woman crossed her arms, turning her nose up at him and the dirty clothes he wore.  It was easy to read what the woman wasn’t saying.  Shaking his head at the woman’s attitude, stepping around her and towards Shirou and the horse he pulled behind him.  Flashing the younger male a look, inclining his head in thanks before approaching his horse and pulled himself onto his saddle with a silent sigh of relief.

“Should we head back towards home?”  Shirou asked, shifting in his seat a little while ignoring the woman that stood a few feet away.  He caught the slight tightening of hands on reins along with the press of lips when he hesitated, pale eyes darting from him to the woman for a moment and then back.

John shook his head, answering silently before speaking . “Unfortunately, this woman needs a ride into Blackwater. And she doesn’t want to ride with me,” John said, watching with amusement as Shirou’s face froze before scowling. Under the dusty hat the younger male wore, he caught the narrowing of eyes and the tsk under his breath as the woman stepped close to Shirou and the blue roan he rode.

Watching as a hand was held out for the woman, grasping her hand gently and pulling her up to sit side saddle along the horse’s haunches, John ignored the twisting of his gut at the sight.  Silently berating himself for being foolish, he turned his horse onto the road to Blackwater and waited for the younger male to catch up.  When the blue roan reached his side, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Shirou and the look of displeasure.

“What’re looking so upset about?”  He asked as casually as he could, catching the movements of the woman’s hands on Shirou’s hips, the curling of fingers along the fabric as though she wanted to touch bare skin.  John couldn’t name the feeling that started to twist inside at the sight, looking up to catch the uncomfortable look on Shirou’s face.

The opening of a mouth, starting before stopping himself with a shake of a head.

“I’ll tell you later, okay?” Shirou offered, leaning forward just enough to keep the woman from pressing her chest against his back.  He didn’t catch the murmured words that Shirou sent over his shoulder, only the stiffening of shoulders and the hands that withdrew, lingering on to keep from being jostled off.  The look of disappointment crossed the woman’s face before she pressed her lips and waited until they reached Blackwater.

John could only muse to why the woman made Shirou uncomfortable, though it wasn’t that much of a stretch.  His mind went to the memories of cabin, the heat of a mouth on his cock and the sound of Shirou coming in his hand.  The echoing of the male’s voice in his ears had him shaking his head, pushing away the memories to focus on what was important at the moment and getting the herd back to the farm before night fell.

The ride into town was made in silence, nodding to those few that gave them a warm greeting and the few that sent them an untrusting look, unsavory words hissed under their breath as they passed.  The few motor cars that Blackwater had were serviced by a lone shop and the owner that fancied himself a mechanic.

“This is it, ma’am,” John drawled softly, climbing down from his saddle to approach the blue roan, holding his hand out to help the woman down, seeing her eyes dart from him to Shirou and back.  “This place will be able to help you with your motor car, much better than I can.”  He gave the woman a nod, knowing that it wasn’t her fault that the vehicle had broken down, after what he had seen and rode nearly a year ago, he still didn’t trust those machines.

“Well, I-” the swallow before she sighed and gave him a small smile, “thank you.”  Giving them a look, she thanked them before stepping towards the building.

“I may be a bad man, ma’am, but I have a heart.  Be careful next time you’re out, okay?” He warned, climbing back up on his horse.  “There might not be an honest person there to help you.”

John didn’t wait for a response from the woman, turning his horse back on the road while Shirou followed suit, the sounds of hoofs and the sigh of relief from the younger male filled the silence.  Waiting for something from Shirou before clearing his throat.  “So, are you gonna tell me what had you so upset earlier?  Normally a man would welcome the feel of firm breasts against their back.”  He chuckled at the look the dark haired male shot him.

“It wasn’t that hard to pick up the lingering scent that clung to her,” Shirou muttered, scowling at his amusement. “But the fact that she was carrying the scent of another told me that she was taken,” Shirou tried to explain, giving John a look.  “That’s why she was offended. I didn’t take her up on her offer.”

“You can tell that from just from sniffing her?”  John found himself asking, unable to fully believe what Shirou was saying.  How could anyone tell just by their smell?

“Well, yes,” Shirou answered, “that woman was- is a dog-” Shirou caught himself, seeing John’s shoulders shake at the implied insult.  “Not like that,” he chuckled, “she’s a madararui like you and me.  Though from her size, she’s a lightweight.  Her husband or partner, is a regular human,” Shirou said, eyes watching John’s expression as the older man pressed his lips, thinking quietly before narrowing his eyes at him.

“Then how did she know that you’re a-” John paused, trying to find the right word.

“That I’m of madararui blood?  When I’m out working with you- helping and everything, I don’t try to hide what I am.  By being close to you,” Shirou could feel the heat rise to his cheeks in embarrassment as he admitted, “I try to divert attention from you to me.  Your soul hasn’t revealed itself, so your pheromones and scent haven’t been released to call out to anyone.  So unless someone is up close to you, they can’t catch the unique scent that clings to you.” Shirou swallowed thickly, fighting back the rising heat on his face, wanting nothing more than to climb up behind John and breath in the scent that hooked him.  “Normally, depending on your status and level you are, you’ll either hide what you are or flaunt your power to look for a lover and mate.”

“So, like regular people, right?  Humans, I mean,” John asked, still wondering if the younger man was telling him the truth or just completely bullshitting him.

“Well, yeah.  There’s some couples that marry for love and others do it to ensure healthy and strong offspring.  Some will enter in either an arranged marriage or a breeding session, all in the hopes of continuing their bloodlines.  The lower status you are, the higher fertility you have.  From there, it changes to the point that it’s harder to conceive a child with how higher up you are.”

John turned away from Shirou to look across the open fields, his mind trying to wrap around what the male was saying.  “You’re not-” he sighed, glancing back towards Blackwater, wondering if something cold to drink would be able to help him fully grasp what Shirou was saying.

“It’s easier to understand if it’s broken down into levels.  The lowest rank is reserved for those who are the smallest.  Small cats, dogs and some snakes.  Those- they’re known as lightweights.  Though they’re on the bottom, their fertility is higher than the other ranks.  They have a higher chance to have multiple offspring than those of middleweights and higher,” Shirou licked his lips and wished he had something to stop the cotton mouth feeling.

“For each tier, the balance shifts.  The higher you are, the lower your fertility becomes.  Your soul and strength become more powerful, your sex appeal goes up.  And despite the fact that their fertility is lower, the heavyweights are popular choices to mate with.”

Shirou could feel John’s gaze on him, knowing that his cheeks were flushed red.  He could only imagine the twisting of lips as the retrograde took in what he explained, most likely being disgusted.  Biting down on his lower lip on hesitation, Shirou chanced a look at John.  Brows furrowed and lips pressed into a frown.

“Should I continue? I know it’s-”

“It sounds like y’all are obsessed with sex,” John sighed, interrupting Shirou.  “There’s more to life than just fucking other people.”

“Well, that’s true, I suppose,” Shirou mused, “though they- we really don’t see it that way.  While it’s easier for regular humans to have children, it could take certain people months or even years to conceive a child, if they’re lucky to get pregnant.  Besides madararui have lower modesty than humans.  They don’t look down at others who enjoy having sex, as long as the two, or more,” Shirou licked at his bottom lip, feeling a shiver of heat running through him, “are enjoying the act.”

“After all that, it still sounds like shit.  If you know all this, what’re you?  What the hell am I? I-” the hesitation before John shook his head.  “It doesn’t matter, there’s more important things that needs to be done than just sitting here and chatting about this messed up stuff.”  Tugging at the reins in his hand, guiding his horse away from the road, towards Beecher’s Hope and away from Shirou.

“If you really want to know, I don’t mind telling you-” Shirou tried, watching as John continued, holding up a hand to stop him.

“Watch the cows and keep an eye out for any cattle rustlers.  Herd them in when the sun starts to set,” John tossed over his shoulder as he fought with the curiosity that ate at him.  The less he got involved in the mess and the younger male, the better.  Even if he did want to know more.  He couldn’t risk losing his family again.

Shifting in his saddle as disappointment filled him, Shirou watched as the older man and his horse disappears over a hill.  Releasing the breath he had been holding, Shirou cursed under his breath.  Why was he trying to help the man out if he didn’t want help to begin with?  Even if John was the first one to show him kindness, he shouldn’t be trying to help the man understand madararui if he doesn’t want to.  Risking the chance of other madararui thinking he was trying to muscle in on their territory.

Shaking his head at his own foolishness, Shirou let his mind wander while he kept his gaze on the grazing herd, determined not to let John’s careless words bother him.  If the older male didn’t want to know, why should he worry?

____________

Despite his thoughts, Shirou found himself searching through his bag later that night, his shadow dancing along the walls from the lit oil lamp on the wooden desk.  The book that he knew he had thrown in there before he had rushed out of his family home, the old cover showing its age, find it under the clothes and on top what jewelry and valuables he had placed inside.  The smooth brush strokes that read out the title, trailing his fingers over the smooth cover before taking the few steps to his desk.

It had been the last book that his tutor had given him, so long ago.  Swallowing past the tightening of his throat, easily remembering the lesson, one to test his ability to read in his language and translate what he had read into English.  Chewing on his lip at the ache that grew, reminding him how alone he was, even if John’s family welcomed him enough to allow him to stay.  Opening the book slowly, eyes traveling down the neatly printed kanji, Shirou lost himself in the pages from his childhood.

It would be a coughing of a throat and the sound of Jack voice calling that pulled him from reading and the memories of his past, the book he had been holding fell to the desk with a soft clatter.  A muttered apology as  Jack stepped further into the barn and approached him.  The door closing softly behind him, a look of curiosity mixed with apprehension on his face as his eyes darted from the book on the desk to him.

“I don’t mean to interrupt your reading, but my ma wanted to know if you’ll be joining us. For supper, I mean.” Jack asked, looking back to the book.

Breathing in silently, hiding his disappointment. It wasn’t Jack’s fault, he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up.  “No, I-” he swallowed before turning to Jack.  He should be thinking further about this instead of outright asking. “I’m not hungry, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”  Licking his lips in nervousness, closing the book he had been reading and handed it to the teen . Watching as Jack opened the book and slowly turned the pages, brows knit in confusion as he struggled to understand words and symbols that he had never seen in his life.

“I was wondering if you could help me translate this book,” Shirou admitted when Jack looked up from the book, giving him a look before handing it back to him. Shirou could see the curiosity on Jack’s face, along with hesitation and disbelief before the teen spoke.

“Why don’t you do it yourself?”

“It’s well,” he scratched the back of his neck and knew he had to get over his embarrassment, “I- I’m not very good with writing English. I can write my name, but I could never write properly enough for some one to read and understand it.” Shirou admitted, looking away from Jack and the intense gaze the young male held. He couldn’t help wondering if Jack is like John, unaware of what he and his father were before pushing away his thoughts, there was no point in getting to get close to the family.

A moment of silence before Jack stepped away and shook his head. “I’d like to, but I don’t think I should. Pa would be sore at me for neglecting my chores,” a sad smile before the teen made his way to the door. “Maybe some other time, okay?”

The door closed before Shirou could answer, leaving the wolf feeling worse than before. Why did everything have to backfire on him? Rubbing at the side of his face in frustration, looking back at the book he had offered Jack before blowing out the oil lamp. Finding his way to his bed in the dark, Shirou curled up and closed his eyes, wishing once more that he was back home. Even if his only family was gone, at least he would be in familiar territory. And near the one who broke his heart. Taking in a shuddering breath, Shirou forced the want away.  Knowing that wanting anything in life is just inviting trouble.

The cloudless night sky welcomed him after several hours of rough sleep, closing the barn door behind him as he stepped barefoot along the dirt path.  The slow crooning of crickets covered what sounds he created, ignoring the chill in the wind as the low howl of wolves from the forest, keeping their distance but wanting so much to approach and defend their territory.  Listening closely, Shirou caught a few yips, most likely from over excited pups and felt his lips twitch in a smile at what he pictured.  At this moment, he didn’t have to explain himself to anyone. Didn’t have to pretend that he was alright being alone in this land, didn’t have to pretend that he wasn’t interested in someone who was taken.  Only the hanging moon seemed to know his secrets and didn’t care that he didn’t belong.

The cloudless night sky welcomed him after several hours of rough sleep, closing the barn door behind him as he stepped barefoot along the dirt path.  The slow crooning of crickets covered what sounds he created, ignoring the chill in the wind as the low howl of wolves from the forest, keeping their distance but wanting so much to approach and defend their territory.  Listening closely, Shirou caught a few yips, most likely from over excited pups.  He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone right now, under the hanging moon.  Didn’t have to pretend that he was alright being alone in this land, didn’t have to pretend that he wasn’t interested in someone who was taken.

Under the low moon, following the dirt path up the hill and away from the temporary home, one that will disappear when John got tired of him.  Digging his toes in the loose dirt and what grass that had started to grow, Shirou pushed away the negative thoughts that plagued him.  Leaning back against the wooden fence that separated the plains and Beecher’s Hope, Shirou gazed up at the stars and swirls of the universe.  Catching movement in the dark and the familiar outline of the older male as he approached, the moonlight giving him just enough to see the bare chest and the pants that hung low on his hips.

Swallowing back a sound at the sight, pulling his legs closer to his chest, Shirou struggling not to fidget under John’s gaze.

“What’re you doing out here so late?”  John asked, kneeling down just a few feet from him, reaching into his pocket to pull out a cigarette and the strike of a match, the flare of light that shadowed John’s face as he light his cigarette before shaking it out.

Before Shirou could answer John’s question, he caught the shaking of the older man’s head.  “I guess I should apologize for earlier for not listening.  I just,” John shook his head, looking down at the ground, “all that talk about casual sex, reminding me of how I used to be.  Before I married Abigail.  And it’s just so much to fully understand, I-”  John took a deep breath, releasing it through his nose while the tip of his tongue traced his upper lip.  “All the attention you’ve been giving me, it’s a little unsettling.  I love Abigail and would do anything to keep her safe.  I won’t deny that I’m intrigued.  You,” the swallow and the leaning towards him, a sniff that he caught and could only imagine what John was thinking, “stir something inside me that I shouldn’t acknowledge.”  The long drag of the cigarette before smoke was blown out with a huff, “but since I interrupted you earlier, I was wondering if you could continue.”  The request was murmured, just loud enough for him to hear, but low enough so if there were others around, they wouldn’t hear.

The wolf bit his lower lip, looking down at his toes in the dirt before glancing up at John.  He couldn’t help the blooming of feelings in his chest, the stirring of want as his body tingled.  Catching the loud sniff and the turn of a head, the glowing tip of the cigarette becoming brighter while the older male struggled not to lean in closer.

“Before anything, what is with you smelling like that?  You don’t smell like a normal person,” a mutter before fully resting on the ground, “is that why when I found you, you were sniffing me?”

Licking his upper lip, tasting the air and what he could find out, Shirou nodded.  “Yes.  Scent tells so much, if you know how to read it.  Or taste it,” he couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his face at the widening of John’s eyes, a small chuckle rose in his throat.  “There’s something you should know, John.  Being like this, born into a world where you’re different from others, makes it harder to find the right person that soothes your soul.  You, you’re lucky.  You have Abigail and I’ve seen you so happy to be with her.  And I’ve seen the looks she sent you.  I-” Taking a deep breath, Shirou closed his eyes and bared his soul.

“I thought I found the one person that makes me complete, the one who made me feel like I could take on the world and win.  But I never thought he would turn on me.”  Shirou stared down at his knees, wondering if John would believe him.  “The one I loved, turning on me when I needed him the most.  To be sold to the family that ruled the country and used to their whims,” Shirou tried to stop the trembling the started to run through his body.  “Scent that every madararui releases helps us identify and find those that would become our partners.  In the world that you grew up with, John, is similar.  The only difference is that your world is easier on finding your partner and lover.”

Shirou paused, glancing up through his lashes to see the set frown on the older man’s face.  “When you see me sniff and catch your scent, it’s almost like it’s familiar.  Comforting and settles my soul in a way that I haven’t felt in years,” Shirou took a chance and moved, leaning in close enough to catch the smell of the older man’s skin and musk, the hint of something he couldn’t place.  Breathing in, Shirou couldn’t suppress the whine that rumbled in his chest.  Couldn’t stop moving and finding himself straddling John’s lap as the returner to ancestry’s scent thickened around him.

“It makes me want to give in,”  the whimper as Shirou trailed his hand down John’s neck, “such a thick scent, an alpha in his prime.  Such strength that your scent is giving off, hmmm,” a low moan as his soul escaped, baring himself to the older man.  Shirou could feel his cock twitch and fill, wanting nothing more than to be pushed down and fucked.  To be dominated by this returner to ancestry.  Reaching up to pull the cigarette from John’s lips, pushing it into the dirt before licking at the male’s bottom lip, tracing the seam of the slightly chapped lips.  Unable to help himself, losing himself in the fire that built up inside him, Shirou grabbed the hand that had been slowly moving towards his chest and brought it downward.

Deep down Shirou knew he couldn’t get carried away. Couldn’t risk this temporary home for a moment of unimaginable pleasure with someone who was already spoken for.  Despite his thoughts, he found himself pushing himself against the hand he held, rubbing his cloth covered flesh against John’s palm.  The groan that escaped his lips resembled the older man’s name, a plea for more.

“See?”  He panted against John’s lips, struggling to speak through the haze that the male’s scent has created in his head, struggling to keep his eyes open to look into John’s.  “Your scent alone is intoxicating alone.  So overpowering and telling me to submit to you,” a low whine as a hand crept up to cup the back of his head while finger tips rubbed against the base of his ears, “your scent alone tells me so much.”  A low moan as the rubbing continued along his ears, fingers pressing against his straining flesh.  Dropping his head on John’s shoulder, rubbing his cheek against the stubble that covered the older man’s skin, trembling as he slipped back into his native tongue, confessing his desires to John without him knowing what he was saying.

“You have no idea, John, of how much you turn me on.  Your scent alone makes me want to bend over for you.  Make you come from just my mouth.  I want you to fuck me.”

Shirou shuddered as he rubbed, lips whispering his confessions into the male’s ear.  Tasting the sweat that dotted the sun soaked skin, pheromones that the male wasn’t aware that he was releasing, everything he could taste on his tongue.  Muffling a sound of a surprise as the hand that had been cupping his cock slipped around, tugging at his pants to rub at the base of his tail.  If only the fingers that teased his tail would move down, push in and touch him in the way he touched himself, imagining the older male fucking him.

Pushing against John’s lap, feeling the responding hardness, Shirou’s lips found purchase against John’s neck.  A brief suck, licking at the male’s neck before taking control of the hand at the base of his tail.

“This is what I want,” Shirou murmured against John’s skin, hearing the thick swallow and a heavy groan as Shirou pushed the older man’s fingers past the curve of his ass to the hole he wanted the man to fuck.  “You don’t know how many times over the past few weeks that I wanted you to touch me.”  Biting down on his lower lip as rough fingertips teased his hole, hoping that once he let go of John’s hand that the male would continue.  Sink into him, not just his fingers but the hard flesh he could feel under those clothes.

Uttering a low whine when he gave the hand a gentle shove, feeling a thick finger pushing inside his body.  Struggling to hold himself upright when all he wanted to do was to slump over and ride that finger until a second one joined, Shirou lifted his head, catching the flush that dusted John’s cheeks.  What light there was allowed him to catch the glazing of dark eyes, the scent that had originally pulled him in became thicker, blossoming to something he never thought he would ever catch, especially from one that already had a partner.  It was harder to fight the urge to just push the returner to ancestry’s down and just fuck himself on John’s cock.  A sharp whine that trailed off to a low trill as a second finger pushed against the first, sinking deeper.

Skipping his tongue past parted lips, tasting the lingering cigarette before kissing the male liked he wanted.  He wasn’t expecting John to participate, it was enough for him that John was allowing him such a chance, but when he felt a tongue pushing against his, he couldn’t stop the sound of surprise.

“Do it,” he pleaded when he pulled back, biting down on scarred lips, “push your fingers inside me.   Fuck me with them and make me come,” pushing back against the fingers, riding them slowly.  Through his sweaty bangs, watching John as his brow furrowed, pulling his two fingers out to tug at the clothing that hindered further movement.

Pushing himself away just enough, trembling hands quickly working at the stubborn fastenings of his pants.  Cursing under his breath as the buttons slipped from his grasp, a sound of relief when John slapped his hands away to pull and tug the clothing down to his knees.  Biting down on the inside of his cheek, moving as much as he could with his legs restricted, Shirou reached for John.  Curling his fingers under the male’s chin, taking swollen lips in a kiss, moaning into it as John’s fingers pushed back inside with more force.  Hissing in a breath, licking along the edges of the older man’s teeth, Shirou rode back against the thrusting fingers in the hopes that they’d brush up against that one spot that he knew he had.

It took everything he had to form the words, dying to tell John to push deeper and harder.  Sharp teeth finding his bottom lip, the tugging as dark eyes narrowed at him, grunting out an answer with a twist of his wrist, a snarl crossed his face as fingertips found what he wanted.

Ripping his head away to cry silently, clenching his teeth as pleasure raced up his spine with every push and rub.  This was what he wanted, needed this as much as he needed his next breath.  To ride John’s fingers in a way he wanted the male’s cock.  Stealing lips once more, moving his hand between their bodies to rub the hard flesh that pushed against him.  Curling his fingers around the formed flesh, feeling the twitching and the sound of disappointment the rumbled out as his hand moved upward, following the light trail of hair up.  The raised scars under his fingertips, the heavy beating of a heart and the look of uncertainty that crossed the older man’s face.  Shirou didn’t have to voice, didn’t have to guess what John was thinking and worrying.

Biting down on his lower lip as John pushed his fingers in deeper, ignoring the twinging of pain from the lack of lubrication that would help the movement.  Keeping his hand on John’s chest, he slipped the other between them, curling around his hard flesh.  Tossing his worries aside for the moment, barely able to muffle the loud cry as fingertips found his prostate.  Licking his lips, chancing a glance at John and the widening of dark eyes.

“A-again, John,” Shirou leaned in to kiss a corner of his lover’s lips, following the scruff to trace, “it- AH-”  Barely to stop the shout at the press of fingers, the look of satisfaction that crossed John’s face.  The man looked so proud of himself.

Struggling to catch his breath as his hand continued, pushing back against the fingers inside, Shirou had to bite down on the inside of cheek when a hand swatted away his, replacing it with quick and rapid movements.  For a brief moment, Shirou thought he caught a glimpse of John’s soul, the shimmering that struggled to show through before the sharp bite on his chest, a grunt and the scent that took over.

The shout as he came, shuddering in John’s arms as the hand on his cock continued to milk him, whimpering when John pulled his hand away from his body to stare at the rapidly cooling cum on his fingers while his fingers slid free of the grasp Shirou’s body had on them.  Body still trembling, trying to rein in his out of control breath, Shirou chuckled.

“H-” swallowing the younger male tried again, “I haven’t had that much pleasure in years,” a smile crossed his face, feeling the heat become more prominent across his cheeks.

The silence grew, the wolf waited for some sort of reaction from John, other than the puzzled look on his face.

“John?”  Shirou ventured, leaning back as the puzzlement look slid away, only to be replaced by a look that resembled disappointment and regret.  Steeling himself, Shirou pushed himself to his feet and bit his tongue at the twinge of pain from his backside.  When the older man stayed silent, Shirou took a deep breath and pulled up his pants while John finally moved, wiping his cum covered fingers on the sparse grass.

“You don’t have to say anything, John,” a forced smile, the casual tone fake, “this is my fault.  Again,” he didn’t fight the blush that rose on his cheeks, shame filling him for taking advantage on an unwilling person.  “Do you remember earlier today?  When you asked me what you are- what I am.  You didn’t let me finish.  But if you’re still interested,” Shirou paused for a moment, watching as John licked his lips, glancing at him and then a short nod.

“Yeah, I would,” John’s voice low and rough, bringing his newly wiped hand to his nose, sniffing at the lingering scent.  The shadows couldn’t hide the faint coloring of John’s scarred cheeks.

“Then, what I’m going to show you is what I am, what my soul truly is,” the flood of embarrassment at his words.  To do this, bare everything to this man, was something only one did with their lover and partner.  Though John wasn’t anything like that, nothing more than just a friend, Shirou knew that this was something that would help the older man understand what he was talking about.  Taking a deep breath, his ears twitching on top of his head before he closed his eyes and concentrated, forcing his soul out to the world and to the one person who needed to understand a world he hadn’t even known about before he came along.  As his soul settled on it’s outward form, Shirou imagined he heard the sound of surprise, opening his eyes and sitting back on his haunches to gaze that the older male.

“I didn’t think wolves could be this big,” John muttered to himself as he eyed the big creature, leaning forward to get a better look at the canine.  “You didn’t look this big when you were on the back of the horse,” his voiced trailed off as he eyed the wolf before holding out a hand, hesitantly asking of he could touch.  The slight curl of a muzzle and the flash of white before the wolf cocked his head.  Palm outwards, it was the feel of a wet nose against his skin and the rough pull of a tongue in a lick.  Holding back a sound at the feel and the push of a muzzle, moving towards his face.  The wash of warm air and the feel of soft fur against his cheek as the wolf moved closer, resting against his shoulder.  Breathing deeply, catching the smell of the forest and man, everything that the younger male was seemed to be seeped into the animal’s body.  Stilling himself for a moment before he chuckled under his breath, running fingertips through fur that should be coarse, John dropped his head a little in defeat.

“I’ve seen some weird shit in my life.  But I can’t deny what I’m seeing right now.”  A heavy sigh escaping as he looked up to the star covered sky.  “What the hell am I getting myself into?”

Sometimes hope is being encased in someone’s mouth and sometimes it’s somewhere else

Title: Sometimes hope is being encased in someone’s mouth and sometimes it’s somewhere else
Rating: NC-17
Series: Sex Pistols, Red Dead Redemption
Part of: Trying something new won’t kill you, until your imagination runs wild
Beta: None, all mistakes are my own
Warnings: This series completely ignores the ending of Red Dead Redemption, I just want some John and Shirou smut with some sort of plot mixed in.
Notes: John wasn’t expecting to be pinned against the wall of the barn, especially when his side lover wanted nothing more than to suck him off.

The rushing of blood and pounding of his heart filled his ears, barely hearing his harsh breathing as he struggled to see the kneeling figure in front of him.  The thick and heady scent that filled his senses, swimming and drowning his mind as he reached down, combing his fingers through pale hair, rubbing gloved fingertips along base of perked ears.  Feeling the shiver that ran through Shirou’s body, sounds of pleasure muffled by his cock.

Hands sliding up his thighs, fingers curling on the cloth of his pants, desperate to feel skin beneath.  Licking his lips, John chuckled at the sight of his lover, the sound trailing off to a strangled moan as Shirou’s fingers slipped inside his clothing, palming his taunt balls.  Lips wrapped around him, nursing the tip of his flesh while gentle fingers rubbed against him.

“Come on,” John whispered hoarsely, bucking his hips to try to get deeper inside Shirou’s hot mouth, “you just gonna tease me?  Huh?”  Pulling his hand back to tear off his gloves, tossing them to the straw covered floor before returning to slip his fingers through Shirou’s soft hair. Curling the strands around his fingers and urges the male to do it right.  “Not going to suck me properly?”

Fighting back a smirk at the look that Shirou flashed him.  Eyes narrowing, immediately regretting his words as the wolf pulled back.  The cool air hitting his wet cock before Shirou’s fingers wrapped around him, moving slower than before.  A twist of a wrist as the male slowly jerked him off.

“Is that what you want?”  Shirou asked, glancing up to make sure he was watching as lips traced and trailed along his flesh, a flick of a tongue against the crown to catch the slow beading fluid at the tip.  “You want me to suck you?  Fuck my mouth until you come?”

Swallowing thickly at the words, the heavenly mouth moved back, kissing the tip gently, the warm was of breath washing over him as lips ghosted over the sensitive skin, tongue darting out to trace along crown.  Following down to where hands met, sniffing at the wiry hair that dusted his skin.

“Or would you rather fuck me?”  The whisper that he strained to hear, despite what Shirou was doing to his cock, he could hear the faint embarrassment in his lover’s voice.

“Do you want me to?”  John asked, reaching down to haul the male to his feet before cupping Shirou’s ass, feeling the crease between cheeks through the fabric of his pants.  “Have you been thinking about that?  Of me pushing inside?  Playing with yourself?”  He pulled Shirou closer, rubbing against the cloth covered puckered hole.  Chuckling at the answered moan, rubbing his cheek against Shirou’s while his lips found purchase, tasting the salt on the male’s skin.  “I remember it so vividly, your ass spread, taking in that toy and fucking yourself with it.”

Licking along the arched neck, waiting for Shirou’s answer to his teasing.  “Imagining that toy of yours is my cock, pretending that it’s me fucking you.  Do you know how hard that was?  How hard it made me?”  Pulling the male’s shirt from his waistband, slipping a hand down to feel the smooth skin of Shirou’s ass.  “I wanted nothing more then to pull that damned toy of yours out and replace it with my cock.  I wanted to fuck you like I owned you.”

Pushing his fingertips against the twitching hole, barely dipping inside the warmth with teasing touches, mimicking what he was saying.  “I still want to fuck you, I want to smell myself on you.  Fuck you so hard that you can’t ride your horse for days.”  Another lick, teeth nibbling along the juncture of Shirou’s neck, marking the male like he should.  He couldn’t and wouldn’t verbally claim Shirou as his own, but he could leave marks on Shirou’s body to tell off would be suitors.

His gentle fingers pushed in roughly at the thought, possessiveness filling him at the thought of his love even sleeping with someone other than  him.  Hands clutching at his shoulders, a whine escaping from Shirou’s lips as he silently begging for more.  The riding of his fingers as the male tried to take them deeper.

“You’re riding my fingers like the way you like to ride me.  Would you rather have that?  Want to fuck yourself on me instead of me fucking you?”  The question came out as a growl, nipping at Shirou’s chin as the male tipped his head back, baring and offering his throat.  Nosing the bared flesh before pulling his fingers out with ragged sound, pushing the male away.

At the moment he didn’t care that he caused Shirou to stumble, watching as the male caught his balance against the wooden beams of the stall.  He had his answer as Shirou scrambled to push his clothing down just enough to bare his ass, looking around for something before dropping to his knees once more before him.  Hissing in a breath at the warmth that encased him, the swirling of a tongue before his lover pulled back and bent over the wooden beams.

“I-” the choked breath as Shirou’s head dropped, struggling to look over his shoulder.  “Fuck me, John.  Please-”  the reach of a hand, pulling back one cheek to expose the small hole, catching the twitching of muscle, “fuck me like I know you want to!”

Swallowing thickly, John curved himself along Shirou’s back.  Nudging against Shirou’s ass, rubbing and pushing, giving into the desperate whines that trailed into cries as he reached down.  A shallow hitch of a breath, his name riding Shirou’s breath as he pushed further inside.  It took him a moment to catch his own breath as he came to a rest against Shirou’s plush ass.  The slow stretch against his cock as Shirou’s body adjusted to him, gripping him tight.

“Fuck,” a hiss as John slowly pulled back, his cock dragging along the sensitive walls of his lover’s ass, “how are you even this tight?  Tighter than a damned virgin, goddamn unbelievable.”  Pushing back in, the sound of his balls slapping against Shirou’s ass as he started up a rhythm, searching for that one spot that would have the male clawing at him to get more of, reaching back to pull him closer

Losing himself in the tight grip of Shirou’s ass, nosing at the damp strands of hair while his lover’s thick scent filled his nostrils.  John could barely muster his thoughts, latching onto the skin as the pleasure raced through him, giving the male what he had promised.  Feeling as though his heart would burst through his chest, wrapping his arms around Shirou’s chest, pulling the male upright against him.

“Want me deeper?”  A lick up a bare neck, pulling back to hear the sound of displeasure, enjoying the way Shirou tried to push against him, trying to get him to move.  Fingers slowly rubbing along damp skin as his lover tried to fuck himself, pressing his lips in failed attempts to muffle the sounds that bubbled up, stubbornness etched on Shirou’s face.  There were times that when the male refused defeat, leaving him to guess what Shirou wanted from him.  Cursing under his breath, shallow thrusts that teased them both, John caught Shirou’s hand reaching down, watching his lover cup himself.

Harsh breathing as his shallow thrusting increased, pushing the dark canine back over the wood before grasping Shirou’s fleshy ass.  If he couldn’t get the male to answer him, he would just figure it out what Shirou wanted himself.

“If someone were to ask,” John muttered against the sweat drenched skin, tasting the salt on his lips, “that I would end up fucking someone who wasn’t Abiga-”  his words torn off at the sudden tightness as the male pushed back against him.  He didn’t have to guess why Shirou’s sudden aggressiveness, mentioning Abigail’s name while being balls deep inside seemed to set the male off.  A jealous side that Shirou tried to pretend he didn’t have so he could stay by his side.  John briefly wondered if he could do the same, share a lover with someone  else, to be uncertain when their time was over.

Gritting his teeth, arm snaking around, reaching down as he matched Shirou’s rhythm with his own, curling his fingers around the hard flesh that jerked with his movements.  He didn’t want to think of Shirou with another while he was with him, his grip changing when he caught the breathless chanting of his name.  Latching onto the shoulder before him, muffling curses as he came, forcing his cock deeper as he spilled his seed.  Lapping at the small droplets of blood that welled when he pulled away from the hold he had on Shirou’s shoulders.  Hunched and flushed, the pale skin that had tanned and burned under the blistering sun when work out in the field took longer than they had expected.   Giving no thought to what he actually wanted to do to Shirou’s unblemished skin, John cursed when he tried to pull out, catching a pained whine as the male pushed back against him.

“N-not fair,” Shirou begged, pushing away his hand, taking over as the male rocked back on him, “you got to come-” a toss of a head as his lover sent him a displeased look over his shoulder, something that resembled a pout.  Teeth worrying a bottom lip, color darkening across cheeks as Shirou stared at him, keeping his gaze steady as he brought himself off.  Biting down on his cheek, John broke his gaze  from Shirou’s to stare down as his softening cock was worked slowly before the satisfied male pulled away with a sigh of loss.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone pout like you,” John said, stepped back, reaching out to slip his fingers along the small of Shirou’s back and down in between cheeks to the hole he had just fucked.  The heat of Shirou’s body was welcoming as he felt his cum slowly drip out and down the back of the male’s legs.   Licking at his bottom lip, trying to put into words at the sight of his seed dripping down when he caught knowing look the male gave him.

“When you come and don’t get me off, of course I’m going to pout,” Shirou laughed a little, groaning as he reached down to pull his pants back up.  “I wasn’t sure how hard you were gonna do it-“

“It’s not you were answering my questions,” John snorted, looking away from the fabric that soaked up his cum from the back of Shirou’s legs.  There were times that Shirou seemed to be more crass than the prostitutes that ran with the gang, they seemed more impatient to clean up after sex.

“You, well,” Shirou looked away in embarrassment, cheeks flushing more than just minutes before.  “You don’t make it easy to think, you know?  When you push inside,the only thing I can think about is trying to keep you inside me.  To get you deeper and hopefully stay there.  Answering your questions tend to be the last thing on my mind, especially when I want you to fuck me.”

Biting down on the inside of his cheek to hide his surprise, John swallowed past the growing lump in his throat and nodded, not trusting himself to say anything.  He hasn’t expected such a personal answer, let alone knowing that the younger male wanted.  Catching the deeper meaning to Shirou’s words, all John could do was give him a look that he hoped Shirou would understand.  There couldn’t be more to this relationship, no matter how much his lover wished for more than just a physical relationship.

Tucking himself back in, tugging up his pants and fastening the buttons, he couldn’t stop the sigh from escaping at downcast look Shirou wore.  Swollen lips that were licked with a quick swipe of a tongue, it was easy to pick up what his lover wanted.  Giving in, John reach out and turned Shirou’s gaze towards him.  Leaning in, taking the male’s bottom lip between his own for a gentle suck before slipping his tongue past parted lips.

The kiss was brief, lasting for only seconds, but for John, it seemed to last longer with the way the taste of Shirou lingered on his tongue.

I’m getting pulled in

Title: I’m getting pulled in
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Fujiwara Shirou, John Marston, Madarame Yonekuni, John Marston/Fujiwara Shirou
Series: Sex Pistols, Red Dead Redemption
Part of: Trying something new won’t kill you, until your imagination runs wild
Beta: None
Warnings: This series completely ignores the ending of Red Dead Redemption, I just want some John and Shirou smut with some sort of plot mixed in.
Notes: By saving a stranger, John unknowingly brings in someone who stirs up a want he hadn’t experienced since he was in the gang.  Set right after John “meets” Shirou.  You’ll need to read “Everything starts here but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t tear me apart” to fully understand.

The following morning found him waking with a start, eyes snapping open as he looked around, struggling to place where he was and why he wasn’t curled up in bed with Abigail, sharing their warmth during the winter months.  It took him a moment to remember the night before, the argument with Abigail and storming off, saddling his horse and taking off to clear his head.  And of finding the naked male deep in Tall Trees territory.  As well as other activities that should be kept private, no matter how much he enjoyed being sucked off.

The warm to his right, the same spot that the stranger, Shirou, had curled up beside him the night before.  Vaguely remembering the explanation, drifting off to the tales of animal souls.  Reaching out to shake the male away, the feel of thick fur under his hand and fingers, smooth where one would think it should have been coarse and wiry.

Pulling away from the animal, the popping sound from the night before, revealing the sleeping figure.  John hesitated, wondering how he was going to explain to Abigail why he was gone the whole night and how the hell he was going to explain a naked person riding on the back of his horse.  Remembering the offer of clothes from his son Jack, but now that he got a good look at the male, he wasn’t sure if the man would even fit in his clothes.

Fully getting off the bed, stretching away the kinks that had built up in his muscles the night before, John glanced out the window.  The build up of snow from the night before was a tad higher than it normally would be, but nothing that would prove a problem getting out of the cabin and home.  Pulling his shirt back on, glad that there weren’t any tears in the fabric to give any hint to what had happened the night before.  Though if he had a mirror he could probably see the marks and bruises left along his chin and neck.

Pausing for a moment, thinking of those lips that had trailed along his neck and the murmured words about his smell, the heady scent that had filled his senses.  John shook his head, reaching for his hat that had fallen to the floor.

Nonsense, that’s all it was, just the ramblings of a drunk or drugged up man.  But then, if that’s all it was, why was he still seeing those ears and the lazy movement of a tail along a hip?

“You’re staring,” the sleep laden voice teased, “still don’t believe me? About what I said last night?”

“Can’t say that I do,” John said, looking away from the male as the stranger sat up, “Mister… What did you say your name was again?”

“It’s, well if I pronounce it the way you pronounce yours in English, it would be Shirou Fujiwara.”  The forced smile, eyes downcast.  “I- I just want to apologize for doing that to you.  I’m normally not like that, you see.  Its just…”

Though John kept his gaze away, he waited patiently as Shirou tried to explain, glancing over after a few moments of silence.  The wolf ears and tail were gone, pale hair now black.  Proud shoulders were now slumped as the blanket was pulled closer.

“You’re the first person who hasn’t spat on me since coming to your country, the first person who has talked to me like I’m a human.”  A small, trembling smile, John could see the building hope.  He, of course, knew of how cruel and heartless people could be, from neighbor to a complete stranger just trying to start from scratch in a land they don’t know.  “I guess I was just happy that I- that there was someone like me here.  That you could see my soul and I-” a thick swallow and the lick of lips, “I took it too far.”

The small laugh that was muffled as the male buried his head in his arms, trying to hide away from the world.  “I completely understand if you-”

“Giving up won’t get you anywhere in life, neither will pity.  And you’re a fool if you think I’m gonna leave you here.  Out here, you’ll be raped, killed or both by those that have nothing better to do and are too heartless to care if your a man or woman.  Now,” John stared down, waiting for Shirou to look up, “get up.  We need to leave, seeing as its not gonna get any warmer here.  And I’m sure you’re as hungry as I am.”

John didn’t wait for a response from Shirou, understanding the loneliness that can build up and eat someone alive with little trouble, moving towards the one window in the small cabin to see his horse waiting just a few feet from the hitch.  A sigh of relief escaping his lips, he didn’t have to go after looking for his mount in the freezing weather.

The creaking of the old bed and the padding of footsteps behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you ready?” He asked, hand reaching for the door.  Catching the nod as the male moved beside him, the backbone he had seen the night before returning and the look of hope he had caught in the firelight last night.  “Good, c’mon then, let’s get this over with.”

Licking his bottom lip in nervousness that he refused to acknowledge, opening the door to the frigid morning.  The crunch of snow under his boots, motioning the male to follow before easily climbing into the saddle before offering his hand to Shirou.  With a tug, pulling the male up and on the horse’s withers before feeling Shirou press close to his back and wrap his arms around him.

The nervous noises from his horse, the toss of a head and rolling of eyes before spurring the horse into motion before the animal could toss them again.  Ignoring the heat that pooled in his stomach when arms tightened further, feeling not the cold air that rushed around them but the warmth that the body behind him provided.

“So tell me, Mister Fujiwara, what were you doing out here?  You don’t look like someone who would belong out here in the wilderness.”  John asked over his shoulder, feeling a chin rest on his shoulder and lips against his ear.

“I guess your right, me not belonging out here and all.  But I made the mistake of getting on a horse when I don’t even know how to ride.  I made an ass out of myself when I tried to get up on one. But,” the sigh and the heated breath against his skin and in his ear was enough to keep him waiting, “I was upset and hurt.  I guess the people of Blackwater don’t like when someone from a different country tries to correct them, even when they’re wrong.”

“Don’t I know it,” he muttered, having had the experience of being given looks of disgust when he and Abigail started working on their home.  The whispered words behind hands, muttered when he had to go into town for supplies.  He didn’t want to think of the horrible names that they called Abigail.  Clenching his hands tighter on the reigns, he chanced a look to his passenger to see the dejected look on his face.

“Don’t let them get you down, majority of them have done the same to me and Abigail.  Some of them still do, to be honest.  To a few of them, you’re no better than a dog in a street.  If you can’t trace your family history, you don’t belong.”  John explained before muttering under his breath more than a few choice words about those that spat words at him and his family.  There was no response from the one behind him except for the arms around him tightening just enough to let him know that he understood.

“I haven’t been in Blackwater for more than a day or so before the insults started.”  The dry chuckle and the sound of a shiver from his passenger as their pace continued.  The sound of hoof beats pounding against the ground, ignoring the curious looks that they got as the passed through Manzanita Post.  Rumors would be flying through the small settlement, if anyone recognized him, talk would reach Blackwater in record time.

“You know, I’m still confused about what you told me.  With animal souls and looking like one.  I thought I saw it all, but you’ve proven me wrong.” He tried to converse, trying to understand what had happened the night before.  “Is this all real?  Or is it just a screwed up dream?”

“It’s real,” the amusement filled his ears, “it’s been happened for thousands of years.  Though it is hard to fully understand and comprehend, everything that has happened so far is real.  Haven’t you ever felt likes others were drawn to you for reasons you couldn’t understand?  Approaching you and acting strange?  They know there’s something different about you, but they don’t get it.  They don’t realize what you actually are.”  Shirou explained, resting his cheek on John’s shoulder, breathing in the man’s scent.  Sweat, blood and pheromones clouding his senses, forcing him to bite down on his lower lip to muffle a pleasured whine that wanted to escape.  The male’s scent alone wanted him to bare everything, to submit to him.  Something he hasn’t felt in years.  A spark of emotion that he didn’t dare try to think about flared up, taking residence in his heart and mind.

Of all the legends and the rumors that he heard while growing up, Shirou never thought he’d actually have a chance at seeing a returner to ancestry.  If he were back home, a retrograde would have been swept away by the authorities and sent to be inspected by the royal family.  Biting his tongue, Shirou stifled a sound of happiness.  Though in the middle of nowhere, far away from those that controlled everything, a chance at happiness was in front of him, even if the one was already taken.

“That doesn’t explain much, but then, this is the first I’ve heard about,” John mused, more to himself than the one behind him.

“It’s a lot to understand and normally one would think I’m crazy to try to explain such things.  To them, what I say is nothing more than the ramblings of someone who has lost their mind,” Shirou said as his hands slipped down to the tense muscles of John’s legs, “but us- you and me, we’re part of something that has been going on since the dawn of time.  It’s-” Shirou paused for a moment, hoping his ramblings were easy to follow.

“Complicated, I’m sure.  How am I going to explain this to my wife?  To Jack and to uncle?” John questioned himself as his horse crested the sharp hill and to the valley below.  “Do I have ears like yours?” He asked, trying to glance over his shoulder at his passengers.  He felt the shake of a head as his answer and the curl of fingers against his legs.

“No- you do, but for some reason they’re not showing.  But your smell,” the slow intake he heard and the shudder that ran through his companion’s body, “tells me that I’m right.  You may think it’s weird, me sniffing your scent and everything, but it says everything.  Scent is extremely important to madararui.  It’s how we find others, find our mates and partners. Scent tells us a lot-”

“Is that why you’ve been sniffing me again?” John asked, amusement in his voice as he tightened his grip on the reigns, gentle nudging his horse in the direction of Beecher’s Hope.

Shirou licked his dry lips and buried his head against the dusty shoulder and nodded in embarrassment again, muttering against the clothing and hoped that John didn’t hear.  It was one thing to enjoy the scent of a lover, it was something entirely different to do that to a complete stranger.  Especially one he had assaulted the night before.  Hoping that his cheeks would cool down from the heated flush, it wouldn’t due him any good to give a bad impression to John’s family.

Pressing his palms against John’s thighs for a moment, wanting nothing more than to leave them there, Shirou reluctantly pulled away as the sight of a house came into view.  Smoke rising and curling from stone chimney with the promise of a heated fire.  It was the shout and the slamming of a door that followed that had him pulling his hands quickly away, sitting up straighter to pull the rough blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“John!  Where the hell have you been, you crazy man?!”  The female voice called out as the figure approached them, “One minute we’re having a discussion and the next you’re storming out to stay out at all night.  And who is this?  Did you go into town and pick yourself up a-” the downturn of lips, it was easy for Shirou to see the disappointment on the woman’s face.

“Now, Abigail, what kind of man do you take me for?”  John asked as he swung down from the saddle and walked around towards his wife, giving her a small hug.  “This man here, Mister F-” John paused for a moment before turning to the male as lifted his head and looked down at them with a cautious look.

“Fujiwara, err- I know it may be hard to remember but you can call me Shirou if you like.”  A hesitant look, the blanket clutched tightly around him as he gave them his first name, wondering if they would call him by his name.

“Well, I nearly ran him over in Tall Trees.  Guess he was robbed of his clothes and horse and left to freeze out there,” John explained, glancing from Shirou to his wife and caught curious look Abigail wore as the eyed the stranger.

“Is this, he the reason you were gone all night?”  She asked, turning her gaze from Shirou to him.  A pointed look that Abigail had a habit of wearing when she suspected he wasn’t telling her the full truth before his wife shook her head when he continued.

“The horse threw the both of us off and bolted when wolves started to show, so we took shelter at that cabin in Tanner’s Reach.”  It wasn’t exactly a lie when majority of it was the truth, though he left out the parts that had happened in cabin.

“Well, you might as well being him in.  I should have known, strange things tend to happen to you, John.  Show him in and I’ll fix you both up something to eat.  Maybe some of your clothes could fit him until he can get back into town.  Still,” dark eyes returned to the naked figure that swung his leg and slid off the horse, “he doesn’t look like someone from Blackwater.  Or anyone from New Austin…” Abigail’s words trailed off, the dusting of color to her cheeks before she turned on her heel, motioning with her hand for him to bring Shirou inside.

“I don’t think I’ve ever Abigail take to a stranger so quickly,” John commented as he hitched his horse to keep the animal from wandering, “though she was friendly with Bonnie when she met her.”  He didn’t bother to mention the one sided feelings that the blond woman harbored for him, not that Abigail really picked up on those feelings.

Taking the steps with ease, feeling rather than seeing Shirou following him, glancing around the small farm before stepping into the house.  Hearing the deep intake of breath from the male, turning to see a small smile cross Shirou’s face as he glanced around the open sitting room before staring at the fire.  The question didn’t have to be voiced as he nodded, motioning the male get closer.  Watching for a moment as Shirou dropped to his knees with a low thud, scooting as close as he could to the blazing fire.

“Get warm, I’ll see if I have some clothes that will fit you.”  John turned away, ignoring the flutter of something inside him at the look that crossed the male’s face.  Pausing at the hallway entrance, he caught the curious look from his son as he came in from the kitchen, the door closing behind him.

“Where you been, pa? ” Jack asked, the curious look quickly fading to that of distrust that still lingered. Brown eyes darting from him to the figure that knelt in front of the stone fireplace. “And who is that?”  A slight jerk of a head, eyes narrowing as he stared at the stranger.

“Your mother and I just had a little argument last night, nothing you should be worried about.”  John explained, not wanting to go into detail about the lack of funds, avoiding Jack’s second question.  Pushing past his teenaged son, slipping into the bedroom he shared with Abigail, he opened the few drawers of the old dresser in the hopes of find some clothes that would cover the male’s nakedness.

The floating of voices, almost hushed in a way, were hard to pick up as he selected a pair of pants and a shirt, eyeing them before leaving the room.  The smell of Abigail’s cooking filled the air, his stomach twinging with hunger. Rounding the corner, stopping behind Jack and listened to the questions that his son asked, the curiosity back in his voice.  He tried not to listen, his son seemed more open with this stranger than him.  Jealousy wasn’t something he was used to, feeling it grow in the pit of his stomach.  Clearing his throat and halting the questions Jack had been asking. Ignoring the look his son threw him and the look of relief Shirou sent him, he held out the clothes.

“Here, they should fit.  You can get changed in the room across from Jack’s.”

“Thank you,” the small smile that was given to him, looking away when Shirou pushed himself up and pulled the blanket closer, though unable to completely cover his body.  Glancing down, John caught Jack staring at the male’s body and pressed his lips together in displeasure before taking a seat at the table a few feet away.  It wasn’t that he was jealous.  He couldn’t be!  After being away from home for so long, it was only natural that his son would have trouble bridging the distance between them.  And even if he were jealous, it would only be because Jack was giving a complete stranger attention.

Of course, the fact that his son had asked him questions that he had dodged in answering, went forgotten.  Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Jack pushed himself up to his feet, taking a step towards his room and most likely the room across from his before shaking his head and taking a seat across from him.

“Were did you find Mr Fujiwara?”  Jack asked, glancing to where they had been sitting before looking at looking at him and the expression he wore.  “What?  Just because you can’t pronounce his name doesn’t mean I can’t.  He was explaining how to pronounce it.”

For a moment John thought he caught coloring to his son’s cheeks, but dismissed the thought.  The boy was curious after all, nothing more than that.  John shook his head.

“Well, I nearly ran him over on the horse.  Someone robbed him and left him for dead in Tall Trees.”  He answered hoping that would be enough to satisfy his son’s curiosity.  The silence that grew before Jack nodded, taking his words as the truth.  Refraining from shaking his head in disbelief, sometimes Jack was a little to trusting.  But it wasn’t like he could the boy that Shirou had sucked him off the night before.

“Is he going to be staying?  I mean, it would be pretty neat to talk to someone who isn’t from here.  He could tell me things about his country.”  The near excitement that filled Jack’s voice, opening his mouth before the footsteps and the prickling along the back of his neck.  Mouth suddenly going dry, clenching his hands along the table as the figure approached from behind him.

“Actually, I was wondering something,” the hesitant voice that belied what he felt coming from the one behind him. “You saved me and showed me kindness that no one has.  So, would it be possible for me to repay you?  I mean, I can help out around here.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to refuse the stranger.  He could only imagine the trouble he would get into by having the male around.  Opening his mouth to refuse, it was Abigail’s voice that had him snapping his mouth shut, shooting her a look that she promptly ignored.

“Well, I’m not sure.  Hasn’t uncle been talking about slowing down?”  Abigail asked,leaning in to set several plates on the table.  “Last week he mentioned a cabin that was up for sale, the old Bacchus place I think it’s called.  I believe he just wants to get away from all the work.”  A little laugh and a nudge of her hip.  “If he does leave, that’ll just leave you and Jack.  And I want Jack to concentrate on studying and getting into school.  So it may be a good idea to take him up on his offer.”

Narrowing his eyes at his talk, watching her smirk at him and deep down he knew Abigail was-is right.  How long has uncle been talking about retiring?  All the talk about being old was the truth and as much as he ragged on the old man, he could see where uncle was coming from.  Sighing, John found himself nodding in agreement.  There was only so much that his son could do.

“You’re right, Abigail,” John rubbed at his eyes.  He wasn’t going to argue, he knew he wouldn’t win.  “I guess if you’re insistent on helping, then yeah.  I can’t pay you, though.”  John looked up as he spoken, eyes trailing and taking in the way his clothes looked on the dark haired male before standing.

“T-thank you, you-”

“Let me say this though, don’t expect it to be easy.  It’s hard labor and dirty and until uncle leaves, you’ll be staying in the barn.  There’s a make shift bed, should be pretty warm for a while.  And-” a thick swallow as he caught the thick scent that filled the air.  A glance around, neither Abigail nor Jack seemed to be affected by the smell, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.  Why did these things happen to him?  The universe seeing fit that he should still pay for the sins of his past.

“Don’t expect to slack off either.  I’ve had enough of that with uncle.  If you can’t handle the work, I guess your free to leave.”

He wasn’t expecting the set determination on the man’s face and the short nod of a head.  “I’m not afraid of the hard work and I don’t expect any money.”  Catching the hope in the man’s voice and the relief in his eyes spoke more than words could convey.

“Maybe now uncle can lay off wanting some recognition.  And more work can get done now.”

_______

Stomach now full and fully warm, Shirou followed John out of the house.  Leaving behind the warmth and comfort of the fireplace, heading towards the barn.  Wrapping his arms around his body, ducking his head to breath in the scent that lingered on the borrowed clothes he wore.  Fighting the smile that wanted to cross, Shirou couldn’t believe how his luck had turned.  From being robbed to be being saved and swept off his feet.

Well, not really, he told himself.  But the feeling was similar.  Lifting his head at the sound of a throat clearing, catching a look the was both uncertain and embarrassed at the sight of him sniffing the clothes he wore.

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Shirou dropped his hands and looked away with a murmured apology.  He couldn’t screw this up, not with the one person, family, that showed him kindness.

“Look, I still don’t get this whole scent thing, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t go around sniffing my clothes.  It just sends the wrong message.” John sighed, looking away with a mutter that Shirou didn’t catch.

Licking his dry lips, Shirou nodded in embarrassment, looking away from John to the barn.  Stepping away from the older male to look where he would be sleep.  A small bed and a few lanterns that hung from the rafters, biting his bottom lip.  He wasn’t expecting much, but it seemed more welcoming than the plush hotel room and the comments from the passing patrons made his skim crawl.

“For now, I guess I’ll take you into town to get your things.  But as soon as we get back we’ll need to start working on the fences.  Some of the cows keep on getting out and I’m guessing storm isn’t out of the question, we’d lose the whole herd.”  A glance out towards the western horizon and the few clouds that started to build.  No scent of rain in the air, but that didn’t mean the weather couldn’t change.

Following John away from the barn and to where two horses were hitched and saddled, Shirou hesitated.  Watching John easily pull himself into the saddle of the black horse while the blue roan tossed his head and moved uneasily on the short tether.

“All you need to do is grab the reins with your left hand, put your left foot in the stirrup and place your left hand along the horse’s neck.  Then just pull yourself up.”  The older man explained, nudging his horse away from the hitching post, watching him with some impatience.

Repeating the instructions in his head, Shirou untied the reins and held them like John had instructed him to. Slipping his foot into the stirrup was more challenging without boots, managing to get himself onto the saddle on the third try, settling down on the hard leather.

“Now that you got yourself up on the saddle, it won’t be difficult to learn how to ride.” A knowing look sent his way, Shirou could only nod again as he copied John’s movements with his horse. “Just keep up and don’t over work the horse.”

With a click of his tongue and a kick of his heels, John spurred the horse into a trot, giving him a glance over his shoulder to see if he was following. Heart pounding, nervousness wanting to show, Shirou urged the blue roan with his bare heels as his face went from the horse to John, catching the twitching of lips.

It didn’t take him long get the bare basics down, urging the horse into a fast trot to keep up with John. It didn’t take them long to see the outskirts of Blackwater and the rising smoke from the steam engine that had started up. Pulling back gently on the reins to slow the horse, coming to a stop along side John.

“So where are you staying? The hotel?”

Holding back a snort of laughter that was more sad than he wanted, Shirou shook his head. “No, they wouldn’t even talk about letting me get a room there, telling me that I couldn’t afford it. I had to take a room above the saloon.”

A look of understanding from the older male, catching the slight incline of a head. Nothing more was said as they led their horses down the cobbled street, hitching the animals to the posts across the street.

Ducking his head to hide away from the stares of passing people, murmured words behind hands and the few that were drunk already pointing out his lack of shoes. Ignoring the laughter, Shirou gave John a forced smile before quickly excusing himself to hurry up the stairs. He didn’t catch the look the older man gave him nor did he see John follow him up the stairs and to his room.

Stepping inside the room, John opened his mouth to say something at the look of defeat on Shirou’s face before closing it.  What could he say to comfort someone who was experiencing the same thing he had when he was younger.  Leaning against the door frame, John glanced around the small room and the one bag that Shirou packed what few belongings that were laid out.

“This all you have?”  A nod to the bag that sat open, hiding his surprise when the male slipped glasses on before pulling off the clothing he wore.  Turning his attention away to give the male some sort of privacy.

“Yeah, I didn’t have much to bring with me when I left.  And it’s just easier to have little with me, it keeps others from trying to rob me.  Though I guess now it doesn’t work now.”  The words muffled as Shirou pulled his own shirt on. John caught a glance of pale skin, flawless and nearly perfect before undergarments and pants pulled up and fastened.  “I only brought a few things that are close to my heart that I couldn’t leave behind-”

John caught the loud swallow and the silent sigh, looking at Shirou as eyes hardened.  A shake of a head.  “I’m sure you don’t want to hear me whine about things that are too late to change things I never had control of.”  Glancing around the room before giving him a nod and grabbed the bag, slinging it over his shoulder before stepping into the hallway, brushing against him with a murmured apology.

John would never admit to a living soul that the smell he caught had his blood racing.

_____

It would be a few days later that the lingering clouds broke, unleashing a fury of rain and lighting, that forced their work to a halt.  The cool air chilled further by the moister, it took everything John had to keep from shivering as his clothes soaked up the rain that fell on him.  A glance at the soaked figure beside him, glasses fogged, gave no sign that the cold gave him any problems.

Chewing on his bottom lip, eying their unfinished work with displeasure before standing up.

“We’re done here for the day,” John sighed, holding out his hand to help Shirou to his feet.  A sound of agreement as the younger male got his balance and pushed back his bangs, glancing at him before looking away.  Patches of color that started to cover Shirou’s cheeks before the grip on his hand was dropped.  Bending down to pick up the tools he dropped, motioning for Shirou to follow.

As they approached the house, a promise of warmth waiting, John set the tools on the porch before catching sight of Abigail in the kitchen.  The smell of coffee welcomed him, climbing the steps and turned to invite the younger male inside to warm up at the fireside.  He wasn’t expecting Shirou to be walking towards the barn, shoulders hunched against the barrage of rain.  John thought about calling after him before stopping himself.

Of course Shirou would give him the privacy he wanted, even if it meant not getting warm by the roaring fire.  Opening the door, pausing to take off his heat to shake off the water that lingered on the brim before stepping inside the dry house.

“How much have you gotten done?”  The rough sound of Uncle’s voice at the sudden question, the door opening to his left as the older man squinted at him.

“More than you would have gotten done, old man,” a retort as John stepped away from the make shift room that Uncle had claimed.  John didn’t have to look behind him to see the dirty look that Uncle sent him.  “Don’t complain about you being replaced.  You’ve been running your mouth about wanting to slow down and retire, was that nothing but lies?”

“I bet ya he doesn’t even know how to use those tools of yours,” Uncle grumbled as he moved towards the fireplace, ignoring his question.

“You’re right, he doesn’t.  But I noticed that he’s quick on picking things up.”  John defended, leaning close to the fire, hoping that the heat would dry his clothes faster.  “I haven’t heard a complaint from him.  Not like you,” he added, hiding a knowing smirk.  The old man was sensitive and of course he just wanted to lay back and enjoy relaxing, to let him do all the work.

The old man puffed out his cheeks in anger, ready to retort before grumbling.  “Well, seeing how you don’t need me, I’m heading to Blackwater.  And hopefully I’ll get that deed that I was promised.”

Uncle paused, waiting a moment for some kind of protest.  To ask him to stay and give up the foolish notion of leaving the farm behind.  When none came, he cursed and left, closing the door with a slam.

All John could do was just shake his head at Uncle’s little tantrum, kneeling down to get more of the warmth that the fire provided.  The old man hadn’t taken to the idea of being replaced, despite complaining about the treatment he received.  All the talk about wanting to relax and take it slow was just that, talk.  But since having Shirou around, the work had started to get a little easier to finish.  The lack of complaints and what chatter that did go on between them helped take his mind off the financial problems that were still plaguing them.

The sound of pots being pulled out and the wafting smell of food being prepared, the cursing from the kitchen and the sound of Abigail calling his name pulled him from his thoughts.  Sighing in regret as he left the warmth of the fireplace behind and stepped into the kitchen, stopping just short of a knife blade pointed straight at him.

“Does this look sharp, John?”  Abigail asked, looking from the chunk of meat on the wooden cutting board to him, a smile on her lips as he eyed the knife.

Refraining from cursing in shock, stepping away from his wife before giving her a look.  “Are you crazy?  It looks sharp, Abigail.  And I’m not going to try to check that it is.”

“It looks sharp, but it’s too dull to even work with.  You need to go out to the barn and sharpen it for me.”  Opening his mouth to protest, his wife silenced the words before they could escape.  “If you want to eat tonight, you’ll sharpen that knife for me.  By the way,” Abigail glanced behind him, giving him a look when she didn’t see who she was looking for, catching the tiniest slump of her shoulders.  “Where’s Shirou?”

After a day of speaking with the younger male, it seemed Abigail had an easier time pronouncing the man’s given name.  Tripping over Shirou’s last name left her pressing her lips before asking if it was alright to call him by his given name.  Now, though, Abigail sounded comfortable using the male’s name.

Giving a little shrug, answering when Abigail leveled a look at him.  “He was behind me when we got to the house, but I guess he wanted some privacy.”

“Well then, while you’re sharpening that knife your holding, invite him to the house.  That barn has got to be cold and drafty, he could at least come inside and warm up before supper.”  Abigail shook her head, moving into pantry to try to come up with a meal with what they had..  “Well, go on.  Supper will take longer if you keep standing there, holding that dull knife.”

Holding back a sigh, eyeing the rain that continued to fall before grabbing his hat again.  Bracing himself against the cold wind and splashing of water against the cuffs of his pants, John hurried across the muddy yard to the side of the barn, ignoring the flickering of lightening that danced across the sky.  Searching for the grinding stones he kept stored there for such occasions, warmth from the hearth that Shirou had started before spotting and grabbing two grinding stones, shoving them into his pocket.  He wasn’t stupid enough to stay out in the cold and sharpen the knife, not when he could be doing it by the fireside.  About to turn, John remembered the second request that Abigail asked, turning and looked through the small window.  Just across from the window was the small bed and makeshift table, nothing out of the ordinary.

But that wasn’t what caught his attention, it was the figure that rested on the bed, splayed out for the world to see.  Shoulders resting against the wall, with lips that looked swollen, parting with a whimper as fingertips trailed down to his stomach and beyond.

John looked away, he didn’t have to guess what Shirou was doing.  Getting ready to turn away, a muffled whimper that became a drawn out whine, quietly begging for something.  Biting down on the inside of his cheek, the sounds coming from the barn reminding him of the cabin.  Being pinned and sucked off  the thick and heady scent that had clouded his mind.  Forcing the curiosity away, intent on giving the younger man privacy, John turned away.  Ready to step under the down pour of rain and get back to the warmth of the house, it was a single word that had him turning back, giving up the idea of watching the private show that was meant for no one to watch.  His name filling the air that joined the sounds of pleasure.

Swallowing thickly at the sight of legs spreading, hips trembling as fingers dipped and pushed inside.  Disappearing and searching, his name leaving Shirou’s lips as begged for more.  His stomach dropped as heat filled him.  Unable to turn his eyes away as the male came, John couldn’t help the shame that came over him for watching such a private moment that wasn’t meant for him, despite what the one on the bed had uttered.

Ignoring the heavy beating of his heart and the stirring of want that he denied, John turned away.  Walking slowly, hoping the sound of the rain that soaked him would drown out the voice that echoed in his ears.

Everything starts here but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t tear me apart

Title: Everything starts here but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t tear me apart
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Fujiwara Shirou, John Marston, Madarame Yonekuni, John Marston/Fujiwara Shirou
Series: Sex Pistols, Red Dead Redemption
Part of: Trying something new won’t kill you, until your imagination runs wild
Beta: None
Warnings: This series completely ignores the ending of Red Dead Redemption, I just want some John and Shirou smut with some sort of plot mixed in.
Notes: Yonekuni always thought everything in his relationship with Shirou was perfect.  No bumps in the road, nothing.  But when they get a gaming system, Yonekuni finds that his imagination is running away from him, leaving him helpless to what his mind provides when Shirou gets addicted and starts adoring just one character in the game.

When he first bought the gaming system, Yonekuni didn’t give it much thought of game addictions.  It was nothing more than an impulse buy that he- they could use as a dvd player.  The hints that Shirou had been dropping was enough to tell him that the male wanted to play.  And while he didn’t play very often, Shirou used it as a way to escape the building pressure of college courses.  Just an escape that helped relieve the stress that the heavyweight was experiencing.

That was all it was supposed to be after all.  They could have used the gaming system that Karen kept at home when the restaurant wasn’t busy, but for some reason Shirou seemed more keep on the newest gaming system.  He would have never pegged Shirou as one to be easily addicted to just one game, but ever since they brought that damn gaming system home, he would mostly find Shirou playing on it when he wasn’t busy with course work or him.  Playing that one game.

At first, he thought that it was just the fact that the game was set on a time period that had past in a country overseas.  Horses and cowboys, saving the old dying west and everything in between.  That’s all he thought it was.  After all, it wasn’t like they could actually find horses and ride like you could in the game, which is what he told himself.  And it seemed that it started that way as well.  But it wasn’t long before he started to notice that Shirou would stare intently at the screen, focusing on the dark and somewhat brooding character that one was to play.  It never occurred to him that Shirou was more interested in the story line, interested in the atmosphere and the history of everything the game was about.  If anything, it was his imagination that took over, insecurities that he refused to acknowledge that always seemed to linger in the back of his mine.  If he knew what was going on in Shirou’s, he wouldn’t have worried so much about a fictional relationship between a game character and his lover.  Deep down he should have just voiced his worries to the canine but his pride wouldn’t allow him such a thing.

And that’s when everything snowballed out of control.

________________

Shirou tried to muffle the sound that rose quickly in his throat, mangling the male’s name as leather covered fingers trailed along his stomach while John’s other hand forced him over the smooth wooden fence.  The thick chuckle in his ears as the outlaw bent over him.

“I never thought I would see such a creature as yourself,” the rumble of John’s voice and the scarred lips against the sensitive fur of his ears.  The hand on his back moved down towards his tail, rubbing the base with fingertips before dipping towards his cheeks.  “Here you are, opening a path in me that would have been better off staying closed, for the both of us.”

The dark chuckle should have warned him, should have scared him away from such a dangerous man.  Should have warned him about the trouble that he could get into by getting involved with the married man.  But the thrill of John’s touch against his skin and mounting pleasure as fingers curled around his cock kept him in place, kept him coming back for more.  This was something he wanted, desired with everything he had, feeling the hardness against his hip, pushing back to rub against the man’s growing bulge.

A string of curses and a push of a glove covered finger against his hole was his reward for trying to tempt him.

“P-please,” Shirou panted and begged, licking his dry lips, “g-give me-”

“What? Give you what?” John bantered, looking down at the naked creature before him.  Skin pale in the moonlight, silver ears twitching, straining to hear more while the perk ass pushed back against him.

He hadn’t thought he would come across anything but wild animals as he traveled past Manzanita Post and deep into Tall Trees on horseback in the middle of the night, the heated argument he had with Abigail still on his mind.  It wasn’t his fault that he was trying his hardest to keep the farm and the land they owned above water, no matter how much Abigail argued that money was extremely tight.  Deep in to the woods where the bears were known to take down a horse with just a swipe of their paw, in a clearing, under the rolling storm clouds and falling snow did he find this creature naked as the day he was born.  Long limbs shifted, the slow shaking of a head before eyes narrowed to focus on him.

A voice, thick with a langue he didn’t know and never heard of before, the creature tried again, this time in English as he approached him and his horse as they backed away nervously.

“W-w-where am I?”

The thick swallow from the silver haired creature, eyes wide and pale behind crooked glasses while the male’s body shivered.  At the time, john had to drag his eyes away from the abnormal ears.  He shook his head, wondering if all those blow to the back of his head caused him to start hallucinating.

“I’ve got to stop drinking,” a mutter to himself, which he knew was pointless since he hasn’t had a drink in weeks.

“P-please,” the near beg as the creature stepped closer, reaching out to grasp his arm, covering skin that his shirt didn’t. In the cold mountain air, chilled to the bone, he could feel the blooming warmth from the touch.  “I don’t know how I got here a-and-“, the rush of color to pale cheeks, “I don’t know where my clothes are.”

A retort and refuse on the tip of his tongue, he wasn’t as soft hearted as others made him out to believe.  Nor was he a cruel enough man to leave a confused and very naked stranger lost out in the woods.  His eyes trailed down from the large, silver ears and down, unable to stop the sound of wonder.  Any thoughts of the male’s white hair being dyed went out the window at the pale and stiff curls that nestled the man’s flaccid flesh.

“Well, I guess I can give you a ride into town, though I don’t know how far you’ll get being naked.  Maybe Abigail has some extra clothing of Jack’s that you can borrow until you get a set of your own.”

The sound of a relieved sigh and the smile that the stranger sent him left him wondering if he wasn’t making a huge mistake.  Sighing under his breath before reaching behind him to uncurl the small blanket strapped behind his saddle, John Marston tossed the naked stranger the old and worn blanket and watched the dog eared person pull it over his shoulders, catching the slow movement behind the stranger.

Climbing back into the saddle, John turned to the pale stranger.

“I take it you’ve never ridden a horse, right stranger?”

“You’re right on that part,” a soft chuckle, “I don’t have much of a clue to climb on without screwing up.”

The nervous look that crossed the soft features, having to fight back back the twitched of his lips before leaning down to offer his hand.  Grasping and pulling the stranger up, feeling the press of a body behind him and the arms that wrapped around him.  Turning his horse and urging the animal into a gentle trot back to Beecher’s hope.

“So what’s your name, stranger?”  John tossed over his shoulder, feeling the shifting movement.  Silence was his only answer before he tried again.  “I need a name friend, anything, so I can tell my wife why a naked stranger is riding with me.”

“Fujiwara- I mean, my name is Shirou. Shirou Fujiwara,” The stranger, Shirou, offered with his voice catching on the order of his name and rested his head against his back.  John fought to ignore the rubbing of a nose against his clothes.  He didn’t smell, did he?

” Well then, Mr Fujiwara, can you tell me why you have ears where normal people don’t have them? In fact, they look like dog ears or even wolf-” John began, not expecting him to be interrupted.

“Y-you can see them? You can actually see them?  Really?”

Chancing a look over his shoulder, John was surprised to see a look of happiness on the man’s face and the sudden perfuming scent that became stronger and thicker before a loud popping sound that had his horse rearing high enough to throw them both off to the cold and snow ridden ground.  With a loud whinny, the horse took off into the night and left them sitting in the middle of the small trail.

Scrambling to his feet, turning and ready to snap and question what the hell was his problem, he caught sight of a large white wolf.  Wrapped in the blanket he gave the stranger. Smiling eyes staring at him before the large wolf stood up, head tilted just enough in a way that stood out from normal wolves.

“What the hell is going on!?  What the hell are you!?”  A shout, stepping away from where he had landed and reached for the gun holstered on his hip.  Years of ambushes, betrayals and everything in between had him always carrying his gun on him.  With a steady hand, he lifted and aimed the pistol at the still animal.  Seconds ticked by and then minutes before another pop and the stranger that he rescued sat where the wolf once was.

“I-I was sure you’re the same as- I mean, y-you can see my ears and tail, right?  You saw my form?”

John hesitated for a moment, absolutely nothing was making any sense, a naked person in the middle of the grizzly filled woods-

The loud and rumbling roar in the distance, followed by the high pitch howling of wolves had him holstering his gun, trying to pin point which direction the sounds came from. Soft footsteps as the mysterious man stood close to him, breathing deeply while the ears perched on his head twitched before laying back against his skull, lips curled back to reveal teeth that glinted in the moonlight.

“They’re coming-”

“Shit!” Quickly John looked around, knowing that they weren’t any closer to Manzanita Post let alone Beecher’s hope. The closest place for shelter was the small cabin that was normally left abandoned by hunters for others to use at Tanner’s Reach. Without thinking, he grasped the stranger by his wrist and started running in the direction of the hunting cabin. He just hoped that it was empty at the moment, knowing it would be no use trying to explain to the ignorant and often stupid hunters as to why he had a naked stranger following him.

It was his luck and the slight silver lining that the cabin was indeed empty and as he reached the door, opening it quietly, had been empty for a long time.

“C’mon, get inside before you attract anymore wild beasts that want to kill is.”  John called put, looking and finding the small pile of kindling and fire wood piled next to the small stove before moving to stock the stove with the wood.  He didn’t look up when the door closed behind the stranger- Shirou.  Nor did he look up when the male knelt down beside him as he pulled out the small box of matches he carried for such occasions, striking a match and lighting up the kindling that would soon and hopefully, warm the small cabin.

“Is-is there something I can do to help?”  An offer, finally looking away from the slowly building flames to see pale eyes staring at him.

“What you can help me with,” he drawled, giving the pale haired male a look, “is telling me what the hell is going on and why you like an animal.  Are you one of those were-creatures. I forgot what they’re called, my son would know, reading all those books.”  His words trailed off into a mutter, looking away from the slight hurt that Shirou wore.

“I-I’m the same as you-”

“You don’t see me with ears on top of my head and a tail, so no, you are not the same as me.  Not human.”

John wasn’t expecting the pointed look the man gave him before closing his eyes and concentrated. The ears and white hair quickly disappeared, replaced by soft, black hair. The tail that had been slowly moving back and forth was gone. Before him now looked like a regular human.

“See? I-I am the same as you. The fact that you could see my true form, my soul, says it all.”. The deep breath and the hold that the male had was gone as the ears and tail, along with the hair color returned.

“Okay, then.  If your the same as me, just a normal everyday person trying to make a living, then-”

“You don’t realize what you are, do you?”  Shirou asked, moving closer and ducking his head, leaving John to swallow and hold still as the scent returned while Shirou moved towards his neck, breathing deeply, the blanket that had been around the male’s shoulders started to slip and fall, pooling on the ground.

“There’s just something about you. The smell you’re giving off-” a deep breath and the low sound that resembled a whine caught in the male’s throat, “I can see it better, in the light and the heat.  The wildness that you give off, tainted with the blood on your hands, it’s intoxicating.”

John fought against the color that wanted to rise up on his cheeks, confused to the strange behavior that was happening in front of him.  “Of course you don’t know,” the one before him murmured softly to himself, pushing John off his heels and down on the floor, sitting across his hips as though the stranger belonged there, “it’s not common at all for madararui to be walking around this country so open, let alone a retrograde like yourself.”

His mind scrambled and tried to wrap around such words Shirou was saying. “What’re spittin’ on about? Mada- retrograde? What the-”

John’s words were quickly stopped by the lips covering his, the warmth of a hand on his chest as it splayed before moving.  A lick at his bottom lip and the dip of a tongue into his mouth.  He reached up and grasped at the bare shoulder, taking notice of the difference between his skin and Shirou’s.  Sun tanned and scarred akin against skin that looked like it had never seen the light of day, let alone any hard work.

Tearing his mouth free, trying to push the male away from him, only to have lips trail to the left, tracing the edges of old scars and down.  Swallowing thickly, he couldn’t deny the thrill of pleasure to be kissed in such a fashion.  The rubbing of a cheek against his growing stubble as though the male enjoyed the scratching feeling, breathing in a scent that he wasn’t complaining about.  Hands that started tugged his shirt, pulling it from the waist band of his pants just to slip inside.  He shouldn’t even be here, talking like this to some he had just met, barely even knowing his name.  Shouldn’t allow another’s hands slip and cup him in the way he hadn’t been touched in so long.  Touch him and curl around his flesh in a way that his wife no longer wanted to.  Abigail wouldn’t-

Abigail.  His wife.

Shit.

“I- we can’t-”  He tried to protest, tongue tripping over what he wanted to say.  He couldn’t betray the woman who helped through out their time in Dutch’s gang and the years afterwards.  The love Abigail showed him and gave him helped him through the lonely weeks and months that it took to hunt down his former gang members.  But he couldn’t deny the way his heart raced as the soft hand moved along his cock.  Couldn’t deny the thrust his hips gave when lips found purchase along the crook of his neck.  Mind clouding with slowly mounting pleasure, fighting with the wanting to be loyal and faithful his wife to giving into pleasure he hasn’t felt in what felt like forever.  Running his fingers through pale hair with the intent of pushing the male’s head away, if only to give him a moment of clarity.

“Just let me,” words spoken just for him against skin, the sting of teeth nipping against his collarbone, “give you this and everything will be okay. Okay?”

Licking his bottom lip, John stared down at the pale eyes that seemed to look through him straight to his soul, almost begging for something, anything from him.  Find himself nodding silently, the smile of happiness that was sent to him before his lips were taken once more.  A gentler kiss, slow and almost loving if this was a different situation, while hands slowly worked the fastenings of his pants.  Lifting his hips, the chill in the air lingering despite the fire going strong in the stove just a few feet from them, as his clothing was either tugged off or tugged down.

Under the flickering firelight, John felt the trailing fingertips and the lips that followed.  The gentle suck and flicks of a tongue against his nipples, nuzzling against the hair that dusted his chest.  Puffs of hot air and the inhale that was accompanied by the low moan and the shudder of the body above him.

“I don’t get it,” John muttered as Shirou continued to breath in his smell, “why are you sniffing me?”

“You- your scent is-“. Shirou tried to explain against his skin, moving further down his body and pausing at John’s hips.

“Are you trying to tell me that I smell?”  John tried to joke, reach down to push away the pale bangs from Shirou’s forehead and was answered by the shaking of a head and the lick of an upper lip while the male breathed in.

“Intoxicating,” Shirou finally answered, “its intoxicating, thick and musky.  Calling out and yet, hiding away. It’s like I can taste it, taste you on my tongue already.  Wrapping around in my head, telling me to give in.  To bare everything just for you to view.”

Riddles and circles, still not an answer but he had forgotten what he wanted to say when he felt that first touch of lips against the crown of his flesh.  A ghostly breath of warm air as a nose nuzzled against his straining cock, a sound escaping him when he felt the first gentle suck.  Almost in a teasing way when Shirou pulled back to mouth down the side while a hand crept up to cup his sack, not even Abigail touched him there.

John bit down on his bottom lip, watching the scene.  It was rare to receive pleasure like this, only being able to count on one hand of how many times he was able to get something like this.  But now, watching as his flesh was taken in, sucked on and worshiped with pleasure racing through him at the heat and touch, John struggled with himself.  Wanting nothing more than to hold Shirou’s head and fuck his mouth, of pushing the man away and onto his back, to take him like animal he claimed to be.

All thoughts were pushed from his mind as the pleasure mounted more, shivering and scrambling to find purchase as he came.  He couldn’t stop the low groan that was torn from his that, bucking harder and forcing his cock deeper, not hearing the coughing before cool air hit his heated skin.

Cracking an eye open, cum covered lips parted and panted while a hand quickly worked underneath.  With pale eyes that were closed, John took in the sight of the slightly slumped figure.  Cheeks that were flushed with pleasure, the soft whining that resembled an animal submitting to one that was stronger. He tried not to look at Shirou’s face as the male came and though he tried not to look and not to watch, he found himself watching.  Taking in the look of pleasure that crossed the male’s features, the scent that had started to thicken once more when pale eyes stared at him, silently communicating.

After everything that happened, the meeting and lack of explanation, he wasn’t prepared for the nuzzling the naked male gave him.  A sigh of content, a rub to the underside of his chin and the lick against the stubble.

In the warmth of the glowing embers, John laid for a moment, silently enjoying the rubbing against his skin while trying to pull his mind from the realms of sleep to get up off the hard and dirty floor. When he finally managed to gather his wits long enough, pushing away the drowsy man, did he get up long enough to stumble to the small and dingy bed.  Barely remembering to pull his pants up, giving up on his shirt that had been pushed off for now.

“You got that out of your system, tell me,” John began once his head hit the small pillow, watching Shirou pull up the blanket around his shoulders, “what the hell is going on?  I’ve seem some weird shit in my life, things no man or woman should see.  But you, I’ve never seen something like this before. You told me that everything would be okay, but I still know nothing?”

From where he lay, watching the shadows play across the male’s face before quiet footsteps and the dipping of the bed. Fingers on the center of his forehead that pushed away his bangs.

“Where do you think we came from?”  Shirou began, knowing he had to explain things simply without sounding like he lost his mind.  “Our souls, where did they originate from? Are we humans?  Some believe that god created man and others believe that humans evolved from apes.  And there are others that evolved from other animals.  Their souls being their link to their past.  You, you’re scent and your body tell me that you are like me.”

Swallowing past his suddenly dry throat at the feeling of fingers on his tail, gently exploring what he had shown. He was exhausted, the thick taste still on his tongue and still craved more.

“Somewhere, some time ago, one of your ancestors was of madararui descent . And a blow to your head or a near death experience must have awoken what lay dormant for so many years.  But out here, in a country where madararui are rare enough, there’s you . The rarest of the rare, someone like me can would never have a chance at seeing in a lifetime.”

The rough chuck and the hand that batted his away.  “Rare? Me? I haven’t been special in my life, just trying to keep my family safe and redeem myself for the past I can’t change.  My wife, Abigail, she’s the special one,” the drowsy voice said between a yawn, “putting up with me taking off, doing everything I can for her and Jack.”

Shirou ignored the sharp pang in his chest at that mention, feeling like a fool for taking advantage of someone who had stopped to help him.  Of course the man was married and has a family.  Hell, he didn’t even know the man’s name, jumping and assaulting him.  This wasn’t like him, not at all.  But the weeks that it took to arrive in this country, running away from everyone that just wanted to use him. The feeling of having his heart broken was the tipping point.  Now, it was just the loneliness that was eating at him.  Those in the small cities and towns snubbed him when they heard him speak, his accent making things worse when he wanted, needed any type of human contact.

He hasn’t thought that stopping to help the man that waved at him from the side of the trail would cause him to be stripped and left for dead in the middle of the woods.  Shirou gave a soft chuckle, at least he was smart to not have his things with him.  They didn’t get everything.

“You’re lucky, Mr-”

“Marston,” came the sleepy voice, “but friends just call me John.”

“Can I call you that?” Shirou asked quietly, looking down at the rugged man.  When no answer came, Shirou sighed and followed John into sleep, pulling the man close to his chest.  The least he could do was cover the man in his scent so others, if there were others out here, would leave him alone . He didn’t know that he would become more involved in the rugged man’s life.

____________

“P-please, John! Give-”

Shirou’s voice, begging for anything cut through his memories, returning him to the present and the situation of his side lover push back, attempting to rub against him further.  Trying to entice him to continue, to push his fingers inside and hopefully fuck him hard like the wolf wanted and enjoyed.  Nosing at the base of the male’s neck, breathing in the strong and intoxicating scent, muffling a moan of pleasure as he pushed forward and rubbed against the bare ass that pushed back.

John couldn’t deny the slight shudder that ran down his spine at the sound of his name leaving Shirou’s lips.  “I still don’t get it,” he breathed against Shirou’s skin, lips tasting the sweat that had started to dot pale skin,”you’ve explained all this “souls” and such, but why,” he pulled the male up, forcing Shirou to lean back against his chest, “me?  Why did you approach me?”  John didn’t voice that he got that one thrill of pleasure he could only find in the wolf’s arms.  Nothing he did could replicate what he felt and though when he laid with Abigail, it was close, but not enough to soothe the wild inside him

Sliding one arm around the male’s chest, gloved fingers finding the giving the rapidly pebbling flesh a slow twist while the other snaked down, curling around the hard and jutting flesh.  Fingers slowly moving, enjoying the jerking movement of Shirou’s hips, trying to get him to move his hand more, faster.  Nosing along the curve of a jaw, the stubble on his face gently scrapping, nipping on skin that he couldn’t get enough of.  He slowed the movement of his hand, pulling the wolf’s hips back against him, nestling his hard cock between Shirou’s cheeks.

A ragged whine from his lover was the only answer he received.  Chuckling and pressing a kiss along a jaw line, fingers resumed their pace along Shirou’s cock, though it wasn’t enough for the begging male.  Arms that reached up and behind him, knocking his well worn hat off his head.  Ignoring the heated glare that Shirou gave him from the corner of his eye, John just gave a sound in his chest, movement quickening as he brought the pale male to completion.  The strangled sound of his name, a shudder as fingers slide through his hair, burying his face against Shirou’s neck as he as he pulled his lover by his hips.  Wishing he had something, anything to ease the way so he could sink into the wolf.

“This,” the canine breathed, slowly rocking against his thrusts, fingers rubbing along his head, “this is the reason.  Your scent, earthy and strong.  It’s been calling out to me, relentlessly.”  Shirou whispered, fingers working along his head, send his body convulsing as came in his pants, a low howl that escaped, muffled by Shirou’s neck.  Though he would try to deny later on that he howled, John enjoyed the answering sound that rumbled out of Shirou’s chest.

Heart pounding as he struggled to hold himself upright, keeping his face hidden against the wolf’s neck in embarrassment.  He hadn’t come in his pants since he was a horny teenager who could shuck his pants fast enough for the prostitute that had been cock teasing him for weeks until he had enough money.

It took him several minutes to calm his rough breathing, enjoying the support that Shirou gave him, helping him stay steady before turning around in his arms before stepping back to give him enough room to move.

“I knew I was right. Your scent, that earthy and musky scent didn’t lie. Some sort of hound,” a murmur as the naked male eyed him. The reach of his hands, guiding to the top of his head and the appendages that hadn’t been there before. Even through the leather of his gloves he could feel the slightly ridged ears and the coarse fur that covered them. “See?  I told you, a retrograde-” a smile the male’s lips as he leaned in.

“Can anyone else see them?” John asked, stepping back away from the comfortable bubble that Shirou was trying to build, this was nothing but a physical release, he didn’t need to bask in the afterglow.  At least that’s what he told himself as he watched the pleased look on Shirou’s face falter and fall.  “Will this put my family in danger?  Will being like this put Abigail and Jack in danger again?”

“Loyal to a fault, no doubt about that,” the whispered words that he was sure wasn’t meant for his ears.  “I can show you how to pull it back and control it so you only show a select few.”  He watched as the male pulled back his soul, pale hair changing, being replaced by black hair before moving away to pick up his discarded clothes.  Turning away to give him a little privacy, John winced at the cool and sticky feeling in his pants, knowing that soon it would dry and crusty.

“To answer your question, even if you left them, your ears and tail,” Shirou added at his confused look, “only those with madararui blood can see them.  But even so, you should keep them hidden.  To show ones true soul is like walking around naked-”

“Like you?” John retorted, looking over his shoulder to see hurt look that crossed the male’s face.  The press of lips and the silence as the male dressed was his answer, stiff shoulders and the glasses that were slipped on.

Cursing under his breath, John reached for his fallen hat.  No matter who, it seemed as though he always shoved his foot into his mouth. “Look-”

“Showing ones soul is a sign of trust,” the words began as Shirou took a seat at the dying campfire, staring into the glowing embers, “if your wife was of madararui blood, you would show your soul to her just as she would to you. I-” the deep breath that was slowly released, the slump of shoulders as pale eyes looked away from the fire and towards him, “I show you my soul because I trust you.”

“You-” John tried to protest, not wanting to put another in danger.

“You didn’t shoot me when you came across me,” Shirou began, moving over enough so he could take a seat.  “Anyone else would have shot me, not because of what I am but because where I came from.  That they would see me as someone beneath them.  But you, John, you offered me warmth and cover.  You gave me protection when you could have left me to fend for myself.  And,” a swallow as the dark haired male leaned against him, “your family welcomed me and allowed me to pay my debt to you.  You let me stay and help you as much as I can.”

“Well, you’re the only person I know that can keep away the wolves and coyotes from the area by just being there.” John gave the male a sideways look, the corners of his lips turning upward.  “You’re giving Jack a chance for an education that I never had and teaching Abigail how to read.  Giving her a chance to expand her knowledge and have what she couldn’t have growing up.” John tried to explain as he caught the flushing of cheeks as the male ducked his head

“And your family is one that I’m envious of.  That feeling, showing each other that you care for them.  Worry about each other’s well being.  It was like that when I was younger, before my parents got sick.” The sad smile that graced Shirou’s face.  “Even if you tell me not to trust you, I’m going to, you know?  You want to protect the life you have now and I, I want to protect you and your happiness.”

John stayed silent as the wolf leaned against him, occasionally reaching up to his ears, gently rubbing the rough fur.  He would have preferred to just lay back and fall asleep, but the drying fluid that stained his pants had him shifting and forcing the male to sit up, watching him with an amused look on his face.

“I take it you didn’t bring a change of clothes.”  The chuckle and the push up as Shirou stood up.  “I guess you’re lucky that I brought some of the soap from home.  Go ahead and strip, we’re not that far from the creek I saw before we stopped.”

“Look, I’m-”

“You don’t have to say anything, John.  I understand, even if it hurts, I know.  I said I want to protect your happiness as well and I wasn’t lying.  You’re speaking the truth and that’s something you don’t see very often anymore. I know that your family is your first priority and that’s all right.  Now, when is Abigail expecting you back?”

John thought for a moment as he unbuckled his gun holsters, setting on their bed rolls before working on the fastenings of his pants.  “Well, we still need to track down West Dickens for Abigail.  Despite being a fraud and pretty much a snake oil salesmen, he does carry a certain sweet that can only satisfy Abigail’s sweet tooth.  There’s that special ordered item that’s down in Mexico.  And on the way back we need to stop at the MacFarlane’s ranch to borrow several of their steers so we can breed the herd.”  Stepping out of his soiled clothing, aware that the male was eyeing him with barely hidden hunger.  Even after what they’ve done, it still wasn’t enough to satisfy the quiet male.

“Let’s get your clothes cleaned and well, I could use a bath.  How about you?” The look in wolf’s eyes told him he had more in mind than just a cool bath.

“Sure, why not?  But you need to show me how to pull back my soul,” he glanced behind himself to catch a look at his tail that had shown up with his ears, “I don’t need anymore trouble from from the government. Again.”  The nodding of understand meant before Shirou fell in step along side him.

“You probably can’t see it, but it matches your ears perfectly.  I wonder,” words murmured softly as fingers found the base of his tall.  He couldn’t stop his back stiffening and the sound of pleasure that escaped. “Yours is just as sensitive as mine.”

John refused to acknowledge the color that was rapidly covering his cheeks as fingers continued to play with his tail and wondered how much trouble it would bring him.